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 Project Gutenberg's Botchan (Master Darling), by Kin-nosuke Natsume

-

 This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with

 almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or

 re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included

 with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org

-

-

 Title: Botchan (Master Darling)

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 Author: Kin-nosuke Natsume

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 Translator: Yasotaro Morri

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 Posting Date: October 14, 2012 [EBook #8868]

 Release Date: September, 2005

 First Posted: August 17, 2003

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 Language: English

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 *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BOTCHAN (MASTER DARLING) ***

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-

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-

 Produced by David Starner and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team

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 BOTCHAN (MASTER DARLING)

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 By The Late Mr. Kin-nosuke Natsume

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 TRANSLATED By Yasotaro Morri

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 Revised by J. R. KENNEDY

-

 1919

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-

-

 A NOTE BY THE TRANSLATOR

-

 No translation can expect to equal, much less to excel, the original.

 The excellence of a translation can only be judged by noting how far it

 has succeeded in reproducing the original tone, colors, style, the

@@ -63,7 +33,6 @@ work is probably wanted the subtle vitality natural to the original
 language, for it defies an attempt, however elaborate, to transmit all

 there is in the original. Correctness of diction may be there, but

 spontaneity is gone; it cannot be helped.

-

 The task of the translator becomes doubly hazardous in case of

 translating a European language into Japanese, or vice versa. Between

 any of the European languages and Japanese there is no visible kinship

@@ -74,7 +43,6 @@ sentiments and traits makes the work of translation all the more
 difficult. A novel written in Japanese which had attained national

 popularity might, when rendered into English, lose its captivating

 vividness, alluring interest and lasting appeal to the reader.

-

 These remarks are made not in way of excuse for any faulty dictions that

 may be found in the following pages. Neither are they made out of

 personal modesty nor of a desire to add undue weight to the present

@@ -87,7 +55,6 @@ unfavorable comment on the original based upon this translation. If
 there be any deserving merits in the following pages the credit is due

 to the original. Any fault found in its interpretation or in the English

 version, the whole responsibility is on the translator.

-

 For the benefit of those who may not know the original, it must be

 stated that "Botchan" by the late Mr. K. Natsume was an epoch-making

 piece of work. On its first appearance, Mr. Natsume's place and name as

@@ -97,7 +64,6 @@ and of more enduring merits, but it was this "Botchan" that secured him
 the lasting fame. Its quaint style, dash and vigor in its narration

 appealed to the public who had become somewhat tired of the stereotyped

 sort of manner with which all stories had come to be handled.

-

 In its simplest understanding, "Botchan" may be taken as an episode in

 the life of a son born in Tokyo, hot-blooded, simple-hearted, pure as

 crystal and sturdy as a towering rock, honest and straight to a fault,

@@ -113,7 +79,6 @@ the story is made a victim of their annoying intrigues, but finally
 comes out triumphant by smashing the petty red tapism, knocking down the

 sham pretentions and by actual use of the fist on the Head Instructor

 and his henchman.

-

 The story will be found equally entertaining as a means of studying the

 peculiar traits of the native of Tokyo which are characterised by their

 quick temper, dashing spirit, generosity and by their readiness to

@@ -126,7 +91,6 @@ story becomes doubly interesting by the fact that Mr. K. Natsume, when
 quite young, held a position of teacher of English at a middle school

 somewhere about the same part of the country described in the story,

 while he himself was born and brought up in Tokyo.

-

 It may be added that the original is written in an autobiographical

 style. It is profusely interladed with spicy, catchy colloquials patent

 to the people of Tokyo for the equals of which we may look to the

@@ -145,23 +109,15 @@ printing such short ugly words be questioned, the translator is sorry to
 say that no means now exists of directly bringing him to account for he

 met untimely death on board the Lusitania when it was sunk by the German

 submarine.

-

 Thanks are due to Mr. J. R. Kennedy, General Manager, and Mr. Henry

 Satoh, Editor-in-Chief, both of the Kokusai Tsushin-sha (the

 International News Agency) of Tokyo and a host of personal friends of

 the translator whose untiring assistance and kind suggestions have made

 the present translation possible. Without their sympathetic interests,

 this translation may not have seen the daylight.

-

 Tokyo, September, 1918.

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-

-

 BOTCHAN (MASTER DARLING)

-

-

 CHAPTER I

-

 Because of an hereditary recklessness, I have been playing always a

 losing game since my childhood. During my grammar school days, I was

 once laid up for about a week by jumping from the second story of the

@@ -174,21 +130,16 @@ chicken-heart, ha, ha!" So I jumped down. The janitor of the school had
 to carry me home on his back, and when my father saw me, he yelled

 derisively, "What a fellow you are to go and get your bones dislocated

 by jumping only from a second story!"

-

 "I'll see I don't get dislocated next time," I answered.

-

 One of my relatives once presented me with a pen-knife. I was showing it

 to my friends, reflecting its pretty blades against the rays of the sun,

 when one of them chimed in that the blades gleamed all right, but seemed

 rather dull for cutting with.

-

 "Rather dull? See if they don't cut!" I retorted.

-

 "Cut your finger, then," he challenged. And with "Finger nothing! Here

 goes!" I cut my thumb slant-wise. Fortunately the knife was small and

 the bone of the thumb hard enough, so the thumb is still there, but the

 scar will be there until my death.

-

 About twenty steps to the east edge of our garden, there was a

 moderate-sized vegetable yard, rising toward the south, and in the

 centre of which stood a chestnut tree which was dearer to me than life.

@@ -200,7 +151,6 @@ called Yamashiro-ya. This shopkeeper's son was a boy about 13 or 14
 years old named Kantaro. Kantaro was, it happens, a mollycoddle.

 Nevertheless he had the temerity to come over the fence to our yard and

 steal my chestnuts.

-

 One certain evening I hid myself behind a folding-gate of the fence and

 caught him in the act. Having his retreat cut off he grappled with me in

 desperation. He was about two years older than I, and, though

@@ -216,7 +166,6 @@ yard, he fell headlong to his own territory with a thud. As he rolled
 off he tore away the sleeve in which his head had been enwrapped, and my

 arm recovered a sudden freedom of movement. That night when my mother

 went to Yamashiro-ya to apologize, she brought back that sleeve.

-

 Besides the above, I did many other mischiefs. With Kaneko of a

 carpenter shop and Kaku of a fishmarket, I once ruined a carrot patch of

 one Mosaku. The sprouts were just shooting out and the patch was covered

@@ -231,19 +180,15 @@ I stuffed the bamboo pole with stones and sticks, and satisfied that no
 more water came up, I returned home and was eating supper when Furukawa,

 fiery red with anger, burst into our house with howling protests. I

 believe the affair was settled on our paying for the damage.

-

 Father did not like me in the least, and mother always sided with my big

 brother. This brother's face was palish white, and he had a fondness for

 taking the part of an actress at the theatre.

-

 "This fellow will never amount to much," father used to remark when

 he saw me.

-

 "He's so reckless that I worry about his future," I often heard mother

 say of me. Exactly; I have never amounted to much. I am just as you see

 me; no wonder my future used to cause anxiety to my mother. I am living

 without becoming but a jailbird.

-

 Two or three days previous to my mother's death, I took it into my head

 to turn a somersault in the kitchen, and painfully hit my ribs against

 the corner of the stove. Mother was very angry at this and told me not

@@ -255,7 +200,6 @@ conditions were so serious as that. Then that big brother of mine
 denounced me as wanting in filial piety, and that I had caused her

 untimely death. Mortified at this, I slapped his face, and thereupon

 received a sound scolding from father.

-

 After the death of mother, I lived with father and brother. Father did

 nothing, and always said "You're no good" to my face. What he meant by

 "no good" I am yet to understand. A funny dad he was. My brother was to

@@ -267,7 +211,6 @@ days. When we played a chess game one day, he placed a chessman as a
 me in a fix. His manner was so trying that time that I banged a chessman

 on his forehead which was injured a little bit and bled. He told all

 about this to father, who said he would disinherit me.

-

 Then I gave up myself for lost, and expected to be really disinherited.

 But our maid Kiyo, who had been with us for ten years or so, interceded

 on my behalf, and tearfully apologized for me, and by her appeal my

@@ -294,7 +237,6 @@ she would remark; "That's the very reason I say you are of a good
 disposition," and would gaze at me with absorbing tenderness. She seemed

 to recreate me by her own imagination, and was proud of the fact. I felt

 even chilled through my marrow at her constant attention to me.

-

 After my mother was dead, Kiyo loved me still more. In my simple

 reasoning, I wondered why she had taken such a fancy to me. Sometimes I

 thought it quite futile on her part, that she had better quit that sort

@@ -319,13 +261,11 @@ and found the edict of the three one-yen bills turned to faint yellow
 and designs fading. Kiyo dried them at an open fire and handed them over

 to me, asking if they were all right. I smelled them and said; "They

 stink yet."

-

 "Give them to me; I'll get them changed." She took those three bills,

 and,--I do not know how she went about it,--brought three yen in silver.

 I forget now upon what I spent the three yen. "I'll pay you back soon,"

 I said at the time, but didn't. I could not now pay it back even if I

 wished to do so with ten times the amount.

-

 When Kiyo gave me anything she did so always when both father and

 brother were out. Many things I do not like, but what I most detest is

 the monopolizing of favors behind some one else's back. Bad as my

@@ -353,7 +293,6 @@ How absurd it seems to me now when I recall those days. I asked her once
 what kind of a man I should be, but she seemed to have formed no

 concrete idea as to that; only she said that I was sure to live in a

 house with grand entrance hall, and ride in a private rikisha.

-

 And Kiyo seemed to have decided for herself to live with me when I

 became independent and occupy my own house. "Please let me live with

 you,"--she repeatedly asked of me. Feeling somewhat that I should

@@ -366,7 +305,6 @@ fancy. I did not then care a straw for anything like a house; so neither
 Japanese nor European style was much of use to me, and I told her to

 that effect. Then she would praise me as uncovetous and clean of heart.

 Whatever I said, she had praise for me.

-

 I lived, after the death of mother, in this fashion for five or six

 years. I had kicks from father, had rows with brother, and had candies

 and praise from Kiyo. I cared for nothing more; I thought this was

@@ -375,7 +313,6 @@ life. As Kiyo frequently told me, however, that I was to be pitied, and
 was unfortunate, I imagined that that might be so. There was nothing

 that particularly worried me except that father was too tight with my

 pocket money, and this was rather hard on me.

-

 In January of the 6th year after mother's death, father died of

 apoplexy. In April of the same year, I graduated from a middle school,

 and two months later, my brother graduated from a business college. Soon

@@ -393,20 +330,16 @@ all the bric-a-bric which had been handed down from ages ago in our
 family. Our house and lot were sold, through the efforts of a middleman

 to a wealthy person. This transaction seemed to have netted a goodly sum

 to him, but I know nothing as to the detail.

-

 For one month previous to this, I had been rooming in a boarding house

 in Kanda-ku, pending a decision as to my future course. Kiyo was greatly

 grieved to see the house in which she had lived so many years change

 ownership, but she was helpless in the matter.

-

 "If you were a little older, you might have inherited this house," she

 once remarked in earnest.

-

 If I could have inherited the house through being a little older, I

 ought to have been able to inherit the house right then. She knew

 nothing, and believed the lack of age only prevented my coming into the

 possession of the house.

-

 Thus I parted from my brother, but the disposal of Kiyo was a difficult

 proposition. My brother was, of course, unable to take her along, nor

 was there any danger of her following him so far away as Kyushu, while I

@@ -422,7 +355,6 @@ better to go over to her nephew than to start a new life as servant in a
 strange house. Be that as it may, she advised me to have my own

 household soon, or get married, so she would come and help me in

 housekeeping. I believe she liked me more than she did her own kin.

-

 My brother came to me, two days previous to his departure for Kyushu,

 and giving me 600 yen, said that I might begin a business with it, or go

 ahead with my study, or spend it in any way I liked, but that that would

@@ -433,7 +365,6 @@ with thanks. Then he produced 50 yen, requesting me to give it to Kiyo
 next time I saw her, which I readily complied with. Two days after, I

 saw him off at the Shimbashi Station, and have not set my eyes on him

 ever since.

-

 Lying in my bed, I meditated on the best way to spend that 600 yen. A

 business is fraught with too much trouble, and besides it was not my

 calling. Moreover with only 600 yen no one could open a business worth

@@ -452,13 +383,11 @@ admittance of more students, I thought this might be a kind of
 "affinity," and having asked for the prospectus, at once filed my

 application for entrance. When I think of it now, it was a blunder due

 to my hereditary recklessness.

-

 For three years I studied about as diligently as ordinary fellows, but

 not being of a particularly brilliant quality, my standing in the class

 was easier to find by looking up from the bottom. Strange, isn't it,

 that when three years were over, I graduated? I had to laugh at myself,

 but there being no reason for complaint, I passed out.

-

 Eight days after my graduation, the principal of the school asked me to

 come over and see him. I wondered what he wanted, and went. A middle

 school in Shikoku was in need of a teacher of mathematics for forty yen

@@ -467,7 +396,6 @@ three years, but to tell the truth, I had no intention of either
 teaching or going to the country. Having nothing in sight, however,

 except teaching, I readily accepted the offer. This too was a blunder

 due to hereditary recklessness.

-

 I accepted the position, and so must go there. The three years of my

 school life I had seen confined in a small room, but with no kick coming

 or having no rough house. It was a comparatively easy going period in my

@@ -480,7 +408,6 @@ of a needle-point on the map. It would not be much to look at anyway. I
 knew nothing about the place or the people there. It did not worry me or

 cause any anxiety. I had simply to travel there and that was the

 annoying part.

-

 Once in a while, since our house was no more, I went to Kiyo's

 nephew's to see her. Her nephew was unusually good-natured, and

 whenever I called upon her, he treated me well if he happened to be at

@@ -493,13 +420,10 @@ not know how her nephew weighed her tales of self-indulgence on me.
 Kiyo was a woman of the old type, and seemed, as if it was still the

 days of Feudal Lords, to regard her nephew equally under obligation to

 me even as she was herself.

-

 After settling about my new position, I called upon her three days

 previous to my departure. She was sick abed in a small room, but, on

 seeing me she got up and immediately inquired;

-

 "Master Darling, when do you begin housekeeping?"

-

 She evidently thought as soon as a fellow finishes school, money comes

 to his pocket by itself. But then how absurd to call such a "great man"

 "Darling." I told her simply that I should let the house proposition go

@@ -508,39 +432,27 @@ disappointed, and blankly smoothed her gray-haired sidelocks. I felt
 sorry for her, and said comfortingly; "I am going away but will come

 back soon. I'll return in the vacation next summer, sure." Still as she

 appeared not fully satisfied, I added;

-

 "Will bring you back a surprise. What do you like?"

-

 She wished to eat "sasa-ame"[1] of Echigo province. I had never heard of

 "sasa-ame" of Echigo. To begin with, the location is entirely different.

-

 [Footnote 1: Sasa-ame is a kind of rice-jelly wrapped with sasa, or the

 bamboo leaves, well-known as a product of Echigo province.]

-

 "There seems to be no 'sasa-ame' in the country where I'm going," I

 explained, and she rejoined; "Then, in what direction?" I answered

 "westward" and she came back with "Is it on the other side of Hakone?"

 This give-and-take conversation proved too much for me.

-

 On the day of my departure, she came to my room early in the morning and

 helped me to pack up. She put into my carpet-bag tooth powder,

 tooth-brush and towels which she said she had bought at a dry goods

 store on her way. I protested that I did not want them, but she was

 insistent.[A] We rode in rikishas to the station. Coming up the

 platform, she gazed at me from outside the car, and said in a low voice;

-

 "This may be our last good-by. Take care of yourself."

-

 Her eyes were full of tears. I did not cry, but was almost going to.

 After the train had run some distance, thinking it would be all right

 now, I poked my head out of the window and looked back. She was still

 there. She looked very small.

-

-

-

 CHAPTER II.

-

-

 With a long, sonorous whistle the steamer which I was aboard came to a

 standstill, and a boat was seen making toward us from the shore. The man

 rowing the boat was stark naked, except for a piece of red cloth girt

@@ -567,7 +479,6 @@ four miles away by rail, I became still more discouraged at putting up
 there. I snatched my two valises from the man with queer-shaped [B]

 sleeves who had guided me so far, and strode away. The people of the inn

 looked after me with a dazed expression.

-

 The station was easily found, and a ticket bought without any fuss. The

 coach I got in was about as dignified as a match-box. The train rambled

 on for about five minutes, and then I had to get off. No wonder the fare

@@ -579,7 +490,6 @@ principal, but being tired, ordered the rikishaman to take me to a
 hotel. He did this with much alacrity and led me to a hotel called

 Yamashiro-ya. I felt it rather amusing to find the name Yamashiro-ya the

 same as that of Kantaro's house.

-

 They ushered me to a dark room below the stairway. No one could stay in

 such a hot place! I said I did not like such a warm room, but the maid

 dumped my valises on the floor and left me, mumbling that all the other

@@ -601,7 +511,6 @@ do her harm, but she replied, "O, no, these leaves are very helpful for
 the health," and ate them with much relish. Astounded, I laughed "Ha,

 ha, ha!"--and so awoke. The maid was opening the outside shutters. The

 weather was just as clear as the previous day.

-

 I had heard once before that when travelling, one should give "tea

 money" to the hotel or inn where he stops; that unless this "tea

 money" is given, the hostelry would accord him rather rough treatment.

@@ -624,7 +533,6 @@ breakfast, but I became disgusted, and taking out one 5-yen bill told
 her to take it to the office later. The face of the maid became then

 shy and awkward. After the meal, I left for the school. The maid did

 not have my shoes polished.

-

 I had had vague idea of the direction of the school as I rode to it the

 previous day, so turning two or three corners, I came to the front gate.

 From the gate to the entrance the walk was paved with granite. When I

@@ -643,7 +551,6 @@ to Tokyo. He said he would introduce me to all my fellow teachers, and I
 was to show to each one of them the note of appointment. What a bother!

 It would be far better to stick this note up in the teachers' room for

 three days instead of going through such a monkey process.

-

 The teachers would not be all in the room until the bugle for the first

 hour was sounded. There was plenty of time. The principal took out his

 watch, and saying that he would acquaint me particularly with the school

@@ -668,18 +575,13 @@ tipping the hotel 5 yen. Nine yen would not take me back to Tokyo. I had
 better not have tipped the hotel; what a pity! However, I would be able

 to manage it somehow. I considered it better to run short in my return

 expenses than to tell a lie.

-

 "I cannot do it the way you want me to. I return this appointment."

-

 I shoved back the note. The principal winked his badger-like eyes and

 gazed at me. Then he said;

-

 "What I have said just now is what I desire of you. I know well that you

 cannot do all I want, So don't worry."

-

 And he laughed. If he knew it so well already, what on earth did he

 scare me for?

-

 Meanwhile the bugle sounded, being followed by bustling noises in the

 direction of the class rooms. All the teachers would be now ready, I was

 told, and I followed the principal to the teachers' room. In a spacious

@@ -694,7 +596,6 @@ performances at a rural show! When I came to the fifteenth, who was the
 teacher of physical training, I became impatient at repeating the same

 old thing so often. The other side had to do it only once, but my side

 had to do it fifteen times. They ought to have had some sympathy.

-

 Among those I met in the room there was Mr. Blank who was head teacher.

 Said he was a Bachelor of Arts. I suppose he was a great man since he

 was a graduate from Imperial University and had such a title. He talked

@@ -723,45 +624,35 @@ mathematics, there was one named Hotta. This was a fellow of massive
 body, with hair closely cropped. He looked like one of the old-time

 devilish priests who made the Eizan temple famous. I showed him the note

 politely, but he did not even look at it, and blurted out;

-

 "You're the man newly appointed, eh? Come and see me sometime,

 ha, ha, ha!"

-

 [Footnote 2: Means the last crop.]

-

 Devil take his "Ha, ha, ha!" Who would go to see a fellow so void of the

 sense of common decency! I gave this priest from this time the nickname

 of Porcupine.

-

 The Confucian teacher was strict in his manner as becoming to his

 profession. "Arrived yesterday? You must be tired. Start teaching

 already? Working hard, indeed!"--and so on. He was an old man, quite

 sociable and talkative.

-

 The teacher of drawing was altogether like a cheap actor. He wore a

 thin, flappy haori of sukiya, and, toying with a fan, he giggled; "Where

 from? eh? Tokyo? Glad to hear that. You make another of our group. I'm a

 Tokyo kid myself."

-

 If such a fellow prided himself on being a Tokyo kid, I wished I had

 never been born in Tokyo. I might go on writing about each one of

 them, for there are many, but I stop here otherwise there will be no

 end to it.

-

 When my formal introduction was over, the principal said that I might go

 for the day, but I should make arrangements as to the class hours, etc.,

 with the head teacher of mathematics and begin teaching from the day

 after the morrow. Asked who was the head teacher of mathematics, I found

 that he was no other than that Porcupine. Holy smokes! was I to serve

 under him? I was disappointed.

-

 "Say, where are you stopping? Yamashiro-ya? Well, I'll come and

 talk it over."

-

 So saying, Porcupine, chalk in hand, left the room to his class. That

 was rather humiliating for a head-teacher to come over and see his

 subordinate, but it was better than to call me over to him.

-

 After leaving the school, I thought of returning straight to the hotel,

 but as there was nothing to do, I decided to take in a little of the

 town, and started walking about following my nose. I saw prefectural

@@ -771,10 +662,8 @@ Tokyo. I passed through the main street. The width of the street is
 about one half that of Kagurazaka, and its aspect is inferior. What

 about a castle-town of 250,000-koku Lord! Pity the fellows who get

 swell-headed in such a place as a castle-town!

-

 While I walked about musing like this, I found myself in front of

 Yamashiro-ya. The town was much narrower than I had been led to believe.

-

 "I think I have seen nearly all. Guess I'll return and eat." And I

 entered the gate. The mistress of the hotel who was sitting at the

 counter, jumped out of her place at my appearance and with "Are you

@@ -787,7 +676,6 @@ took off my European dress, and with only a single Japanese summer coat
 on, sprawled in the centre of the room in the shape of the Japanese

 letter "big" (arms stretched out and legs spread wide[D]). I found it

 very refreshing.

-

 After luncheon I at once wrote a letter to Kiyo. I hate most to write

 letters because I am poor at sentence-making and also poor in my stock

 of words. Neither did I have any place to which to address my letters.

@@ -795,7 +683,6 @@ However, Kiyo might be getting anxious. It would not do to let her worry
 lest she think the steamer which I boarded had been wrecked and I was

 drowned,--so I braced up and wrote a long one. The body of the letter

 was as follows:

-

   "Arrived yesterday. A dull place. Am sleeping in a room of 15 mats.

   Tipped the hotel five yen as tea money. The house-wife of the hotel

   scraped the floor with her forehead. Couldn't sleep last night.

@@ -805,14 +692,11 @@ was as follows:
   'Hubbard Squash' for the teacher of English, 'Porcupine' the teacher

   of mathematics and 'Clown' for that of drawing. Will write you many

   other things soon. Good bye."

-

 When I finished writing the letter, I felt better and sleepy. So I slept

 in the centre of the room, as I had done before, in the letter "big"

 shape ([D]). No dream this time, and I had a sound sleep.

-

 "Is this the room?"--a loud voice was heard,--a voice which woke me up,

 and Porcupine entered.

-

 "How do you do? What you have to do in the school----" he began talking

 shop as soon as I got up and rattled me much. On learning my duties in

 the school, there seemed to be no difficulty, and I decided to accept.

@@ -821,12 +705,10 @@ I told to start not only two days hence but even from the following day.
 The talk on business over, Porcupine said that he did not think it was

 my intention to stay in such a hotel all the time, that he would find a

 room for me in a good boarding house, and that I should move.

-

 "They wouldn't take in another from anybody else but I can do it

 right away. The sooner the better. Go and look at the room to-day,

 move tomorrow and start teaching from the next day. That'll be all

 nice and settled."

-

 He seemed satisfied by arranging all by himself. Indeed, I should not be

 able to occupy such a room for long. I might have to blow in all of my

 salary for the hotel bill and yet be short of squaring it. It was pity

@@ -846,11 +728,7 @@ fellow, but judging by the way he had looked after me so far, he
 appeared not so bad after all. Only he seemed, like me, impatient by

 nature and of quick-temper. I heard afterward that he was liked most by

 all the students in the school.

-

-

-

 CHAPTER III.

-

 My teaching began at last. When I entered the class-room and stepped

 upon the platform for the first time, I felt somewhat strange. While

 lecturing, I wondered if a fellow like me could keep up the profession

@@ -865,7 +743,6 @@ hearing the noon-gun in Marunouchi when I was hungry. The first hour
 passed away in a dashing manner. And it passed away without encountering

 any knotty questions. As I returned to the teachers' room, Porcupine

 asked me how it was. I simply answered "well," and he seemed satisfied.

-

 When I left the teachers' room, chalk in hand, for the second hour

 class, I felt as if I was invading the enemy's territory. On entering

 the room, I found the students for this hour were all big fellows. I am

@@ -881,14 +758,11 @@ on you!" I thought. Elated by my success, I kept on in this tone, when
 one who looked the strongest, sitting in the middle of the front row,

 stood up suddenly, and called "Teacher!" There it goes!--I thought, and

 asked him what it was.

-

 "A-ah sa-ay, you talk too quick. A-ah ca-an't you make it a leetle slow?

 A-ah?" "A-ah ca-an't you?" "A-ah?" was altogether dull.

-

 "If I talk too fast, I'll make it slow, but I'm a Tokyo fellow, and

 can't talk the way you do. If you don't understand it, better wait

 until you do."

-

 So I answered him. In this way the second hour was closed better than I

 had expected. Only, as I was about to leave the class, one of the

 students asked me, "A-ah say, won't you please do them for me?" and

@@ -900,11 +774,9 @@ Some of them were heard saying "He doesn't know much." Don't take a
 teacher for an encyclopaedia! If I could work out such hard questions as

 these easily, I would not be in such a backwoods town for forty yen a

 month. I returned to the teachers' room.

-

 "How was it this time?" asked Porcupine. I said "Umh." But not satisfied

 with "Umh" only, I added that all the students in this school were

 boneheads. He put up a whimsical face.

-

 The third and the fourth hour and the first hour in the afternoon were

 more or less the same. In all the classes I attended, I made some kind

 of blunder. I realised that the profession of teaching not quite so easy

@@ -922,12 +794,9 @@ the absurdity of keeping me there till three o'clock regardless of my
 having nothing to do in the school. He said "Yes" and laughed. But he

 became serious and in an advisory manner told me not to make many

 complaints about the school.

-

 "Talk to me only, if you want to. There are some queer guys around."

-

 As we parted at the next corner, I did not have time to hear more from

 him.

-

 On reaching my room, the boss of the house came to me saying, "Let me

 serve you tea." I expected he was going to treat me to some good tea

 since he said "Let me serve you," but he simply made himself at home

@@ -935,10 +804,8 @@ and drank my own tea. Judging by this, I thought he might be
 practising "Let me serve you" during my absence. The boss said that he

 was fond of antique drawings and curios and finally had decided to

 start in that business.

-

 "You look like one quite taken about art. Suppose you begin patronizing

 my business just for fun as er--connoisseur of art?"

-

 It was the least expected kind of solicitation. Two years ago, I went to

 the Imperial Hotel (Tokyo) on an errand, and I was taken for a

 locksmith. When I went to see the Daibutsu at Kamakura, haying wrapped

@@ -960,10 +827,8 @@ kind not so bitter as that, and he answered "All right, Sir," and drank
 another cup. The fellow seemed never to know of having enough of

 anything so long as it was another man's. After he left the room, I

 prepared for the morrow and went to bed.

-

 [Footnote 3: A tanzaku is a long, narrow strip of stiff paper on which a

 Japanese poem is written.]

-

 Everyday thereafter I attended at the school and worked as per

 regulations. Every day on my return, the boss came to my room with the

 same old "Let me serve you tea." In about a week I understood the school

@@ -979,12 +844,10 @@ my blunders in the class room affected the students, or how much further
 they affected the principal or the head-teacher. As I mentioned before,

 I am not a fellow of much audacity to speak of, but I am quick to give

 up anything when I see its finish.

-

 I had resolved to go elsewhere at once if the school did not suit me. In

 consequence, neither Badger nor Red Shirt wielded any influence over me.

 And still less did I feel like coaxing or coddling the youngsters in the

 class room.

-

 So far it was O.K. with the school, but not so easy as that at my

 boarding house. I could have stood it if it had been only the boss

 coming to my room after my tea. But he would fetch many things to my

@@ -1000,17 +863,14 @@ is Kazan anything, and that this picture was the work of that Kazan
 something. After this nonsensical lecture, he insisted that he would

 make it fifteen yen for me to buy it. I declined the offer saying that I

 was shy of the money.

-

 [Footnote 4: Artists have several seals of stone with which to stamp on

 the picture they draw as a guarantee of their personal work or for

 identification. The shape and kind of seals are quite a hobby among

 artists, and sales or exchange are of common occurrence.]

-

 "You can pay any time." He was insistent. I settled him by telling him

 of my having no intention of purchasing it even if I had the necessary

 money. Again next time, he yanked in a big writing stone slab about the

 size of a ridge-tile.

-

 "This is a tankei,"[5] he said. As he "tankeied" two or three times, I

 asked for fun what was a tankei. Right away he commenced lecturing on

 the subject. "There are the upper, the middle and the lower stratum in

@@ -1024,13 +884,10 @@ wishing to sell if as soon as possible, he would make it very cheap,
 that I could have it for thirty yen. I was sure he was a fool. I seemed

 to be able to get through the school somehow, but I would soon give out

 if this "curio siege" kept on long.

-

 [Footnote 5: Tankei is the name of a place in China where a certain kind

 of stone suitable for writing purposes was produced.]

-

 [Footnote 6: "Gan" may be understood as a kind of natural mark on the

 stone peculiar to the stone from Tankei.]

-

 Shortly afterwards, I began to get sick of the school. One certain

 night, while I was strolling about a street named Omachi, I happened to

 notice a sign of noodles below of which was annotated "Tokyo" in the

@@ -1052,7 +909,6 @@ pasted on the wall, was entirely new. I was certain that they bought an
 old house and opened the business just two or three days before. At the

 head of the price-list appeared "tempura" (noodles served with shrimp

 fried in batter).

-

 "Say, fetch me some tempura," I ordered in a loud voice. Then three

 fellows who had been making a chewing noise together in a corner, looked

 in my direction. As the room was dark I did not notice them at first.

@@ -1060,7 +916,6 @@ But when we looked at each other, I found them all to be boys in our
 school. They "how d'ye do'd" me and I acknowledged it. That night,

 having come across the noodle after so long a time, it tasted so fine

 that I ate four bowls.

-

 The next day as I entered the class room quite unconcernedly, I saw on

 the black board written in letters so large as to take up the whole

 space; "Professor Tempura." The boys all glanced at my face and made

@@ -1072,7 +927,6 @@ finishing up my class, I returned to the teachers' room. After ten
 minutes' recess, I went to the next class, and there on the black board

 was newly written quite as large as before; "Four bowls of tempura

 noodles, but don't laugh."

-

 The first one did not arouse any ill-temper in me, but this time it made

 me feel irritating mad. A joke carried too far becomes mischievous. It

 is like the undue jealousy of some women who, like coal, look black and

@@ -1093,7 +947,6 @@ joke and if they knew the meaning of "cowardice." Some of them answered
 that to get angry on being laughed at over one's own doing, was

 cowardice. What made them so disgusting as this? I pitied myself for

 coming from far off Tokyo to teach such a lot.

-

 "Keep your mouth shut, and study hard," I snapped, and started the

 class. In the next class again there was written: "When one eats tempura

 noodles it makes him drawl nonsense." There seemed no end to it. I was

@@ -1101,7 +954,6 @@ thoroughly aroused with anger, and declaring that I would not teach such
 sassies, went home straight. The boys were glad of having an unexpected

 holiday, so I heard. When things had come to this pass, the antique

 curious seemed far more preferable to the school.

-

 My return home and sleep over night greatly rounded off my rugged temper

 over the tempura affair. I went to the school, and they were there also.

 I could not tell what was what. The three days thereafter were pacific,

@@ -1118,7 +970,6 @@ It is true that I ate two dishes and paid seven sen. Troublesome kids! I
 declare. I expected with certainty that there would be something at the

 second hour, and there it was; "The dango in the tenderloin taste fine."

 Stupid wretches!

-

 No sooner I thought, the dango incident closed than the red towel became

 the topic for widespread gossip. Inquiry as to the story revealed it to

 be something unusually absurd. Since, my arrival here, I had made it a

@@ -1134,7 +985,6 @@ not fast enough, streaked about so that the towel now looked as if it
 were dyed red. This towel hung down from my hand on both ways whether

 afoot or riding in the train. For this reason, the students nicknamed me

 Red Towel. Honest, it is exasperating to live in a little town.

-

 There is some more. The bath house I patronized was a newly built

 three-story house, and for the patrons of the first class the house

 provided a bath-robe, in addition to an attendant, and the cost was only

@@ -1143,7 +993,6 @@ fashion. I always paid the first class. Then those gossipy spotters
 started saying that for one who made only forty yen a month to take a

 first class bath every day was extravagant. Why the devil should they

 care? It was none of their business.

-

 There is still some more. The bath-tub,--or the tank in this case,--was

 built of granite, and measured about thirty square feet. Usually there

 were thirteen or fourteen people in the tank, but sometimes there was

@@ -1163,12 +1012,7 @@ a fellow to stop doing whatever I had started upon no matter what
 students might say, but I became thoroughly disgusted when I meditated

 on why I had come to such a narrow, suffocating place. And, then, when I

 returned home, the "antique curio siege" was still going on.

-

-

-

 CHAPTER IV

-

-

 For us teachers there was a duty of night watch in the school, and we

 had to do it in turn. But Badger and Red Shirt were not in it. On

 asking why these two were exempt from this duty, I was told that they

@@ -1194,7 +1038,6 @@ never stayed out overnight. When I did not find sleeping under the roof
 of my friends inviting, night watch in the school, you may be sure, was

 still worse. However repulsive, if this was a part of the forty yen a

 month, there was no alternative. I had to do it.

-

 To remain alone in the school after the faculty and students had gone

 home, was something particularly awkward. The room for the night watch

 was in the rear of the school building at the west end of the dormitory.

@@ -1218,7 +1061,6 @@ to go out. I told the janitor that I was going out for a minute. He
 asked me "on business?" and I answered "No," but to take a bath at the

 hot springs, and went out straight. It was too bad that I had left my

 red towel at home, but I would borrow one over there for to-day.

-

 I took plenty of time in dipping in the bath and as it became dark at

 last, I came to the Furumachi Station on a train. It was only about four

 blocks to the school; I could cover it in no time. When I started

@@ -1226,35 +1068,27 @@ walking schoolwards, Badger was seen coming from the opposite direction.
 Badger, I presumed, was going to the hot springs by this train. He came

 with brisk steps, and as we passed by, I nodded my courtesy. Then

 Badger, with a studiously owlish countenance, asked:

-

 "Am I wrong to understand that you are night watch?"

-

 Chuck that "Am-I-wrong-to-understand"! Two hours ago, did he not say to

 me "You're on first night watch to-night. Now, take care of yourself?"

 What makes one use such a roundabout, twisted way of saying anything

 when he becomes a principal? I was far from smiling.

-

 "Yes, Sir," I said, "I'm night watch to-night, and as I am night watch I

 will return to the school and stay there overnight, sure." With this

 parting shot, I left him where we met. Coming then to the cross-streets

 of Katamachi, I met Porcupine. This is a narrow place, I tell you.

 Whenever one ventures out, he is sure to come across some familiar face.

-

 "Say, aren't you night watch?" he hallooed, and I said "Yes, I am." "Tis

 wrong for night watch to leave his post at his pleasure," he added, and

 to this I blurted out with a bold front; "Nothing wrong at all. It is

 wrong not to go out."

-

 "Say, old man, your slap-dash is going to the limit. Wouldn't look well

 for the principal or the head teacher to see you out like this."

-

 The submissive tone of his remark was contrary to Porcupine as I had

 known him so far, so I cut him short by saying:

-

 "I have met the principal just now. Why, he approved my taking a stroll

 about the town. Said it would be hard on night watch unless he took a

 walk when it is hot." Then I made a bee-line for the school.

-

 Soon it was night. I called the janitor to my room and had a chat for

 about two hours. I grew tired of this, and thought I would get into bed

 anyway, even if I could not sleep. I put on my night shirt, lifted the

@@ -1272,7 +1106,6 @@ solid base, and that if he had any fuss to make, make it to the house,
 not to me. This room for night watch was not on the second floor, so

 nobody cared how much I banged. I do not feel well-rested unless I go to

 bed with the loudest bang I can make.

-

 "This is bully!" and I straightened out my feet, when something jumped

 and clung to them. They felt coarse, and seemed not to be fleas. I was a

 bit surprised, and shook my feet inside the blanket two or three times.

@@ -1296,67 +1129,48 @@ where they made a fluffy jerk and remained, far from being dead. At
 last, in about half an hour the slaughter of the grasshoppers was ended.

 I fetched a broom and swept them out. The janitor came along and asked

 what was the matter.

-

 "Damn the matter! Where in thunder are the fools who keep grasshoppers

 in bed! You pumpkinhead!"

-

 The janitor answered by explaining that he did not know anything about

 it. "You can't get away with Did-not-know," and I followed this

 thundering by throwing away the broom. The awe-struck janitor shouldered

 the broom and faded away.

-

 At once I summoned three of the students to my room as the

 "representatives," and six of them reported. Six or ten made no

 difference; I rolled up the sleeves of my night-shirt and fired away.

-

 "What do you mean by putting grasshoppers in my bed!"

-

 "Grasshoppers? What are they?" said one in front, in a tone disgustingly

 quiet. In this school, not only the principal, but the students as well,

 were addicted to using twisted-round expressions.

-

 "Don't know grasshoppers! You shall see!" To my chagrin, there was none;

 I had swept them all out. I called the janitor again and told him to

 fetch those grasshoppers he had taken away. The janitor said he had

 thrown them into the garbage box, but that he would pick them out again.

 "Yes, hurry up," I said, and he sped away. After a while he brought back

 about ten grasshoppers on a white paper, remarking:

-

 "I'm sorry, Sir. It's dark outside and I can't find out more. I'll find

 some tomorrow." All fools here, down to the janitor. I showed one

 grasshopper to the students.

-

 "This is a grasshopper. What's the matter for as big idiots as you not

 to know a grasshopper." Then the one with a round face sitting on the

 left saucily shot back:

-

 "A-ah say, that's a locust, a-ah----."

-

 "Shut up. They're the same thing. In the first place, what do you

 mean by answering your teacher 'A-ah say'? Ah-Say or Ah-Sing is a

 Chink's name!"

-

 For this counter-shot, he answered:

-

 "A-ah say and Ah-Sing is different,--A-ah say." They never got rid of

 "A-ah say."

-

 "Grasshoppers or locusts, why did you put them into my bed? When I

 asked you to?"

-

 "Nobody put them in."

-

 "If not, how could they get into the bed?"

-

 "Locusts are fond of warm places and probably they got in there

 respectfully by themselves."

-

 "You fools! Grasshoppers getting into bed respectfully! I should smile

 at them getting in there respectfully! Now, what's the reason for doing

 this mischief? Speak out."

-

 "But there is no way to explain it because we didn't do it."

-

 Shrimps! If they were afraid of making a clean breast of their own deed,

 they should not have done it at all. They looked defiant, and appeared

 to insist on their innocence as long as no evidence was brought up. I

@@ -1376,14 +1190,11 @@ anyway? They enter a school, tattle round lies, play silly jokes behind
 some one by sneaking and cheating and get wrongly swell-headed when they

 finish the school thinking they have received an education. A common lot

 of jackasses they are.

-

 My hatred of talking with these scamps became intense, so I dismissed

 them by saying:

-

 "If you fellows have nothing to say, let it go at that. You deserve

 pity for not knowing the decent from the vulgar after coming to a

 middle school."

-

 I am not very decent in my own language or manner, but am sure that my

 moral standard is far more decent than that of these gangs. Those six

 boys filed out leisurely. Outwardly they appeared more dignified than I

@@ -1410,7 +1221,6 @@ and if I go to Echigo for the purpose of buying that sweetmeat to let
 her eat it, she is fully worth that trouble. Kiyo has been praising me

 as unselfish and straight, but she is a person of sterling qualities far

 more than I whom she praises. I began to feel like meeting her.

-

 While I was thus meditating about Kiyo, all of a sudden, on the floor

 above my head, about thirty to forty people, if I guess by the number,

 started stamping the floor with bang, bang, bang that well threatened to

@@ -1423,9 +1233,7 @@ done. It should be proper that they repent their folly after going to
 bed and to come and beg me pardon the next morning. Even if they could

 not go so far as to apologize they should have kept quiet. Then what

 does this racket mean? Where we keeping hogs in our dormitory?

-

 "This crazy thing got to stop. See what you get!"

-

 I ran out of the room in my night shirt, and flew upstairs in three and

 half steps. Then, strange to say, thunderous rumbling, of which I was

 sure of hearing in the act, was hushed. Not only a whisper but even

@@ -1449,9 +1257,7 @@ roar was raised, coming from about thirty or forty throats, "One, two,
 three,--Whee-ee!" The roar had hardly subsided, when, as before, the

 stamping of the floor commenced with furious rhythm. Ah, it was not a

 dream, but a real thing!

-

 "Quit making the noise! 'Tis midnight!"

-

 I shouted to beat the band, and started in their direction. My passage

 was dark; the moonlight yonder was only my guide. About twelve feet

 past, I stumbled squarely against some hard object; ere the "Ouch!" has

@@ -1461,7 +1267,6 @@ would not obey the command. Growing impatient, I hobbled on one foot,
 and found both voice and stamping already ceased and perfectly quiet.

 Men can be cowards but I never expected them capable of becoming such

 dastardly cowards as this. They challenged hogs.

-

 Now the situation having developed to this pretty mess, I would not give

 it up until I had dragged them out from hiding and forced them to

 apologize. With this determination, I tried to open one of the doors and

@@ -1492,7 +1297,6 @@ think,--if the honest does not win, what else is there in this world
 that will win? If I cannot beat them to-night, I will tomorrow; if not

 tomorrow, then the day after tomorrow. If not the day after tomorrow, I

 will sit down right here, get my meals from my home until I beat them.

-

 Thus resolved, I squatted in the middle of the corridor and waited for

 the dawn. Myriads of mosquitoes swarmed about me, but I did not mind

 them. I felt my leg where I hit it a while ago; it seemed bespattered

@@ -1505,21 +1309,17 @@ nearest to me, and yanked it with all my might. He fell down prone. Look
 at what you're getting now! I flew at the other fellow, who was much

 confused; gave him vigorous shaking twice or thrice, and he only kept

 open his bewildering eyes.

-

 "Come up to my room." Evidently they were mollycoddles, for they obeyed

 my command without a murmur. The day had become already clear.

-

 I began questioning those two in my room, but,--you cannot pound out the

 leopard's spots no matter how you may try,--they seemed determined to

 push it through by an insistent declaration of "not guilty," that they

 would not confess. While this questioning was going on, the students

 upstairs came down, one by one, and began congregating in my room. I

 noticed all their eyes were swollen from want of sleep.

-

 "Blooming nice faces you got for not sleeping only one night. And you

 call yourselves men! Go, wash your face and come back to hear what I've

 got to tell you."

-

 I hurled this shot at them, but none of them went to wash his face. For

 about one hour, I had been talking and back-talking with about fifty

 students when suddenly Badger put in his appearance. I heard afterward

@@ -1527,7 +1327,6 @@ that the janitor ran to Badger for the purpose of reporting to him that
 there was a trouble in the school. What a weak-knee of the janitor to

 fetch the principal for so trifling an affair as this! No wonder he

 cannot see better times than a janitor.

-

 The principal listened to my explanation, and also to brief remarks from

 the students. "Attend school as usual till further notice. Hurry up with

 washing your face and breakfast; there isn't much time left." So the

@@ -1535,39 +1334,29 @@ principal let go all the students. Decidedly slow way of handling, this.
 If I were the principal, I would expel them right away. It is because

 the school accords them such luke-warm treatment that they get "fresh"

 and start "guying" the night watch.

-

 He said to me that it must have been trying on my nerves, and that

 I might be tired, and also that I need not teach that day. To this

 I replied:

-

 "No, Sir, no worrying at all. Such things may happen every night,

 but it would not disturb me in the least as long as I breathe. I

 will do the teaching. If I were not able to teach on account of lack

 of sleep for only one single night, I would make a rebate of my

 salary to the school."

-

 I do not know how this impressed him, but he gazed at me for a while,

 and called my attention to the fact that my face was rather swollen.

 Indeed, I felt it heavy. Besides, it itched all over. I was sure the

 mosquitoes must have stung me there to their hearts' content. I

 further added:

-

 "My face may be swollen, but I can talk all right; so I will teach;"

 thus scratching my face with some warmth. The principal smiled and

 remarked, "Well, you have the strength." To tell the truth, he did not

 intend remark to be a compliment, but, I think, a sneer.

-

-

-

 CHAPTER V.

-

-

 "Won't you go fishing?" asked Red Shirt He talks in a strangely womanish

 voice. One would not be able to tell whether he was a man or a woman. As

 a man he should talk like one. Is he not a college graduate? I can talk

 man-like enough, and am a graduate from a school of physics at that. It

 is a shame for a B.A. to have such a squeak.

-

 I answered with the smallest enthusiasm, whereupon he further asked me

 an impolite question if I ever did fishing. I told him not much, that I

 once caught three gibels when I was a boy, at a fishing game pond at

@@ -1579,7 +1368,6 @@ stuck out his chin and laughed "ho, ho." Why could he not laugh just
 like an ordinary person? "Then you are not well acquainted with the

 spirit of the game," he cried. "I'll show you if you like." He seemed

 highly elated.

-

 Not for me! I take it this way that generally those who are fond of

 fishing or shooting have cruel hearts. Otherwise, there is no reason why

 they could derive pleasure in murdering innocent creatures. Surely, fish

@@ -1612,12 +1400,10 @@ I returned home and got ready, and having joined Red Shirt and Clown at
 the station, we three started to the shore. There was only one boatman

 to row; the boat was long and narrow, a kind we do not have in Tokyo. I

 looked for fishing rods but could find none.

-

 "How can we fish without rods? How are we going to manage it?" I asked

 Clown and he told me with the air of a professional fisherman that no

 rods were needed in the deep-sea fishing, but only lines. I had better

 not asked him if I was to be talked down in this way.

-

 The boatman was rowing very slowly, but his skill was something

 wonderful. We had already come far out to sea, and on turning back, saw

 the shore minimized, fading in far distance. The five-storied pagoda of

@@ -1630,7 +1416,6 @@ absolutely fine view." I don't know whether it is so fine as to be
 absolute, but there was no doubt as to the exhilarating air. I realized

 it as the best tonic to be thus blown by the fresh sea breeze upon a

 wide expanse of water. I felt hungry.

-

 "Look at that pine; its trunk is straight and spreads its top branches

 like an umbrella. Isn't it a Turnersque picture?" said Red Shirt. "Yes,

 just like Turner's," responded Clown, "Isn't the way it curves just

@@ -1648,14 +1433,11 @@ call it so hereafter," seconded Red Shirt. If I was included in that
 "We," it was something I least cared for. Aoshima was good enough for

 me. "By the way, how would it look," said Clown, "if we place Madonna by

 Raphael upon that rock? It would make a fine picture."

-

 "Let's quit talking about Madonna, ho, ho, ho," and Red Shirt emitted a

 spooky laugh.

-

 "That's all right. Nobody's around," remarked Clown as he glanced at me,

 and turning his face to other direction significantly, smiled

 devilishly. I felt sickened.

-

 As it was none of my business whether it was a Madonna or a kodanna

 (young master), they let pose there any old way, but it was vulgar to

 feign assurance that one's subject is in no danger of being understood

@@ -1665,16 +1447,12 @@ favorite geisha of Red Shirt. I should smile at the idea of his gazing
 at his tootsy-wootsy standing beneath a pine tree. It would be better

 if Clown would make an oil painting of the scene and exhibit it for

 the public.

-

 "This will be about the best place." So saying the boatman stopped

 rowing the boat and dropped an anchor.

-

 "How deep is it?" asked Red Shirt, and was told about six fathoms.

-

 "Hard to fish sea-breams in six fathoms," said Red Shirt as he dropped a

 line into the water. The old sport appeared to expect to fetch some

 bream. Bravo!

-

 "It wouldn't be hard for you. Besides it is calm," Clown fawningly

 remarked, and he too dropped a line. The line had only a tiny bit of

 lead that looked like a weight. It had no float. To fish without a float

@@ -1682,16 +1460,13 @@ seemed as nearly reasonable as to measure the heat without a
 thermometer, which was something impossible for me. So I looked on. They

 then told me to start, and asked me if I had any line. I told them I had

 more than I could use, but that I had no float.

-

 "To say that one is unable to fish without a float shows that he is a

 novice," piped up Clown.

-

 "See? When the line touches the bottom, you just manage it with your

 finger on the edge. If a fish bites, you could tell in a minute. There

 it goes," and Red Shirt hastily started taking out the line. I wondered

 what he had got, but I saw no fish, only the bait was gone. Ha, good for

 you, Gov'nur!

-

 "Wasn't it too bad! I'm sure it was a big one. If you miss that way,

 with your ability, we would have to keep a sharper watch to-day. But,

 say, even if we miss the fish, it's far better than staring at a float,

@@ -1700,7 +1475,6 @@ has been getting rather gay, and I was almost tempted to swat him. I'm
 just as good as they are. The sea isn't leased by Red Shirt, and there

 might be one obliging bonito which might get caught by my line. I

 dropped my line then, and toyed it with my finger carelessly.

-

 After a while something shook my line with successive jerks. I thought

 it must be a fish. Unless it was something living, it would not give

 that tremulous shaking. Good! I have it, and I commenced drawing in the

@@ -1717,10 +1491,8 @@ died. Red Shirt and Clown watched me with surprise. I washed my hands in
 the water but they still smelled "fishy." No more for me! I don't care

 what fish I might get, I don't want to grab a fish. And I presume the

 fish doesn't want to be grabbed either. I hastily rolled up the line.

-

 "Splendid for the first honor, but that's goruki," Clown again made a

 "fresh" remark.

-

 "Goruki sounds like the name of a Russian literator," said Red Shirt.

 "Yes, just like a Russian literator," Clown at once seconded Red Shirt.

 Gorky for a Russian literator, Maruki a photographer of Shibaku, and

@@ -1735,24 +1507,19 @@ a magazine with a red cover entitled Imperial Literature to the school
 and poring over it with reverence. I heard it from Porcupine that Red

 Shirt gets his supply of all foreign names from that magazine. Well, I

 should say!

-

 For some time, Red Shirt and Clown fished assiduously and within about

 an hour they caught about fifteen fish. The funny part of it was that

 all they caught were goruki; of sea-bream there was not a sign.

-

 "This is a day of bumper crop of Russian literature," Red Shirt said,

 and Clown answered:

-

 "When one as skilled as you gets nothing but goruki, it's natural for me

 to get nothing else."

-

 The boatman told me that this small-sized fish goruki has too many

 tiny bones and tastes too poor to be fit for eating, but they could be

 used for fertilising. So Red Shirt and Clown were fishing fertilisers

 with vim and vigor. As for me, one goruki was enough and I laid down

 myself on the bottom, and looked up at the sky. This was far more

 dandy than fishing.

-

 Then the two began whispering. I could not hear well, nor did I care to.

 I was looking up at the sky and thinking about Kiyo. If I had enough of

 money, I thought, and came with Kiyo to such a picturesque place, how

@@ -1771,7 +1538,6 @@ but I could not make out what they were talking about. "Eh? I don't
 know......" "...... That's true ...... he doesn't know ...... isn't it

 pity, though ......." "Can that be......." "With grasshoppers ......

 that's a fact."

-

 I did not listen to what they were talking, but when I heard Clown say

 "grasshoppers," I cocked my ear instinctively. Clown emphasized, for

 what reason I do not know the word "grasshopers" so that it would be

@@ -1779,7 +1545,6 @@ sure to reach my ear plainly, and he blurred the rest on purpose. I did
 not move, and kept on listening. "That same old Hotta," "that may be the

 case...." "Tempura ...... ha, ha, ha ......" "...... incited ......"

 "...... dango also? ......"

-

 The words were thus choppy, but judging by their saying "grasshoppers,"

 "tempura" or "dango," I was sure they were secretly talking something

 about me. If they wanted to talk, they should do it louder. If they

@@ -1797,7 +1562,6 @@ sunlight gradually waned and chilly winds commenced stirring. The clouds
 that resembled the streaky smokes of joss sticks were slowly extending

 over a clear sky, and by degrees they were absorbed, melted and changed

 to a faint fog.

-

 "Well, let's be going," said Red Shirt suddenly. "Yes, this is the time

 we were going. See your Madonna to-night?" responded Clown. "Cut out

 nonsense ...... might mean a serious trouble," said Red Shirt who was

@@ -1806,89 +1570,66 @@ all right if he hears.......," and when Clown, so saying, turned himself
 my way, I glared squarely in his face. Clown turned back as if to keep

 away from a dazzling light, and with "Ha, this is going some," shrugged

 his shoulders and scratched his head.

-

 The boat was now being rowed shore-ward over the calm sea. "You don't

 seem much fond of fishing," asked Red Shirt. "No, I'd rather prefer

 lying and looking at the sky," I answered, and threw the stub of

 cigarette I had been smoking into the water; it sizzled and floated on

 the waves parted by the oar.

-

 "The students are all glad because you have come. So we want you do your

 best." Red Shirt this time started something quite alien to fishing. "I

 don't think they are," I said. "Yes; I don't mean it as flattery. They

 are, sure. Isn't it so, Mr. Yoshikawa?"

-

 "I should say they are. They're crazy over it," said Clown with an

 unctuous smile. Strange that whatever Clown says, it makes me itching

 mad. "But, if you don't look out, there is danger," warned Red Shirt.

-

 "I am fully prepared for all dangers," I replied. In fact, I had made up

 my mind either to get fired or to make all the students in the dormitory

 apologize to me.

-

 "If you talk that way, that cuts everything out. Really, as a head

 teacher, I've been considering what is good for you, and wouldn't like

 you to mistake it."

-

 "The head teacher is really your friend. And I'm doing what I can for

 you, though mighty little, because you and I are Yedo kids, and I would

 like to have you stay with us as long as possible and we can help each

 other." So said Clown and it sounded almost human. I would sooner hang

 myself than to get helped by Clown.

-

 "And the students are all glad because you had come, but there are many

 circumstances," continued Red Shirt. "You may feel angry sometimes but

 be patient for the present, and I will never do anything to hurt your

 interests."

-

 "You say 'many circumstances'; what are they?"

-

 "They're rather complicated. Well, they'll be clear to you by and by.

 You'll understand them naturally without my talking them over. What do

 you say, Mr. Yoshikawa?"

-

 "Yes, they're pretty complicated; hard to get them cleared up in a

 jiffy. But they'll become clear by-the-bye. Will be understood naturally

 without my explaining them," Clown echoed Red Shirt.

-

 "If they're such a bother, I don't mind not hearing them. I only asked

 you because you sprang the subject."

-

 "That's right. I may seem irresponsible in not concluding the thing I

 had started. Then this much I'll tell you. I mean no offense, but you

 are fresh from school, and teaching is a new experience. And a school is

 a place where somewhat complicated private circumstances are common and

 one cannot do everything straight and simple".

-

 "If can't get it through straight and simple, how does it go?"

-

 "Well, there you are so straight as that. As I was saying, you're short

 of experience........"

-

 "I should be. As I wrote it down in my record-sheet, I'm 23 years and

 four months."

-

 "That's it. So you'd be done by some one in unexpected quarter."

-

 "I'm not afraid who might do me as long as I'm honest."

-

 "Certainly not. No need be afraid, but I do say you look sharp; your

 predecessor was done."

-

 I noticed Clown had become quiet, and turning round, saw him at the

 stern talking with the boatman. Without Clown, I found our conversation

 running smoothly.

-

 "By whom was my predecessor done?"

-

 "If I point out the name, it would reflect on the honor of that person,

 so I can't mention it. Besides there is no evidence to prove it and I

 may be in a bad fix if I say it. At any rate, since you're here, my

 efforts will prove nothing if you fail. Keep a sharp look-out, please."

-

 "You say look-out, but I can't be more watchful than I'm now. If I don't

 do anything wrong, after all, that's all right isn't it?"

-

 Red Shirt laughed. I did not remember having said anything provocative

 of laughter. Up to this very minute, I have been firm in my conviction

 that I'm right. When I come to consider the situation, it appears that a

@@ -1905,7 +1646,6 @@ simplicity. My word! what chances have the simple-hearted or the pure in
 a society where they are made objects of contempt! Kiyo would never

 laugh at such a time; she would listen with profound respect. Kiyo is

 far superior to Red Shirt.

-

 "Of course, that't all right as long as you don't do anything wrong. But

 although you may not do anything wrong, they will do you just the same

 unless you can see the wrong of others. There are fellows you have got

@@ -1914,21 +1654,14 @@ get boarding house for you...... Getting rather cold. 'Tis already
 autumn, isn't it. The beach looks beer-color in the fog. A fine view.

 Say, Mr. Yoshikawa, what do you think of the scene along the

 beach?......" This in a loud voice was addressed to Clown.

-

 "Indeed, this is a fine view. I'd get a sketch of it if I had time.

 Seems a pity to leave it there," answered Clown.

-

 A light was seen upstairs at Minato-ya, and just as the whistle of a

 train was sounded, our boat pushed its nose deep into the sand. "Well,

 so you're back early," courtesied the wife of the boatman as she stepped

 upon the sand. I stood on the edge of the boat; and whoop! I jumped out

 to the beach.

-

-

-

 CHAPTER VI.

-

-

 I heartily despise Clown. It would be beneficial for Japan if such a

 fellow were tied to a quernstone and dumped into the sea. As to Red

 Shirt, his voice did not suit my fancy. I believe he suppresses his

@@ -1960,7 +1693,6 @@ is nothing that cannot be settled by talking it over. If what he says
 sounds reasonable, I would resign even tomorrow. This is not the only

 town where I can get bread and butter; I ought not to die homeless

 wherever I go. I thought Porcupine was a better sport.

-

 When I came here, Porcupine was the first to treat me to ice water. To

 be treated by such a fellow, even if it is so trifling a thing as ice

 water, affects my honor. I had only one glass then and had him pay only

@@ -2016,7 +1748,6 @@ should step into the thick of the fight between Porcupine and me, and
 side with me with all his colors flying. By so doing, he might be worthy

 the position of the head teacher, and vindicate the principle of wearing

 red shirts.

-

 I told the head teacher that I had not divulged the secret to anybody

 but was going to fight it out with Porcupine. Red Shirt was greatly

 perturbed, and stuttered out; "Say, don't do anything so rash as that. I

@@ -2033,10 +1764,8 @@ If Red Shirt was typical of Bachelors of Arts, I did not see much in
 them. He appeared composed after having requested me to do something

 self-contradictory and wanting logic, and on top of that suspects my

 sincerity.

-

 "Don't you mistake," I said to myself, "I'm a man to the marrow, and

 haven't the idea of breaking my own promises; mark that!"

-

 Meanwhile the occupants of the desks on both my sides came to the room,

 and Red Shirt hastily withdrew to his own desk. Red Shirt shows some air

 even in his walk. In stepping about the room, he places down his shoes

@@ -2046,7 +1775,6 @@ not training himself for a burglar, I suppose. He should cut out such
 nonsense before it gets worse. Then the bugle for the opening of classes

 was heard. Porcupine did not appear after all. There was no other way

 but to leave the coins upon the desk and attend the class.

-

 When I returned to the room a little late after the first hour class,

 all the teachers were there at their desks, and Porcupine too was

 there. The moment Porcupine saw my face, he said that he was late on

@@ -2056,60 +1784,44 @@ desk and told him to take it. "Don't josh me," he said, and began
 laughing, but as I appeared unusually serious, he swept the coins back

 to my desk, and flung back, "Quit fooling." So he really meant to

 treat me, eh?

-

 "No fooling; I mean it," I said. "I have no reason to accept your treat,

 and that's why I pay you back. Why don't you take it?"

-

 "If you're so worried about that one sen and a half, I will take it, but

 why do you pay it at this time so suddenly?"

-

 "This time or any time, I want to pay it back. I pay it back because I

 don't like you treat me."

-

 Porcupine coldly gazed at me and ejaculated "H'm." If I had not been

 requested by Red Shirt, here was the chance to show up his cowardice and

 make it hot for him. But since I had promised not to reveal the secret,

 I could do nothing. What the deuce did he mean by "H'm" when I was red

 with anger.

-

 "I'll take the price of the ice water, but I want you leave your

 boarding house."

-

 "Take that coin; that's all there is to it. To leave or not,--that's my

 pleasure."

-

 "But that is not your pleasure. The boss of your boarding house came to

 me yesterday and wanted me to tell you leave the house, and when I heard

 his explanation, what he said was reasonable. And I dropped there on my

 way here this morning to hear more details and make sure of everything."

-

 What Porcupine was trying to get at was all dark to me.

-

 "I don't care a snap what the boss was damn well pleased to tell you," I

 cried. "What do you mean by deciding everything by yourself! If there is

 any reason, tell me first. What's the matter with you, deciding what the

 boss says is reasonable without hearing me."

-

 "Then you shall hear," he said. "You're too tough and been regarded

 a nuisance over there. Say, the wife of a boarding house is a wife,

 not a maid, and you've been such a four-flusher as to make her wipe

 your feet."

-

 "When did I make her wipe my feet?" I asked.

-

 "I don't know whether you did or did not, but anyway they're pretty sore

 about you. He said he can make ten or fifteen yen easily if he sell a

 roll of panel-picture."

-

 "Damn the chap! Why did he take me for a boarder then!"

-

 "I don't know why. They took you but they want you leave because they

 got tired of you. So you'd better get out."

-

 "Sure, I will. Who'd stay in such a house even if they beg me on their

 knees. You're insolent to have induced me to go to such a false accuser

 in the first place."

-

 "Might be either I'm insolent or you're tough." Porcupine is no less

 hot-tempered than I am, and spoke with equally loud voice. All the other

 teachers in the room, surprised, wondering what has happened, looked in

@@ -2119,7 +1831,6 @@ was laughing amused. The moment he met my glaring stare as if to say
 "You too want to fight?" he suddenly assumed a grave face and became

 serious. He seemed to be a little cowed. Meanwhile the bugle was heard,

 and Porcupine and I stopped the quarrel and went to the class rooms.

-

 In the afternoon, a meeting of the teachers was going to be held to

 discuss the question of punishment of those students in the dormitory

 who offended me the other night. This meeting was a thing I had to

@@ -2134,7 +1845,6 @@ doubting the facts. It would have been better if the principal had
 decided at once on such a plain case; he is surely wanting in decision.

 If all principals are like this, a principal is a synonym of a

 "dilly-dally."

-

 The meeting hall was a long, narrow room next to that of the principal,

 and was used for dining room. About twenty chairs, with black leather

 seat, were lined around a narrow table, and the whole scene looked like

@@ -2154,7 +1864,6 @@ can't bulldoze me with that," I thought, and rolled my own in defiance
 and stared back at him. My eyes are not well-shaped but their large size

 is seldom beaten by others. Kiyo even once suggested that I should make

 a fine actor because I had big eyes.

-

 "All now here?" asked the principal, and the clerk named Kawamura

 counted one, two, three and one was short. "Just one more," said the

 clerk, and it ought to be; Hubbard Squash was not there. I don't know

@@ -2168,7 +1877,6 @@ teacher so quiet as he. He seldom, if ever, laughs or talks. I knew the
 word "gentleman" from books, and thought it was found only in the

 dictionary, but not a thing alive. But since I met Hubbard Squash, I was

 impressed for the first time that the word represented a real substance.

-

 As he is a man so attached to me, I had noticed his absence as soon as I

 entered the meeting hall. To tell the truth, I came to the hall with the

 intention of sitting next to him. The principal said that the absentee

@@ -2180,7 +1888,6 @@ others were writing nothings upon the table with the erasers at the end
 of their pencils. Clown talked to Porcupine once in a while, but he was

 not responsive. He only said "Umh" or "Ahm," and stared at me with

 wrathful eyes. I stared back with equal ferocity.

-

 Then the tardy Hubbard Squash apologetically entered, and politely

 explained that he was unavoidably detained. "Well, then the meeting is

 called to order," said Badger. On these sheets was printed, first the

@@ -2188,7 +1895,6 @@ question of the punishment of the offending students, second that of
 superintending the students, and two or three other matters. Badger,

 putting on airs as usual, as if he was an incarnation of education,

 spoke to the following effect.

-

 "Any misdeeds or faults among the teachers or the students in this

 school are due to the lack of virtues in my person, and whenever

 anything happens, I inwardly feel ashamed that a man like me could hold

@@ -2197,7 +1903,6 @@ have to apologize from my heart. But since it has happened, it cannot be
 helped; we must settle it one way or other. The facts are as you already

 know, and I ask you gentlemen to state frankly the best means by which

 the affair may be settled."

-

 When I heard the principal speak, I was impressed that indeed the

 principal, or Badger, was saying something "grand." If the principal was

 willing to assume all responsibilities, saying it was his fault or his

@@ -2216,13 +1921,11 @@ had hopped on the roof of the nearby building. The teacher of Confucius
 was folding and unfolding the hectograph sheet. Porcupine was still

 staring at me. If a meeting was so nonsensical an affair as this, I

 would have been better absent taking a nap at home.

-

 I became irritated, and half raised myself, intending to make a

 convincing speech, but just then Red Shirt began saying something and I

 stopped. I saw him say something, having put away his pipe, and wiping

 his face with a striped silk handkerchief. I'm sure he copped that

 handkerchief from the Madonna; men should use white linen. He said:

-

 "When I heard of the rough affairs in the dormitory, I was greatly

 ashamed as the head teacher of my lack of discipline and influence. When

 such an affair takes place there is underlying cause somewhere. Looking

@@ -2236,7 +1939,6 @@ due regard as to their good or bad. As to the mode of punishment itself,
 I have no right to suggest since it is a matter entirely in the hand of

 the principal, but I should ask, considering these points, that some

 leniency be shown toward the students."

-

 Well, as Badger, so was Red Shirt. He declares the "Rough Necks" among

 the students is not their fault but the fault of the teachers. A crazy

 person beats other people because the beaten are wrong. Very grateful,

@@ -2245,7 +1947,6 @@ into the campus and let them wrestle their heads off. Who would have
 grasshoppers put into his bed unconsciously! If things go on like this,

 they may stab some one asleep, and get freed as having done the deed

 unconsciously.

-

 Having figured it out in this wise, I thought I would state my own views

 on the matter, but I wanted to give them an eloquent speech and fairly

 take away their breath. I have an affection of the windpipe which clog

@@ -2255,21 +1956,17 @@ speech-making, and it would not do to have them see my awkwardness. I'll
 make a rough note of composition first, I thought, and started mentally

 making a sentence, when, to my surprise, Clown stood up suddenly. It was

 unusual for Clown to state his opinion. He spoke in his flippant tone:

-

 "Really the grasshopper incident and the whoop-la affair are peculiar

 happenings which are enough to make us doubt our own future. We teachers

 at this time must strive to clear the atmosphere of the school. And

 what the principal and the head teacher have said just now are fit and

 proper. I entirely agree with their opinions. I wish the punishment be

 moderate."

-

 In what Clown had said there were words but no meaning. It was a

 juxtaposition of high-flown words making no sense. All that I understood

 was the words, "I entirely agree with their opinions."

-

 Clown's meaning was not clear to me, but as I was thoroughly angered, I

 rose without completing my rough note.

-

 "I am entirely opposed to......." I said, but the rest did not come at

 once. ".......I don't like such a topsy-turvy settlement," I added and

 the fellows began laughing. "The students are absolutely wrong from the

@@ -2290,12 +1987,10 @@ pack up. I had no ability of out-talking such fellows, or even if I had,
 I was in no humor to keeping their company for long. Since I don't

 expect to remain in the school, the devil may take care of the rest. If

 I said anything, they would only laugh; so I shut my mouth tight.

-

 Porcupine, who up to this time had been listening to the others, stood

 up with some show of spirit. Ha, the fellow was going to endorse the

 views of Red Shirt, eh? You and I got to fight it out anyway, I thought,

 so do any way you darn please. Porcupine spoke in a thunderous voice:

-

 "I entirely differ from the opinions of the head teacher and other

 gentlemen. Because, viewed from whatever angle, this incident cannot be

 other than an attempt by those fifty students in the dormitory to make

@@ -2319,12 +2014,10 @@ eradicate this very evil. If we mean to countenance it, we had better
 not accepted our positions here. For these reasons, I believe it proper

 to punish the students in the dormitory to the fullest extent and also

 make them apologize to that teacher in the open."

-

 All were quiet. Red Shirt again began polishing his pipe. I was greatly

 elated. He spoke almost what I had wanted to. I'm such a simple-hearted

 fellow that I forgot all about the bickerings with Porcupine, and looked

 at him with a grateful face, but he appeared to take no notice of me.

-

 After a while, Porcupine again stood up, and said. "I forgot to mention

 just now, so I wish to add. The teacher on night duty that night seems

 to have gone to the hot springs during his duty hours, and I think it a

@@ -2333,7 +2026,6 @@ being in sole charge of the school, to slip out to a hot springs. The
 bad behavior of the students is one thing; this blunder is another, and

 I wish the principal to call attention of the responsible person to

 that matter."

-

 A strange fellow! No sooner had he backed me up than he began talking me

 down. I knew the other night watch went out during his duty hours, and

 thought it was a custom, so I went as far out as to the hot springs

@@ -2343,7 +2035,6 @@ said; "I really went to the hot springs. It was wrong and I apologize."
 Then all again laughed. Whatever I say, they laugh. What a lot of boobs!

 See if you fellows can make a clean breast of your own fault like this!

 You fellows laugh because you can't talk straight.

-

 After that the principal said that since it appeared that there will be

 no more opinions, he will consider the matter well and administer what

 he may deem a proper punishment. I may here add the result of the

@@ -2360,7 +2051,6 @@ would like no teacher to go singly to eating houses of lower kind--for
 instance, noodle-house or dango shop.... And again all laughed. Clown

 looked at Porcupine, said "tempura" and winked his eyes, but Porcupine

 regarded him in silence. Good!

-

 My "think box" is not of superior quality, so things said by Badger were

 not clear to me, but I thought if a fellow can't hold the job of teacher

 in a middle school because he patronizes a noodle-house or dango shop,

@@ -2370,7 +2060,6 @@ teacher one who does not eat noodle and dango. To give an appointment
 without reference to the matter at first, and then to proclaim that

 noodle or dango should not be eaten was a blow to a fellow like me who

 has no other petty hobby. Then Red Shirt again opened his mouth.

-

 "Teachers of the middle school belong to the upper class of society and

 they should not be looking after material pleasures only, for it would

 eventually have effect upon their personal character. But we are human,

@@ -2378,7 +2067,6 @@ and it would be intolerable in a small town like this to live without
 any means of affording some pleasure to ourselves, such as fishing,

 reading literary products, composing new style poems, or haiku

 (17-syllable poem). We should seek mental consolation of higher order."

-

 There seemed no prospect that he would quit the hot air. If it was a

 mental consolation to fish fertilisers on the sea, have goruki for

 Russian literature, or to pose a favorite geisha beneath pine tree, it

@@ -2390,12 +2078,7 @@ Madonna?" No one laughed this time and looked at each other with queer
 faces, and Red Shirt himself hung his head, apparently embarrassed. Look

 at that! A good shot, eh? Only I was sorry for Hubbard Squash who,

 having heard the remark, became still paler.

-

-

-

 CHAPTER VII.

-

-

 That very night I left the boarding house. While I was packing up, the

 boss came to me and asked if there was anything wrong in the way I was

 treated. He said he would be pleased to correct it and suit me if I was

@@ -2404,7 +2087,6 @@ boneheads to be in this world! I could not tell whether they wanted me
 to stay or get out. They're crazy. It would be disgrace for a Yedo kid

 to fuss about with such a fellow; so I hired a rikishaman and speedily

 left the house.

-

 I got out of the house all right, but had no place to go. The rikishaman

 asked me where I was going. I told him to follow me with his mouth shut,

 then he shall see and I kept on walking. I thought of going to

@@ -2437,13 +2119,11 @@ couple called Hagino, living in the rear of the street, who had asked
 him sometime ago to get some boarders for them as there are only two in

 the house and they had some vacant rooms. Hubbard Squash was kind enough

 to go along with me and find out if the rooms were vacant. They were.

-

 From that night I boarded at the house of the Haginos. What surprised me

 was that on the day after I left the house of Ikagin, Clown stepped in

 and took the room I had been occupying. Well used to all sorts of tricks

 and crooks as I might have been, this audacity fairly knocked me off my

 feet. It was sickening.

-

 I saw that I would be an easy mark for such people unless I brace up

 and try to come up, or down, to their level. It would be a high time

 indeed for me to be alive if it were settled that I would not get three

@@ -2469,7 +2149,6 @@ samurai class, unlike the Ikagin couple, were both refined. The old
 man's recital of "utai" in a queer voice at night was somewhat telling

 on my nerves, but it was much easier on me as he did not frequent my

 room like Ikagin with the remark of "let me serve you tea."

-

 The old lady once in a while would come to my room and chat on many

 things. She questioned me why I had not brought my wife with me. I asked

 her if I looked like one married, reminding her that I was only twenty

@@ -2479,89 +2158,56 @@ Mr. So-and-So has already two children at twenty two, and marshalled
 altogether about half a dozen examples,--quite a damper on my youthful

 theory. I will then get marred at twenty four, I said, and requested her

 to find me a good wife, and she asked me if I really meant it.

-

 "Really? You bet! I can't help wanting to get married."

-

 "I should suppose so. Everybody is just like that when young." This

 remark was a knocker; I could not say anything to that.

-

 "But I'm sure you have a Madam already. I have seen to that with my

 own eyes."

-

 "Well, they are sharp eyes. How have you seen it?"

-

 "How? Aren't you often worried to death, asking if there's no letter

 from Tokyo?"

-

 "By Jupiter! This beats me!"

-

 "Hit the mark, haven't I?"

-

 "Well, you probably have."

-

 "But the girls of these days are different from what they used to be and

 you need a sharp look-out on them. So you'd better be careful."

-

 "Do you mean that my Madam in Tokyo is behaving badly?"

-

 "No, your Madam is all right."

-

 "That makes me feel safe. Then about what shall I be careful?"

-

 "Yours is all right. Though yours is all right......."

-

 "Where is one not all right?"

-

 "Rather many right in this town. You know the daughter of the Toyamas?

-

 "No, I do not."

-

 "You don't know her yet? She is the most beautiful girl about here. She

 is so beautiful that the teachers in the school call her Madonna. You

 haven't heard that?

-

 "Ah, the Madonna! I thought it was the name of a geisha."

-

 "No, Sir. Madonna is a foreign word and means a beautiful girl,

 doesn't it?"

-

 "That may be. I'm surprised."

-

 "Probably the name was given by the teacher of drawing."

-

 "Was it the work of Clown?"

-

 "No, it was given by Professor Yoshikawa."

-

 "Is that Madonna not all right?"

-

 "That Madonna-san is a Madonna not all right."

-

 "What a bore! We haven't any decent woman among those with nicknames

 from old days. I should suppose the Madonna is not all right."

-

 "Exactly. We have had awful women such as O-Matsu the Devil or Ohyaku

 the Dakki.

-

 "Does the Madonna belong to that ring?"

-

 "That Madonna-san, you know, was engaged to Professor Koga,--who brought

 you here,--yes, was promised to him."

-

 "Ha, how strange! I never knew our friend Hubbard Squash was a fellow of

 such gallantry. We can't judge a man by his appearance. I'll be a bit

 more careful."

-

 "The father of Professor Koga died last year,--up to that time they had

 money and shares in a bank and were well off,--but since then things

 have grown worse, I don't know why. Professor Koga was too good-natured,

 in short, and was cheated, I presume. The wedding was delayed by one

 thing or another and there appeared the head teacher who fell in love

 with the Madonna head over heels and wanted to many her."

-

 "Red Shirt? He ought be hanged. I thought that shirt was not an ordinary

 kind of shirt. Well?"

-

 "The head-teacher proposed marriage through a go-between, but the

 Toyamas could not give a definite answer at once on account of their

 relations with the Kogas. They replied that they would consider the

@@ -2571,10 +2217,8 @@ Miss. Red Shirt-san is bad, but so is Miss Toyama; they all talk bad of
 them. She had agreed to be married to Professor Koga and changed her

 mind because a Bachelor of Arts began courting her,--why, that would be

 an offense to the God of To-day."

-

 "Of course. Not only of To-day but also of tomorrow and the day after;

 in fact, of time without end."

-

 "So Hotta-san a friend of Koga-san, felt sorry for him and went to the

 head teacher to remonstrate with him. But Red Shirt-san said that he had

 no intention of taking away anybody who is promised to another. He may

@@ -2582,12 +2226,9 @@ get married if the engagement is broken, he said, but at present he was
 only being acquainted with the Toyamas and he saw nothing wrong in his

 visiting the Toyamas. Hotta-san couldn't do anything and returned. Since

 then they say Red Shirt-san and Hotta-san are on bad terms."

-

 "You do know many things, I should say. How did you get such details?

 I'm much impressed."

-

 "The town is so small that I can know everything."

-

 Yes, everything seems to be known more than one cares. Judging by her

 way, this woman probably knows about my tempura and dango affairs. Here

 was a pot that would make peas rattle! The meaning of the Madonna, the

@@ -2595,24 +2236,16 @@ relations between Porcupine and Red Shirt became clear and helped me a
 deal. Only what puzzled me was the uncertainty as to which of the two

 was wrong. A fellow simple-hearted like me could not tell which side he

 should help unless the matter was presented in black and white.

-

 "Of Red Shirt and Porcupine, which is a better fellow?"

-

 "What is Porcupine, Sir?"

-

 "Porcupine means Hotta."

-

 "Well, Hotta-san is physically strong, as strength goes, but Red

 Shirt-san is a Bachelor of Arts and has more ability. And Red Shirt-san

 is more gentle, as gentleness goes, but Hotta-san is more popular among

 the students."

-

 "After all, which is better?"

-

 "After all, the one who gets a bigger salary is greater, I suppose?"

-

 There was no use of going on further in this way, and I closed the talk.

-

 Two or three days after this, when I returned from the school, the old

 lady with a beaming smile, brought me a letter, saying, "Here you are

 Sir, at last. Take your time and enjoy it." I took it up and found it

@@ -2621,7 +2254,6 @@ by these I saw the letter was sent from Yamashiro-ya to the Iagins, then
 to the Haginos. Besides, it stayed at Yamashiro-ya for about one week;

 even letters seemed to stop in a hotel. I opened it, and it was a very

 long letter.

-

 "When I received the letter from my Master Darling, I intended to write

 an answer at once. But I caught cold and was sick abed for about one

 week and the answer was delayed for which I beg your pardon. I am not

@@ -2633,7 +2265,6 @@ myself. So I made a rough copy once, and then a clean copy. I finished
 the clean copy, in two days, but the rough copy took me four days. It

 may be difficult for you to read, but as I have written this letter with

 all my might, please read it to the end."

-

 This was the introductory part of the letter in which, about four feet

 long, were written a hundred and one things. Well, it was difficult to

 read. Not only was it poorly written but it was a sort of juxtaposition

@@ -2649,7 +2280,6 @@ The early autumn breeze wafted through the leaves of the banana trees,
 bathed me with cool evening air, rustled the letter I was holding and

 would have blown it clear to the hedge if I let it go. I did not mind

 anything like this, but kept on reading.

-

 "Master Darling is simple and straight like a split bamboo by

 disposition," it says, "only too explosive. That's what worries me. If

 you brand other people with nicknames you will only make enemies of

@@ -2666,15 +2296,11 @@ sending you ten yen by postal money order. I have that fifty yen my
 Master Darling gave me deposited in the Postal Savings to help you start

 housekeeping when you return to Tokyo, and taking out this ten, I have

 still forty yen left,--quite safe."

-

 I should say women are very particular on many things.

-

 When I was meditating with the letter flapping in my hand on the porch,

 the old lady opened the sliding partition and brought in my supper.

-

 "Still poring over the letter? Must be a very long one, I

 imagine," she said.

-

 "Yes, this is an important letter, so I'm reading it with the wind

 blowing it about," I replied--the reply which was nonsense even for

 myself,--and I sat down for supper. I looked in the dish on the tray,

@@ -2697,7 +2323,6 @@ potatoes, then took out two raw eggs from the drawer of my desk, broke
 them on the edge of the rice bowl, to tide it over. I have to get

 nourishment by eating raw eggs or something, or how can I stand the

 teaching of twenty one hours a week?

-

 I was late for my bath to-day on account of the letter from Kiyo. But I

 would not like to drop off a single day since I had been there everyday.

 I thought I would take a train to-day, and coming to the station with

@@ -2711,13 +2336,10 @@ more than that. I was wishing to get his salary doubled, if possible,
 and have him marry Miss Toyama and send them to Tokyo for about one

 month on a pleasure trip. Seeing him, therefore, I motioned him to a

 seat beside me, addressing him cheerfully:

-

 "Hello[H], going to bath? Come and sit down here."

-

 Hubbard Squash, appearing much awe-struck, said; "Don't mind me,

 Sir," and whether out of polite reluctance or I don't know what,

 remained standing.

-

 "You have to wait for a little while before the next train starts; sit

 down; you'll be tired," I persuaded him again. In fact, I was so

 sympathetic for him that I wished to have him sit down by me somehow.

@@ -2734,17 +2356,11 @@ Madonna to cast off such a splendid fellow and give preference to Red
 Shirt, was frivolous beyond my understanding. Put how many dozens of

 Red Shirt you like together, it will not make one husband of stuff to

 beat Hubbard Squash.

-

 "Is anything wrong with you? You look quite fatigued," I asked.

-

 "No, I have no particular ailments......."

-

 "That's good. Poor health is the worst thing one can get."

-

 "You appear very strong."

-

 "Yes, I'm thin, but never got sick. That's something I don't like."

-

 Hubbard Squash smiled at my words. Just then I heard some young girlish

 laughs at the entrance, and incidentally looking that way, I saw a

 "peach." A beautiful girl, tall, white-skinned, with her head done up

@@ -2760,7 +2376,6 @@ suddenly get up and start walking slowly toward them. I wondered if she
 was not the Madonna. The three were courtesying in front of the ticket

 window, some distance away from me, and I could not hear what they were

 talking about.

-

 The clock at the station showed the next train to start in five

 minutes. Having lost my partner, I became impatient and longed for the

 train to start as soon as possible, when a fellow rushed into the

@@ -2772,17 +2387,14 @@ Shirt stopped short, stared around, and then after bowing politely to
 the three still in front of the ticket window, made a remark or two,

 and hastily turned toward me. He came up to me, walking in his usual

 cat's style, and hallooed.

-

 "You too going to bath? I was afraid of missing the train and

 hurried up, but we have three or four minutes yet. Wonder if that

 clock is right?"

-

 He took out his gold watch, and remarking it wrong about two minutes sat

 down beside me. He never turned toward the belle, but with his chin on

 the top of a cane, steadily looked straight before him. The older woman

 would occasionally glance toward Red Shirt, but the younger kept her

 profile away. Surely she was the Madonna.

-

 The train now arrived with a shrill whistle and the passengers hastened

 to board. Red Shirt jumped into the first class coach ahead of all. One

 cannot brag much about boarding the first class coach here. It cost only

@@ -2796,7 +2408,6 @@ class coach and appeared somewhat hesitating, but seeing me coming, took
 decisive steps and jumped into the second. I felt sorry for him--I do

 not know why--and followed him into the same coach. Nothing wrong in

 riding on the second with a ticket for the first, I believe.

-

 At the hot springs, going down from the third floor to the bath room in

 bathing gown, again I met Hubbard Squash. I feel my throat clogged up

 and unable to speak at a formal gathering, but otherwise I am rather

@@ -2806,7 +2417,6 @@ of a Yedo kid to console him to the best of my ability. But Hubbard
 Squash was not responsive. Whatever I said, he would only answer "eh?"

 or "umh," and even these with evident effort. Finally I gave up my

 sympathetic attempt and cut off the conversation.

-

 I did not meet Red Shirt at the bath. There are many bath rooms, and one

 does not necessarily meet the fellows at the same bath room though he

 might come on the same train. I thought it nothing strange. When I got

@@ -2823,7 +2433,6 @@ entrance, near the gate, is the place where I ate dango and committed
 the blunder. A round lantern with the signs of sweet meats hung outside

 and its light fell on the trunk of a willow tree close by. I hungered to

 have a bite of dango, but went away forbearing.

-

 To be unable to eat dango one is so fond of eating, is tragic. But to

 have one's betrothed change her love to another, would be more tragic.

 When I think of Hubbard Squash, I believe that I should, not complain if

@@ -2844,10 +2453,8 @@ room. Viewed from any angle, man is unreliable. If I write these things
 to Kiyo, it would surprise her. She would perhaps say that because it is

 the west side of Hakone that the town had all the freaks and crooks

 dumped in together.[7]

-

 [Footnote 7: An old saying goes that east of the Hakone pass, there are

 no apparitions or freaks.]

-

 I do not by nature worry about little things, and had come so far

 without minding anything. But hardly a month had passed since I came

 here, and I have begun to regard the world quite uneasily. I have not

@@ -2858,7 +2465,6 @@ matters, I had passed the stone bridge and come up to the levy of the
 Nozeri river. The word river sounds too big; it is a shallow stream of

 about six feet wide. If one goes on along the levy for about twelve

 blocks, he reaches the Aioi village where there is a temple of Kwanon.

-

 Looking back at the town of the hot springs, I see red lights gleaming

 amid the pale moon beams. Where the sound of the drum is heard must be

 the tenderloin. The stream is shallow but fast, whispering incessantly.

@@ -2867,7 +2473,6 @@ I perceived a shadow ahead. Through the light of the moon, I found
 there were two shadows. They were probably village youngsters returning

 from the hot springs, though they did not sing, and were exceptionally

 quiet for that.

-

 I kept on walking, and I was faster than they. The two shadows became

 larger. One appeared like a woman. When I neared them within about sixty

 feet, the man, on hearing my footsteps, turned back. The moon was

@@ -2880,16 +2485,10 @@ turning back gazed squarely into the face of the man. The moon
 generously bathed my face with its beaming light. The fellow uttered a

 low "ah," and suddenly turning sideway, said to the woman "Let's go

 back." They traced their way back toward the hot springs town.

-

 Was it the intention of Red Shirt to hush the matter up by pretending

 ignorance, or was it lack of nerve? I was not the only fellow who

 suffered the consequence of living in a small narrow town.

-

-

-

 CHAPTER VIII.

-

-

 On my way back from the fishing to which I was invited by Red Shirt, and

 since then, I began to suspect Porcupine. When the latter wanted me to

 get out of Ikagin's house on sham pretexts, I regarded him a decidedly

@@ -2920,14 +2519,12 @@ the feline voice of Red Shirt. To tell the truth, I tried to get
 reconciled with Porcupine, and after the meeting, spoke a word or two to

 him, but he shut up like a clam and kept glaring at me. So I became

 sore, and let it go at that.

-

 Porcupine has not spoken to me since. The one sen and a half which I

 paid him back upon the desk, is still there, well covered with dust. I

 could not touch it, nor would Porcupine take it. This one sen and a

 half has become a barrier between us two. We two were cursed with this

 one sen and a half. Later indeed I got sick of its sight that I hated

 to see it.

-

 While Porcupine and I were thus estranged, Red Shirt and I continued

 friendly relations and associated together. On the day following my

 accidental meeting with him near the Nozeri river, for instance, Red

@@ -2939,7 +2536,6 @@ at the station. Do you go there at that time every day? Isn't it late?"
 I startled him with the remark; "I met you on the levy of the Nozeri

 river too, didn't I?" and he replied, "No, I didn't go in that

 direction. I returned right after my bath."

-

 What is the use of trying to keep it dark. Didn't we meet actually face

 to face? He tells too many lies. If one can hold the job of a head

 teacher and act in this fashion, I should be able to run the position of

@@ -2947,7 +2543,6 @@ Chancellor of a university. From this time on, my confidence in Red
 Shirt became still less. I talk with Red Shirt whom I do not trust, and

 I keep silent with Porcupine whom I respect. Funny things do happen in

 this world.

-

 One day Red Shirt asked me to come over to his house as he had something

 to tell me, and much as I missed the trip to the hot springs, I started

 for his house at about 4 o'clock. Red Shirt is single, but in keeping

@@ -2960,70 +2555,47 @@ her heart glad. The younger brother of Red Shirt answered my bell. This
 brother gets his lessons on algebra and mathematics from me at the

 school. He stands no show in his school work, and being a "migratory

 bird" is more wicked than the native boys.

-

 I met Red Shirt. Smoking the same old unsavory amber pipe, he said

 something to the following effect:

-

 "Since you've been with us, our work has been more satisfactory than it

 was under your predecessor, and the principal is very glad to have got

 the right person in the right place. I wish you to work as hard as you

 can, for the school is depending upon you."

-

 "Well, is that so. I don't think I can work any harder than now......."

-

 "What you're doing now is enough. Only don't forget what I told you the

 other day."

-

 "Meaning that one who helps me find a boarding house is dangerous?"

-

 "If you state it so baldly, there is no meaning to it....... But that's

 all right,...... I believe you understand the spirit of my advice. And

 if you keep on in the way you're going to-day ...... We have not been

 blind ...... we might offer you a better treatment later on if we can

 manage it."

-

 "In salary? I don't care about the salary, though the more the better."

-

 "And fortunately there is going to be one teacher transferred,......

 however, I can't guarantee, of course, until I talk it over with the

 principal ...... and we might give you something out of his salary."

-

 "Thank you. Who is going to be transferred?"

-

 "I think I may tell you now; 'tis going to be Announced soon. Koga

 is the man."

-

 "But isn't Koga-san a native of this town?"

-

 "Yes, he is. But there are some circumstances ...... and it is partly by

 his own preference."

-

 "Where is he going?"

-

 "To Nobeoka in Hiuga province. As the place is so far away, he is going

 there with his salary raised a grade higher."

-

 "Is some one coming to take his place?"

-

 "His successor is almost decided upon."

-

 "Well, that's fine, though I'm not very anxious to have my salary

 raised."

-

 "I'm going to talk to the principal about that anyway. And, we may have

 to ask you to work more some time later ...... and the principal appears

 to be of the same opinion....... I want you to go[I] ahead with that in

 your mind."

-

 "Going to increase my working hours?"

-

 "No. The working hours may be reduced......"

-

 "The working hours shortened and yet work more? Sounds funny."

-

 "It does sound funny ...... I can't say definitely just yet ...... it

 means that we way have to ask you to assume more responsibility."

-

 I could not make out what he meant. To assume more responsibility might

 mean my appointment to the senior instructor of mathematics, but

 Porcupine is the senior instructor and there is no danger of his

@@ -3038,14 +2610,10 @@ is where I beat it, I thought, and, saying "No, I don't, good by,"
 hastily left the house. The "haiku" should be a diversion of Baseo[9] or

 the boss of a barbershop. It would not do for the teacher of mathematics

 to rave over the old wooden bucket and the morning glory.[10]

-

 [Footnote 8: The 17-syllable poem]

-

 [Footnote 9: A famous composer of the poem.]

-

 [Footnote 10: There is a well-known 17-syllable poem describing the

 scene of morning glories entwining around the wooden bucket.]

-

 I returned home and thought it over. Here is a man whose mental process

 defies a layman's understanding. He is going to court hardships in a

 strange part of the country in preference of his home and the school

@@ -3062,44 +2630,29 @@ alone does not commend itself as civilized. It sounds like a town
 inhabited by men and monkeys in equal numbers. However sage-like Hubbard

 Squash might be I thought he would not become a friend of monkeys of his

 own choice. What a curious slant!

-

 Just then the old lady brought in my supper--"Sweet potatoes again?" I

 asked, and she said, "No, Sir, it is tofu to-night." They are about the

 same thing.

-

 "Say, I understand Koga-san is going to Nobeoka."

-

 "Isn't it too bad?"

-

 "Too bad? But it can't be helped if he goes there by his own

 preference."

-

 "Going there by his own preference? Who, Sir?"

-

 "Who? Why, he! Isn't Professor Koga going there by his own choice?"

-

 "That's wrong Mr. Wright, Sir."

-

 "Ha, Mr. Wright, is it? But Red Shirt told me so just now. If that's

 wrong Mr. Wright, then Red Shirt is blustering Mr. Bluff."

-

 "What the head-teacher says is believable, but so Koga-san does not

 wish to go."

-

 "Our old lady is impartial, and that is good. Well, what's the matter?"

-

 "The mother of Koga-san was here this morning, and told me all the

 circumstances."

-

 "Told you what circumstances?"

-

 "Since the father of Koga-san died, they have not been quite well off as

 we might have supposed, and the mother asked the principal if his salary

 could not be raised a little as Koga-san has been in service for four

 years. See?"

-

 "Well?"

-

 "The principal said that he would consider the matter, and she felt

 satisfied and expected the announcement of the increase before long. She

 hoped for its coming this month or next. Then the principal called

@@ -3108,45 +2661,33 @@ was short of money and could not raise his salary. But he said there is
 an opening in Nobeoka which would give him five yen extra a month and he

 thought that would suit his purpose, and the principal had made all

 arrangements and told Koga-san he had better go......."

-

 "That wasn't a friendly talk but a command. Wasn't it?"

-

 "Yes, Sir, Koga-san told the principal that he liked to stay here better

 at the old salary than go elsewhere on an increased salary, because he

 has his own house and is living with his mother. But the matter has all

 been settled, and his successor already appointed and it couldn't be

 helped, said the principal."

-

 "Hum, that's a jolly good trick, I should say. Then Koga-san has no

 liking to go there? No wonder I thought it strange. We would have to go

 a long way to find any blockhead to do a job in such a mountain village

 and get acquainted with monkeys for five yen extra."

-

 "What is a blockhead, Sir?"

-

 "Well, let go at that. It was all the scheme of Red Shirt. Deucedly

 underhand scheme, I declare. It was a stab from behind. And he means to

 raise my salary by that; that's not right. I wouldn't take that raise.

 Let's see if he can raise it."

-

 "Is your salary going to be raised, Sir?"

-

 "Yes, they said they would raise mine, but I'm thinking of refusing it."

-

 "Why do you refuse?"

-

 "Why or no why, it's going to be refused. Say, Red Shirt is a fool; he

 is a coward."

-

 "He may be a coward, but if he raises your salary, it would be best for

 you to make no fuss, but accept it. One is apt to get grouchy when

 young, but will always repent when he is grown up and thinks that it was

 pity he hadn't been a little more patient. Take an old woman's advice

 for once, and if Red Shirt-san says he will raise your salary, just take

 it with thanks."

-

 "It's none of business of you old people."

-

 The old lady withdrew in silence. The old man is heard singing "utai" in

 the off-key voice. "Utai," I think, is a stunt which purposely makes a

 whole show a hard nut to crack by giving to it difficult tunes, whereas

@@ -3162,9 +2703,7 @@ the fellow prefers to remain in his old position? Even
 Dazai-no-Gonnosutsu did not have to go farther than about Hakata; even

 Matagoro Kawai [11] stopped at Sagara. I shall not feel satisfied unless

 I see Red Shirt and tell him I refuse the raise.

-

 [Footnote 11: The persons in exile, well-known in Japanese history.]

-

 I dressed again and went to his house. The same younger brother of Red

 Shirt again answered the bell, and looked at me with eyes which plainly

 said, "You here again?" I will come twice or thrice or as many times as

@@ -3177,50 +2716,35 @@ about my feet, I found a pair of thin, matted wooden clogs, and I heard
 some one in the house saying, "Now we're banzai." I noticed that the

 visitor was Clown. Nobody but Clown could make such a squeaking voice

 and wear such clogs as are worn by cheap actors.

-

 After a while Red Shirt appeared at the door with a lamp in his hand,

 and said, "Come in; it's no other than Mr. Yoshikawa."

-

 "This is good enough," I said, "it won't take long." I looked at his

 face which was the color of a boiled lobster. He seemed to have been

 drinking with Clown.

-

 "You told me that you would raise my salary, but I've changed my mind,

 and have come here to decline the offer."

-

 Red Shirt, thrusting out the lamp forward, and intently staring at me,

 was unable to answer at the moment. He appeared blank. Did he think it

 strange that here was one fellow, only one in the world, who does not

 want his salary raised, or was he taken aback that I should come back so

 soon even if I wished to decline it, or was it both combined, he stood

 there silent with his mouth in a queer shape.

-

 "I accepted your offer because I understood that Mr. Koga was being

 transferred by his own preference......."

-

 "Mr. Koga is really going to be transferred by his own preference."

-

 "No, Sir. He would like to stay here. He doesn't mind his present salary

 if he can stay."

-

 "Have you heard it from Mr. Koga himself?"

-

 "No, not from him."

-

 "Then, from who?"

-

 "The old lady in my boarding house told me what she heard from the

 mother of Mr. Koga."

-

 "Then the old woman in your boarding house told you so?"

-

 "Well, that's about the size of it."

-

 "Excuse me, but I think you are wrong. According to what you say, it

 seems as if you believe what the old woman in the boarding house tells

 you, but would not believe what your head teacher tells you. Am I right

 to understand it that way?"

-

 I was stuck. A Bachelor of Arts is confoundedly good in oratorical

 combat. He gets hold of unexpected point, and pushes the other backward.

 My father used to tell me that I am too careless and no good, and now

@@ -3229,34 +2753,25 @@ when I heard the story from the old lady, and in fact I had not heard
 the story from either Hubbard Squash or his mother. In consequence, when

 I was challenged in this Bachelor-of-Arts fashion, it was a bit

 difficult to defend myself.

-

 I could not defend his frontal attack, but I had already declared in my

 mind a lack of confidence on Red Shirt. The old lady in the boarding

 house may be tight and a grabber, I do not doubt it, but she is a woman

 who tells no lie. She is not double faced like Red Shirt, I was

 helpless, so I answered.

-

 "What you say might be right,--anyway, I decline the raise."

-

 "That's still funnier. I thought your coming here now was because you

 had found a certain reason for which you could not accept the raise.

 Then it is hard to understand to see you still insisting on declining

 the raise in spite of the reason having been eradicated by my

 explanation."

-

 "It may be hard to understand, but anyway I don't want it."

-

 "If you don't like it so much, I wouldn't force it on you. But if you

 change your mind within two or three hours with no particular reason, it

 would affect your credit in future."

-

 "I don't care if it does affect it."

-

 "That can't be. Nothing is more important than credit for us. Supposing,

 the boss of the boarding house......."

-

 "Not the boss, but the old lady."

-

 "Makes no difference,--suppose what the old woman in the boarding house

 told you was true, the raise of your salary is not to be had by reducing

 the income of Mr. Koga, is it? Mr. Koga is going to Nobeoka; his

@@ -3266,7 +2781,6 @@ need not be shy. Mr. Koga will be promoted; the successor is to start on
 less pay, and if you could be raised, I think everything be satisfactory

 to all concerned. If you don't like it, that's all right, but suppose

 you think it over once more at home?"

-

 My brain is not of the best stuff, and if another fellow flourishes his

 eloquence like this, I usually think, "Well, perhaps I was wrong," and

 consider myself defeated, but not so to-night. From the time I came to

@@ -3284,19 +2798,12 @@ reasoning can command admiration, loansharks, police officers or college
 professors should be liked best by all. I cannot be moved in the least

 by the logic by so insignificant a fellow as the head teacher of a

 middle school. Man works by preference, not by logic.

-

 "What you say is right, but I have begun to dislike the raise, so I

 decline. It will be the same if I think it over. Good by." And I left

 the house of Red Shirt. The solitary milky way hung high in the sky.

-

-

-

 CHAPTER IX.

-

-

 When I went to the school, in the morning of the day the farewell dinner

 party was to be held, Porcupine suddenly spoke to me;

-

 "The other day I asked you to quit the Ikagins because Ikagin begged of

 me to have you leave there as you were too tough, and I believed him.

 But I heard afterward that Ikagin is a crook and often passes imitation

@@ -3305,51 +2812,36 @@ be a lie. He tried to sell pictures and curios to you, but as you shook
 him off, he told some false stories on you. I did very wrong by you

 because I did not know his character, and wish you would forgive me."

 And he offered me a lengthy apology.

-

 Without saying a word, I took up the one sen and a half which was lying

 on the desk of Porcupine, and put it into my purse. He asked me in a

 wondering tone, if I meant to take it back. I explained, "Yes. I didn't

 like to have you treat me and expected to pay this back at all hazard,

 but as I think about it, I would rather have you treated me after all;

 so I'm going to take it back."

-

 Porcupine laughed heartily and asked me why I had not taken it back

 sooner. I told him that I wanted to more than once, in fact, but somehow

 felt shy and left it there. I was sick of that one sen and a half these

 days that I shunned the sight of it when I came to the school, I said.

 He said "You're a deucedly unyielding sport," and I answered "You're

 obstinate." Then ensued the following give-and-take between us two;

-

 "Where were you born anyway?"

-

 "I'm a Yedo kid."

-

 "Ah, a Yedo kid, eh? No wonder I thought you a pretty stiff neck."

-

 "And you?"

-

 "I'm from Aizu."

-

 "Ha, Aizu guy, eh? You've got reason to be obstinate. Going to the

 farewell dinner to-day?"

-

 "Sure. You?"

-

 "Of course I am. I intend to go down to the beach to see Koga-san off

 when he leaves."

-

 "The farewell dinner should be a big blow-out. You come and see. I'm

 going to get soused to the neck."

-

 "You get loaded all you want. I quit the place right after I finish my

 plates. Only fools fight booze."

-

 "You're a fellow who picks up a fight too easy. It shows up the

 characteristic of the Yedo kid well."

-

 "I don't care. Say, before you go to the farewell dinner, come to see

 me. I want to tell you something."

-

 Porcupine came to my room as promised. I had been in full sympathy with

 Hubbard Squash these days, and when it came to his farewell dinner, my

 pity for him welled up so much that I wished I could go to Nobeoka for

@@ -3359,7 +2851,6 @@ like that of the excited spieler of New York would not become the place.
 I planned to take the breath out of Red Shirt by employing Porcupine who

 has a thunderous voice. Hence my invitation to him before we started for

 the party.

-

 I commenced by explaining the Madonna affair, but Porcupine, needless to

 say, knew more about it than I. Telling about my meeting Red Shirt on

 the Nozeri river, I called him a fool. Porcupine then said; "You call

@@ -3369,7 +2860,6 @@ with Red Shirt. "Then Red Shirt may be a four-flusher," I said and he
 approved this new alias with enthusiasm. Porcupine is physically strong,

 but when it comes to such terms, he knows less than I do. I guess all

 Aizu guys are about the same.

-

 Then, when I disclosed to him about the raise of my salary and the

 advance hint on my promotion by Red Shirt, Porcupine pished, and said,

 "Then he means to discharge me." "Means to discharge you? But you mean

@@ -3380,7 +2870,6 @@ answered that he had not thought so far yet. Yes, Porcupine looks
 strong, but seems to be possessed of no abundance of brain power. I told

 him about my refusal of the raise of my salary, and the Gov'nur was much

 pleased, praising me with the remark, "That's the stuff for Yedo kids."

-

 "If Hubbard Squash does not like to go down to Nobeoka, why didn't you

 do something to enable him remain here," I asked, and Porcupine said

 that when he heard the story from Hubbard Squash, everything had been

@@ -3393,20 +2882,16 @@ transfer, it would have been better for him. But he was fooled by the
 oily tongue of Red Shirt, had accepted the transfer outright, and all

 efforts by Porcupine who was moved by the tearful appeal of the mother,

 proved unavailing.

-

 I said; "The transfer of Koga is nothing but a trick of Red Shirt to cop

 the Madonna by sending Hubbard Squash away."

-

 "Yes," said Porcupine "That must be. Red Shirt looks gentle, but plays

 nasty tricks. He is a sonovagun for when some one finds fault with him,

 he has excuses prepared already. Nothing but a sound thumping will be

 effective for fellows like him."

-

 He rolled up his sleeves over his plump arms as he spoke. I asked him,

 by the way, if he knew jiujitsu, because his arms looked powerful. Then

 he put force in his forearm, and told me to touch it. I felt its swelled

 muscle which was hard as the pumic stone in the public bathhouse.

-

 I was deeply impressed by his massive strength, and asked him if he

 could not knock five or six of Red Shirt in a bunch. "Of course," he

 said, and as he extended and bent back the arm, the lumpy muscle rolled

@@ -3416,24 +2901,19 @@ would snap a paper-string wound around it twice. I said I might do the
 same thing if it were a paper-string, and he challenged me. "No, you

 can't," he said. "See if you can." As it would not look well if I

 failed, I did not try.

-

 "Say, after you have drunk all you want to-night at the dinner, take a

 fall out of Red Shirt and Clown, eh?" I suggested to him for fun.

 Porcupine thought for a moment and said, "Not to-night, I guess." I

 wanted to know why, and he pointed out that it would be bad for Koga.

-

 "Besides, if I'm going to give it to them at all, I've to get them red

 handed in their dirty scheme, or all the blame will be on me," he added

 discretely. Even Porcupine seems to have wiser judgment than I.

-

 "Then make a speech and praise Mr. Koga sky-high. My speech becomes sort

 of jumpy, wanting dignity. And at any formal gathering, I get lumpy in

 my throat, and can't speak. So I leave it to you," I said.

-

 "That's a strange disease. Then you can't speak in the presence of other

 people? It would be awkward, I suppose," he said, and I told him not

 quite as much awkward as he might think.

-

 About then, the time for the farewell dinner party arrived, and I went

 to the hall with Porcupine. The dinner party was to be held at

 Kashin-tei which is said to be the leading restaurant in the town, but I

@@ -3442,7 +2922,6 @@ formerly the private residence of the chief retainer of the daimyo of
 the province, and its condition seemed to confirm the story. The

 residence of a chief retainer transformed into a restaurant was like

 making a saucepan out of warrior's armor.

-

 When we two came there, about all of the guests were present. They

 formed two or three groups in the spacious room of fifty mats. The

 alcove in this room, in harmony with its magnificence, was very large.

@@ -3463,7 +2942,6 @@ enquired of the teacher of Confucius why such a poor work be hung in
 apparent show of pride. He explained that it was written by Kaioku a

 famous artist in the writing, but Kaioku or anyone else, I still declare

 the work poorly done.

-

 By and by, Kawamura, the clerk, requested all to be seated. I chose one

 in front of a pillar so I could lean against it. Badger sat in front of

 the panel of Kaioku in Japanese full dress. On his left sat Red Shirt

@@ -3489,11 +2967,9 @@ the first time would be sure to be misled. Probably he won the Madonna
 by this same trick. While Red Shirt was uttering his farewell buncomb,

 Porcupine who sat on the other side across me, winked at me. As an

 answer of this, I "snooked" at him.

-

 No sooner had Red Shirt sat down than Porcupine stood up, and highly

 rejoiced, I clapped hands. At this Badger and others glanced at me, and

 I felt that I blushed a little.

-

 "Our principal and other gentlemen," he said, "particularly the head

 teacher, expressed their sincere regret at Mr. Koga's transfer. I am of

 a different opinion, and hope to see him leave the town at the earliest

@@ -3511,21 +2987,18 @@ that when he is settled down at Nobeoka, he will find a lady qualified
 to become his wife, and form a sweet home at an early date and

 incidentally let the inconstant, unchaste sassy old wench die ashamed

 ...... a'hum, a'hum!"

-

 He coughed twice significantly and sat down. I thought of clapping my

 hands again, but as it would draw attention, I refrained. When

 Porcupine finished his speech, Hubbard Squash arose politely, slipped

 out of his seat, went to the furthest end of the room, and having bowed

 to all in a most respectful manner, acknowledged the compliments in the

 following way;

-

 "On the occasion of my going to Kyushu for my personal convenience, I am

 deeply impressed and appreciate the way my friends have honored me with

 this magnificent dinner....... The farewell addresses by our principal

 and other gentlemen will be long held in my fondest recollection.......

 I am going far away now, but I hope my name be included in the future as

 in the past in the list of friends of the gentlemen here to-night."

-

 Then again bowing, he returned to his seat. There was no telling how far

 the "good-naturedness" of Hubbard Squash might go. He had respectfully

 thanked the principal and the head teacher who had been fooling him. And

@@ -3534,7 +3007,6 @@ tone and face, he appeared to have been really grateful from his heart.
 Badger and Red Shirt should have blushed when they were addressed so

 seriously by so good a man as Hubbard Squash, but they only listened

 with long faces.

-

 After the exchange of addresses, a sizzling sound was heard here and

 there, and I too tried the soup which tasted like anything but soup.

 There was kamaboko in the kuchitori dish, but instead of being snow

@@ -3543,80 +3015,59 @@ cooked chikuwa. The sliced tunny was there, but not having been sliced
 fine, passed the throat like so many pieces of chopped raw tunny. Those

 around me, however, ate with ravenous appetite. They have not tasted, I

 guess, the real Yedo dinner.

-

 Meanwhile the bottles began passing round, and all became more or less

 "jacked up." Clown proceeded to the front of the principal and

 submissively drank to his health. A beastly fellow, this! Hubbard Squash

 made a round of all the guests, drinking to their health. A very onerous

 job, indeed. When he came to me and proposed my health, I abandoned the

 squatting posture and sat up straight.

-

 "Too bad to see you go away so soon. When are you going? I want to see

 you off at the beach," I said.

-

 "Thank you, Sir. But never mind that. You're busy," he declined. He

 might decline, but I was determined to get excused for the day and give

 him a rousing send-off.

-

 Within about an hour from this, the room became pretty lively.

-

 "Hey, have another, hic; ain't goin', hic, have one on me?" One or two

 already in a pickled state appeared on the scene. I was little tired,

 and going out to the porch, was looking at the old fashioned garden by

 the dim star light, when Porcupine came.

-

 "How did you like my speech? Wasn't it grand, though!" he remarked in a

 highly elated tone. I protested that while I approved 99 per cent, of

 his speech, there was one per cent, that I did not. "What's that one per

 cent?" he asked.

-

 "Well, you said,...... there is not a single high-collared guy who with

 smooth face entraps innocent people......."

-

 "Yes."

-

 "A 'high-collared guy' isn't enough."

-

 "Then what should I say?"

-

 "Better say,--'a high-collared guy; swindler, bastard,

 super-swanker, doubleface, bluffer, totempole, spotter, who looks

 like a dog as he yelps.'"

-

 "I can't get my tongue to move so fast. You're eloquent. In the first

 place, you know a great many simple words. Strange that you can't make

 a speech."

-

 "I reserve these words for use when I chew the rag. If it comes to

 speech-making, they don't come out so smoothly."

-

 "Is that so? But they simply come a-running. Repeat that again for me."

-

 "As many times as you like. Listen,--a high-collared guy, swindler,

 bastard, super-swanker ..."

-

 While I was repeating this, two shaky fellows came out of the room

 hammering the floor.

-

 "Hey, you two gents, if won't do to run away. Won't let you off while

 I'm here. Come and have a drink. Bastard? That's fine. Bastardly fine.

 Now, come on."

-

 And they pulled Porcupine and me away. These two fellows really had come

 to the lavatory, but soaked as they were, in booze bubbles, they

 apparently forgot to proceed to their original destination, and were

 pulling us hard. All booze fighters seem to be attracted by whatever

 comes directly under their eyes for the moment and forget what they had

 been proposing to do.

-

 "Say, fellows, we've got bastards. Make them drink. Get them loaded. You

 gents got to stay here."

-

 And they pushed me who never attempted to escape against the wall.

 Surveying the scene, I found there was no dish in which any edibles were

 left. Some one had eaten all his share, and gone on a foraging

 expedition. The principal was not there,--I did not know when he left.

-

 At that time, preceded by a coquetish voice, three or four geishas

 entered the room. I was a bit surprised, but having been pushed against

 the wall, I had to look on quietly. At the instant, Red Shirt who had

@@ -3628,13 +3079,11 @@ prettiest of the bunch. They were some distance away from me and I could
 not see very well, but it seemed that she might have said "Good

 evening." Red Shirt brushed past as if unconscious, and never showed

 again. Probably he followed the principal.

-

 The sight of the geishas set the room immediately in a buzz and it

 became noisy as they all raised howls of welcome. Some started the game

 of "nanko" with a force that beat the sword-drawing practice. Others

 began playing morra, and the way they shook their hands, intently

 absorbed in the game, was a better spectacle than a puppet show.

-

 One in the corner was calling "Hey, serve me here," but shaking the

 bottle, corrected it to "Hey, fetch me more sake." The whole room

 became so infernally noisy that I could scarcely stand it. Amid this

@@ -3644,51 +3093,39 @@ party was not in order to bid him a farewell, but because they wanted
 to have a jolly good time for themselves with John Barleycorn. He had

 come to suffer only. Such a dinner party would have been better had it

 not been started at all.

-

 After a while, they began singing ditties in outlandish voices. One of

 the geishas came in front of me, and taking up a samisen, asked me to

 sing something. I told her I didn't sing, but I'd like to hear, and she

 droned out:

-

 "If one can go round and meet the one he wants, banging gongs and drums

 ...... bang, bang, bang, bang, bing, shouting after wandering Santaro,

 there is some one I'd like to meet by banging round gongs and drums

 ...... bang, bang, bang, bang, b-i-n-g."

-

 She dashed this off in two breaths, and sighed, "O, dear!" She should

 have sung something easier.

-

 Clown who had come near us meanwhile, remarked in his flippant tone:

-

 "Hello, dear Miss Su-chan, too bad to see your beau go away so soon."

 The geisha pouted, "I don't know." Clown, regardless, began imitating

 "gidayu" with a dismal voice,--"What a luck, when she met her sweet

 heart by a rare chance...."

-

 The geisha slapped the lap of Clown with a "Cut that out," and Clown

 gleefully laughed. This geisha is the one who made goo-goo eyes[J] at

 Red Shirt. What a simpleton, to be pleased by the slap of a geisha, this

 Clown. He said:

-

 "Say, Su-chan, strike up the string. I'm going to dance the Kiino-kuni."

 He seemed yet to dance.

-

 On other side of the room, the old man of Confucius, twisting round his

 toothless mouth, had finished as far as "...... dear Dembei-san" and is

 asking a geisha who sat in front of him to couch him for the rest. Old

 people seem to need polishing up their memorizing system. One geisha is

 talking to the teacher of natural history:

-

 "Here's the latest. I'll sing it. Just listen. 'Margaret, the

 high-collared head with a white ribbon; she rides on a bike, plays a

 violin, and talks in broken English,--I am glad to see you.'" Natural

 history appears impressed, and says;

-

 "That's an interesting piece. English in it too."

-

 Porcupine called "geisha, geisha," in a loud voice, and commanded; "Bang

 your samisen; I'm going to dance a sword-dance."

-

 His manner was so rough that the geishas were startled and did not

 answer. Porcupine, unconcerned, brought out a cane, and began performing

 the sword-dance in the center of the room. Then Clown, having danced the

@@ -3696,7 +3133,6 @@ Kii-no-kuni, the Kap-pore[K] and the Durhma-san on the Shelf, almost
 stark-naked, with a palm-fibre broom, began turkey-trotting about the

 room, shouting "The Sino-Japanese negotiations came to a break......."

 The whole was a crazy sight.

-

 I had been feeling sorry for Hubbard Squash, who up to this time had sat

 up straight in his full dress. Even were this a farewell dinner held in

 his honor, I thought he was under no obligation to look patiently in a

@@ -3704,44 +3140,31 @@ formal dress at the naked dance. So I went to him and persuaded him with
 "Say, Koga-san, let's go home." Hubbard Squash said the dinner was in

 his honor, and it would be improper for him to leave the room before the

 guests. He seemed to be determined to remain.

-

 "What do you care!" I said, "If this is a farewell dinner, make it like

 one. Look at those fellows; they're just like the inmates of a lunatic

 asylum. Let's go."

-

 And having forced hesitating Hubbard Squash to his feet, we were

 just leaving the room, when Clown, marching past, brandishing the

 broom, saw us.

-

 "This won't do for the guest of honor to leave before us," he hollered,

 "this is the Sino-Japanese negotiations. Can't let you off." He enforced

 his declaration by holding the broom across our way. My temper had been

 pretty well aroused for some time, and I felt impatient.

-

 "The Sino-Japanese negotiation, eh? Then you're a Chink," and I whacked

 his head with a knotty fist.

-

 This sudden blow left Clown staring blankly speechless for a second or

 two; then he stammered out:

-

 "This is going some! Mighty pity to knock my head. What a blow on this

 Yoshikawa! This makes the Sino-Japanese negotiations the sure stuff."

-

 While Clown was mumbling these incoherent remarks, Porcupine, believing

 some kind of row had been started, ceased his sword-dance and came

 running toward us. On seeing us, he grabbed the neck of Clown and

 pulled him back.

-

 "The Sino-Japane......ouch!......ouch! This is outrageous," and Clown

 writhed under the grip of Porcupine who twisted him sideways and threw

 him down on the floor with a bang. I do not know the rest. I parted from

 Hubbard Squash on the way, and it was past eleven when I returned home.

-

-

-

 CHAPTER X.

-

-

 The town is going to celebrate a Japanese victory to-day, and there is

 no school. The celebration is to be held at the parade ground, and

 Badger is to take out all the students and attend the ceremony. As one

@@ -3775,7 +3198,6 @@ he takes seriously the apologies others might offer. We should regard
 all apologies a sham and forgiving also as a sham; then everything would

 be all right. If one wants to make another apologize from his heart, he

 has to pound him good and strong until he begs for mercy from his heart.

-

 As I walked along between the sections, I could hear constantly the

 voices mentioning "tempura" or "dango." And as there were so many of

 them, I could not tell which one mentioned it. Even if I succeeded in

@@ -3809,7 +3231,6 @@ of the advisability of returning to Tokyo quickly and living with Kiyo.
 To live long in such a countrytown would be like degrading myself for a

 purpose. Newspaper delivering would be preferable to being degraded so

 far as that.

-

 I walked along with a sinking heart, thinking like this, when the head

 of our procession became suddenly noisy, and the whole came to a full

 stop. I thought something has happened, stepped to the right out of the

@@ -3819,7 +3240,6 @@ canned sardines, alternately pushing back and forth. The teacher of
 physical culture came down the line hoarsely shouting to all to be

 quiet. I asked him what was the matter, and he said the middle school

 and the normal had come to a clash at the corner.

-

 The middle school and the normal, I understood, are as much friendly as

 dogs and monkeys. It is not explained why but their temper was

 hopelessly crossed, and each would try to knock the chip off the

@@ -3834,10 +3254,8 @@ began marching on. The clash which had resulted from contending for the
 right of way was settled, but it was settled by the middle school giving

 way to the normal. From the point of school-standing the normal is said

 to rank above the middle.

-

 [Footnote 12: The normal school in the province maintains the students

 mostly on the advance-expense system, supported by the country tax.]

-

 The ceremony was quite simple. The commander of the local brigade read a

 congratulatory address, and so did the governor, and the audience

 shouted banzais. That was all. The entertainments were scheduled for the

@@ -3846,7 +3264,6 @@ answer which had been in my mind for some days. Her request had been
 that I should write her a letter with more detailed news; so I must get

 it done with care. But as I took up the rolled letter-paper, I did not

 know with what I should begin, though I have many things to write about.

-

 Should I begin with that? That is too much trouble. Or with this? It is

 not interesting. Isn't there something which will come out smoothly, I

 reflected, without taxing my head too much, and which will interest

@@ -3859,7 +3276,6 @@ write a letter was a bother. It would be much simpler to go back to
 Tokyo and see Kiyo. Not that I am unconcerned about the anxiety of Kiyo,

 but to get up a letter to please the fancy of Kiyo is a harder job than

 to fast for three weeks.

-

 I threw down the brush and letter-paper, and lying down with my bent

 arms as a pillow, gazed at the garden. But the thought of the letter to

 Kiyo would come back in my mind. Then I thought this way; If I am

@@ -3868,7 +3284,6 @@ would find responsive appreciation in Kiyo. If it does find response,
 there is no need of sending letters. She will regard the absence of

 letters from me as a sign of my being in good health. If I write in case

 of illness or when something unusual happens, that will be sufficient.

-

 The garden is about thirty feet square, with no particular plants worthy

 of name. There is one orange tree which is so tall as to be seen above

 the board fence from outside. Whenever I returned from the school I used

@@ -3880,31 +3295,25 @@ me that they are juicy, sweet oranges. "They will all soon be ripe, and
 then help yourself to all you want," she said. I think I will enjoy a

 few every day. They will be just right in about three weeks. I do not

 think I will have to leave the town in so short a time as three weeks.

-

 While my attention was centered on the oranges, Porcupine[M] came in.

-

 "Say, to-day being the celebration[N] of victory, I thought I would get

 something good to eat with you, and bought some beef."

-

 So saying, he took out a package covered with a bamboo-wrapper, and

 threw it down in the center of the room. I had been denied the pleasure

 of patronizing the noodle house or dango shop, on top of getting sick of

 the sweet potatoes and tofu, and I welcomed the suggestion with "That's

 fine," and began cooking it with a frying pan and some sugar borrowed

 from the old lady.

-

 Porcupine, munching the beef to the full capacity of his mouth, asked me

 if I knew Red Shirt having a favorite geisha. I asked if that was not

 one of the geishas who came to our dinner the other night, and he

 answered, "Yes, I got the wind of the fact only recently; you're sharp."

-

 "Red Shirt always speaks of refinement of character or of mental

 consolation, but he is making a fool of himself by chasing round a

 geisha. What a dandy rogue. We might let that go if he wouldn't make

 fuss about others making fools of themselves. I understand through the

 principal he stopped your going even to noodle houses or dango shops as

 unbecoming to the dignity of the school, didn't he?"

-

 "According to his idea, running after a geisha is a mental consolation

 but tempura or dango is a material pleasure, I guess. If that's mental

 consolation, why doesn't the fool do it above board? You ought to see

@@ -3915,63 +3324,44 @@ literature or that the haiku is a half-brother of the new poetry, and
 expect to hush it up by twaddling soft nonsense. A weak-knee like him is

 not a man. I believe he lived the life of a court-maid in former life.

 Perhaps his daddy might have been a kagema at Yushima in old days."

-

 "What is a kagema?"

-

 "I suppose something very unmanly,--sort of emasculated chaps. Say, that

 part isn't cooked enough. It might give you tape worm."

-

 "So? I think it's all right. And, say, Red Shirt is said to frequent

 Kadoya at the springs town and meet his geisha there, but he keeps

 it in dark."

-

 "Kadoya? That hotel?"

-

 "Also a restaurant. So we've got to catch him there with his geisha and

 make it hot for him right to his face."

-

 "Catch him there? Suppose we begin a kind of night watch?"

-

 "Yes, you know there is a rooming house called Masuya in front of

 Kadoya. We'll rent one room upstairs of the house, and keep peeping

 through a loophole we could make in the shoji."

-

 "Will he come when we keep peeping at him?"

-

 "He may. We will have to do it more than one night. Must expect to keep

 it up for at least two weeks."

-

 "Say, that would make one pretty well tired, I tell you. I sat up every

 night for about one week attending my father when he died, and it left

 me thoroughly down and out for some time afterward."

-

 "I don't care if I do get tired some. A crook like Red Shirt should not

 go unpunished that way for the honor of Japan, and I am going to

 administer a chastisement in behalf of heaven."

-

 "Hooray! If things are decided upon that way, I am game. And we are

 going to start from to-night?"

-

 "I haven't rented a room at Masuya yet, so can't start it to-night."

-

 "Then when?"

-

 "Will start before long. I'll let you know, and want you help me."

-

 "Right-O. I will help you any time. I am not much myself at scheming,

 but I am IT when it comes to fighting."

-

 While Porcupine and I were discussing the plan of subjugating Red Shirt,

 the old lady appeared at the door, announcing that a student was wanting

 to see Professor Hotta. The student had gone to his house, but seeing

 him out, had come here as probable to find him. Porcupine went to the

 front door himself, and returning to the room after a while, said:

-

 "Say, the boy came to invite us to go and see the entertainment of the

 celebration. He says there is a big bunch of dancers from Kochi to dance

 something, and it would be a long time before we could see the like of

 it again. Let's go."

-

 Porcupine seemed enthusiastic over the prospect of seeing that dance,

 and induced me to go with him. I have seen many kinds of dance in Tokyo.

 At the annual festival of the Hachiman Shrine, moving stages come around

@@ -3981,7 +3371,6 @@ from Tosa province, but as Porcupine was so insistent, I changed my mind
 and followed him out. I did not know the student who came to invite

 Porcupine, but found he was the younger brother of Red Shirt. Of all

 students, what a strange choice for a messenger!

-

 The celebration ground was decorated, like the wrestling amphitheater at

 Ryogoku during the season, or the annual festivity of the Hommonji

 temple, with long banners planted here and there, and on the ropes that

@@ -3996,7 +3385,6 @@ display seemingly much impressed, but it failed to impress me. If
 twisted grasses or bamboos afforded so much pleasure, the gallantry of a

 hunchback or the husband of a wrong pair should give as much pleasure to

 their eyes.

-

 In the opposite direction, aerial bombs and fire works were steadily

 going on. A balloon shot out on which was written "Long Live the

 Empire!" It floated leisurely over the pine trees near the castle

@@ -4007,7 +3395,6 @@ and finally faded. Then another balloon. It was red with "Long Live the
 Army and Navy" in white. The wind slowly carried it from the town

 toward the Aioi village. Probably it would fall into the yard of Kwanon

 temple there.

-

 At the formal celebration this morning there were not quite so many as

 here now. It was surging mass that made me wonder how so many people

 lived in the place. There were not many attractive faces among the

@@ -4015,7 +3402,6 @@ crowd, but as far as the numerical strength went, it was a formidable
 one. In the meantime that dance had begun. I took it for granted that

 since they call it a dance, it would be something similar to the kind of

 dance by the Fujita troupe, but I was greatly mistaken.

-

 Thirty fellows, dressed up in a martial style, in three rows of ten

 each, stood with glittering drawn swords. The sight was an eye-opener,

 indeed. The space between the rows measured about two feet, and that

@@ -4026,7 +3412,6 @@ which suggested a mighty easy-life, and then croaking a strange song, he
 would strike the drum. The tune was outlandishly unfamiliar. One might

 form the idea by thinking it a combination of the Mikawa Banzai and the

 Fudarakuya.

-

 The song was drowsy, and like syrup in summer is dangling and slovenly.

 He struck the drum to make stops at certain intervals. The tune was kept

 with regular rhythmical order, though it appeared to have neither head

@@ -4054,21 +3439,17 @@ fellows were entirely directed by the tune with which he kept them
 going. To the spectators this fellow's part appeared the easiest. He

 sang in a lazy tune, but it was strange that he was the fellow who takes

 the heaviest responsibility.

-

 While Porcupine and I, deeply impressed, were looking at the dance with

 absorbing interest, a sudden hue and cry was raised about half a block

 off. A commotion was started among those who had been quietly enjoying

 the sights and all ran pell-mell in every direction. Some one was heard

 saying "fight!" Then the younger brother of Red Shirt came running

 forward through the crowd.

-

 "Please, Sir," he panted, "a row again! The middles are going to get

 even with the normals and have just begun fighting. Come quick, Sir!"

 And he melted somewhere into the crowd.

-

 "What troublesome brats! So they're at it again, eh? Why can't

 they stop it!"

-

 Porcupine, as he spoke, dashed forward, dodging among the running crowd.

 He meant, I think, to stop the fight, because he could not be an idle

 spectator once he was informed of the fact. I of course had no intention

@@ -4079,26 +3460,19 @@ middles had discarded their uniform and put on Japanese civilian
 clothes, which made the distinction between the two hostile camps easy.

 But they were so mixed up, and wrangling with such violence, that we did

 not know how and where we could separate them.

-

 Porcupine, apparently at a loss what to do, looked at the wild scene

 awhile, then turned to me, saying:

-

 "Let's jump in and separate them. It will be hell if cops get on them."

-

 I did not answer, but rushed to the spot where the scuffle appeared

 most violent.

-

 "Stop there! Cut this out! You're ruining the name of the school! Stop

 this, dash you!"

-

 Shouting at the top of my voice, I attempted to penetrate the line which

 seemed to separate the hostile sides, but this attempt did not succeed.

 When about ten feet into the turmoil, I could neither advance nor

 retreat. Right in my front, a comparatively large normal was grappling

 with a middle about sixteen years of ago.

-

 "Stop that!"

-

 I grabbed the shoulder of the normal and tried to force them apart when

 some one whacked my feet. On this sudden attack, I let go the normal and

 fell down sideways. Some one stepped on my back with heavy shoes. With

@@ -4106,18 +3480,13 @@ both hands and knees upon the ground, I jumped up and the fellow on my
 back rolled off to my right. I got up, and saw the big body of Porcupine

 about twenty feet away, sandwiched between the students, being pushed

 back and forth, shouting, "Stop the fight! Stop that!"

-

 "Say, we can't do anything!" I hollered at him, but unable to hear, I

 think, he did not answer.

-

 A pebble-stone whiffled through the air and hit squarely on my cheek

 bone; the same moment some one banged my back with a heavy stick

 from behind.

-

 "Profs mixing in!" "Knock them down!" was shouted.

-

 "Two of them; big one and small. Throw stones at them!" Another shout.

-

 "Drat you fresh jackanapes!" I cried as I wallopped the head of a normal

 nearby. Another stone grazed my head, and passed behind me. I did not

 know what had become of Porcupine, I could not find him. Well, I could

@@ -4131,25 +3500,18 @@ wading through a pond of molasses, I could hardly move, but the next I
 felt suddenly released and both sides scampered off simultaneously. Even

 the country fellows do creditable work when it comes to retreating, more

 masterly than General Kuropatkin, I might say.

-

 I searched for Porcupine who, I found his overgown torn to shreds, was

 wiping his nose. He bled considerably, and his nose having swollen was a

 sight. My clothes were pretty well massed with dirt, but I had not

 suffered quite as much damage as Porcupine. I felt pain in my cheek and

 as Porcupine said, it bled some.

-

 About sixteen police officers arrived at the scene but, all the students

 having beat it in opposite directions, all they were able to catch were

 Porcupine and me. We gave them our names and explained the whole story.

 The officers requested us to follow them to the police station which we

 did, and after stating to the chief of police what had happened, we

 returned home.

-

-

-

 CHAPTER XI.

-

-

 The next morning on awakening I felt pains all over my body, due, I

 thought, to having had no fight for a long time. This is not creditable

 to my fame as regards fighting, so I thought while in bed, when the old

@@ -4165,7 +3527,6 @@ trouble by inciting the students, but were actually present at the scene
 of the trouble, directing the students and engaged themselves against

 the students of the Normal School. On top of this, something of the

 following effect was added.

-

 "The Middle School in this prefecture has been an object of admiration

 by all other schools for its good and ideal behavior. But since this

 long-cherished honor has been sullied by these two irresponsible

@@ -4173,12 +3534,10 @@ persons, and this city made to suffer the consequent indignity, we have
 to bring the perpetrators to full account. We trust that before we take

 any step in this matter, the authorities will have those 'toughs'

 properly punished, barring them forever from our educational circles."

-

 All the types were italicized, as if they meant to administer

 typographical chastisement upon us. "What the devil do I care!" I

 shouted, and up I jumped out of bed. Strange to say, the pain in my

 joints became tolerable.

-

 I rolled up the newspaper and threw it into the garden. Not satisfied, I

 took that paper to the cesspool and dumped it there. Newspapers tell

 such reckless lies. There is nothing so adept, I believe, as the

@@ -4194,7 +3553,6 @@ dumped it in the cesspool; go and pick it up if you want it,"--and she
 withdrew with a startled look. Looking in the mirror, I saw bruises on

 my cheek. Mine is a precious face to me. I get my face bruised, and am

 called a saucy Somebody as if I were nobody. That is enough.

-

 It will be a reflection on my honor to the end of my days if it is said

 that I shunned the public gaze and kept out of the school on account of

 the write-up in the paper. So, after the breakfast, I attended the

@@ -4202,21 +3560,16 @@ school ahead of all. One after the other, all coming to the school would
 grin at my face. What is there to laugh about! This face is my own,

 gotten up, I am sure, without the least obligation on their part. By and

 by, Clown appeared.

-

 "Ha, heroic action yesterday. Wounds of honor, eh?"

-

 He made this sarcastic remark, I suppose, in revenge for the knock he

 received on his head from me at the farewell dinner.

-

 "Cut out nonsense; you get back there and suck your old drawing

 brushes!" Then he answered "that was going some," and enquired if it

 pained much?

-

 "Pain or no pain, this is my face. That's none of your business," I

 snapped back in a furious temper. Then Clown took his seat on the other

 side, and still keeping his eye on me, whispered and laughed with the

 teacher of history next to him.

-

 Then came Porcupine. His nose had swollen and was purple,--it was a

 tempting object for a surgeon's knife. His face showed far worse (is it

 my conceit that make this comparison?) than mine. I and Porcupine are

@@ -4231,7 +3584,6 @@ their hands when I entered; two or three of them banzaied. I could not
 tell whether it was an enthusiastic approval or open insult. While I and

 Porcupine were thus being made the cynosures of the whole school, Red

 Shirt came to me as usual.

-

 "Too bad, my friend; I am very sorry indeed for you gentlemen," he said

 in a semi-apologetic manner. "I've talked with the principal in regard

 to the story in the paper, and have arranged to demand that the paper

@@ -4242,7 +3594,6 @@ you gentlemen please depend on that." At the third hour recess the
 principal came out of his room, and seemed more or less perturbed,

 saying, "The paper made a bad mess of it, didn't it? I hope the matter

 will not become serious."

-

 As to anxiety, I have none. If they propose to relieve me, I intend

 to tender my resignation before I get fired,--that's all. However, if

 I resign with no fault on my part, I would be simply giving the paper

@@ -4251,7 +3602,6 @@ had said, and stick to my position. I was going to the newspaper
 office to give them a piece of my mind on my way back but having been

 told that the school had already taken steps to have the story

 retracted, I did not.

-

 Porcupine and I saw the principal and Red Shirt at a convenient hour,

 giving them a faithful version of the incident. The principal and Red

 Shirt agreed that the incident must have been as we said and that the

@@ -4261,7 +3611,6 @@ room, defending and explaining our action in the affair. Particularly he
 dwelt upon the fact that his brother invited Porcupine and it was his

 fault. All teachers denounced the paper as infamous and agreed that we

 two deserved sympathy.

-

 On our way home, Porcupine warned me that Red Shirt smelt suspicious,

 and we would be done unless we looked out. I said he had been smelling

 some anyway,--it was not necessarily so just from to-day. Then he said

@@ -4269,57 +3618,39 @@ that it was his trick to have us invited and mixed in the fight
 yesterday,--"Aren't you on to that yet?" Well, I was not. Porcupine was

 quite a Grobian but he was endowed, I was impressed, with a better

 brain than I.

-

 "He made us mix into the trouble, and slipped behind and contrived to

 have the paper publish the story. What a devil!"

-

 "Even the newspaper in the band wagon of Red Shirt? That surprises me.

 But would the paper listen to Red Shirt so easily?"

-

 "Wouldn't it, though. Darn easy thing if one has friends in the

 paper."[P]

-

 "Has he any?"

-

 "Suppose he hasn't, still that's easy. Just tell lies and say such and

 such are facts, and the paper will take it up."

-

 "A startling revelation, this. If that was really a trick of Red Shirt,

 we're likely to be discharged on account of this affair."

-

 "Quite likely we may be discharged."

-

 "Then I'll tender my resignation tomorrow, and back to Tokyo I go. I am

 sick of staying in such a wretched hole."

-

 "Your resignation wouldn't make Red Shirt squeal."

-

 "That's so. How can he be made to squeal?"

-

 "A wily guy like him always plots not to leave any trace behind, and it

 would be difficult to follow his track."

-

 "What a bore! Then we have to stand in a false light, eh? Damn it! I

 call all kinds of god to witness if this is just and right!"

-

 "Let's wait for two or three days and see how it turns out. And if

 we can't do anything else, we will have to catch him at the hot

 springs town."

-

 "Leaving this fight affair a separate case?"

-

 "Yes. We'll have to his hit weak spot with our own weapon."

-

 "That may be good. I haven't much to say in planning it out; I leave it

 to you and will do anything at your bidding."

-

 I parted from Porcupine then. If Red Shirt was really instrumental in

 bringing us two into the trouble as Porcupine supposed, he certainly

 deserves to be called down. Red Shirt outranks us in brainy work. And

 there is no other course open but to appeal to physical force. No wonder

 we never see the end of war in the world. Among individuals, it is,

 after all, the question of superiority of the fist.

-

 Next day I impatiently glanced over the paper, the arrival of which I

 had been waiting with eagerness, but not a correction of the news or

 even a line of retraction could be found. I pressed the matter on

@@ -4333,20 +3664,17 @@ influence. He has not even as much power as to bring down a country
 newspaper, which had printed a false story. I was so thoroughly

 indignant that I declared I would go alone to the office and see the

 editor-in-chief on the subject, but Badger said no.

-

 "If you go there and have a blowup with the editor," he continued, "it

 would only mean of your being handed out worse stuff in the paper again.

 Whatever is published in a paper, right or wrong, nothing can be done

 with it." And he wound up with a remark that sounded like a piece of

 sermon by a Buddhist bonze that "We must be contented by speedily

 despatching the matter from our minds and forgetting it."

-

 If newspapers are of that character, it would be beneficial for us all

 to have them suspended,--the sooner the better. The similarity of the

 unpleasant sensation of being written-up in a paper and being

 bitten-down by a turtle became plain for the first time by the

 explanation of Badger.

-

 About three days afterward, Porcupine came to me excited, and said that

 the time has now come, that he proposes to execute that thing we had

 planned out. Then I will do so, I said, and readily agreed to join him.

@@ -4355,7 +3683,6 @@ why, and he asked if I had been requested by the principal to tender my
 resignation. No, I said, and asked if he had. He told me that he was

 called by the principal who was very, very sorry for him but under the

 circumstance requested him to decide to resign.

-

 "That isn't fair. Badger probably had been pounding his belly-drum too

 much and his stomach is upside down," I said, "you and I went to the

 celebration, looked at the glittering sword dance together, and jumped

@@ -4363,82 +3690,59 @@ into the fight together to stop it. Wasn't it so? If he wants you to
 tender your resignation, he should be impartial and should have asked me

 to also. What makes everything in the country school so dull-head. This

 is irritating!"

-

 "That's wire-pulling by Red Shirt," he said. "I and Red Shirt cannot go

 along together, but they think you can be left as harmless."

-

 "I wouldn't get along with that Red Shirt either. Consider me harmless,

 eh? They're getting too gay with me."

-

 "You're so simple and straight that they think they can handle you in

 any old way."

-

 "Worse still. I wouldn't get along with him, I tell you."

-

 "Besides, since the departure of Koga, his successor has not arrived.

 Furthermore, if they fire me and you together, there will be blank spots

 in the schedule hours at the school."

-

 "Then they expect me to play their game. Darn the fellow! See if they

 can make me."

-

 On going to the school next day I made straightway for the room of the

 principal and started firing;

-

 "Why don't you ask me to put in my resignation?" I said.

-

 "Eh?" Badger stared blankly.

-

 "You requested Hotta to resign, but not me. Is that right?"

-

 "That is on account of the condition of the school......"

-

 "That condition is wrong, I dare say. If I don't have to resign, there

 should be no necessity for Hotta to resign either."

-

 "I can't offer a detailed explanation about that......as to Hotta, it

 cannot be helped if he goes...... ......we see no need of your

 resigning."

-

 Indeed, he is a badger. He jabbers something, dodging the point, but

 appears complacent. So I had to say:

-

 "Then, I will tender my resignation. You might have thought that I

 would remain peacefully while Mr. Hotta is forced to resign, but I

 cannot do it"

-

 "That leaves us in a bad fix. If Hotta goes away and you follow him, we

 can't teach mathematics here."

-

 "None of my business if you can't."

-

 "Say, don't be so selfish. You ought to consider the condition of the

 school. Besides, if it is said that you resigned within one month of

 starting a new job, it would affect your record in the future. You

 should consider that point also."

-

 "What do I care about my record. Obligation is more important

 than record."

-

 "That's right. What you say is right, but be good enough to take our

 position into consideration. If you insist on resigning, then resign,

 but please stay until we get some one to take your place. At any rate,

 think the matter over once more, please."

-

 The reason was so plain as to discourage any attempt to think it over,

 but as I took some pity on Badger whose face reddened or paled

 alternately as he spoke, I withdrew on the condition that I would think

 the matter over. I did not talk with Red Shirt. If I have to land him

 one, it was better, I thought, to have it bunched together and make it

 hot and strong.

-

 I acquainted Porcupine with the details of my meeting with Badger. He

 said he had expected it to be about so, and added that the matter of

 resignation can be left alone without causing me any embarrassment

 until the time comes. So I followed his advice. Porcupine appears

 somewhat smarter than I, and I have decided to accept whatever advices

 he may give.

-

 Porcupine finally tendered his resignation, and having bidden farewell

 of all the fellow teachers, went down to Minato-ya on the beach. But he

 stealthily returned to the hot springs town, and having rented a front

@@ -4469,7 +3773,6 @@ Shirt seems never to be coming, I said, and he would fold his arms,
 audibly sighing, "Well, he ought to." If Red Shirt would not come just

 for once, Porcupine would be deprived of the chance of handing out a

 deserved and just punishment.

-

 I left my boarding house about 7 o'clock on the eighth night and after

 having enjoyed my bath, I bought eight raw eggs. This would counteract

 the attack of sweet potatoes by the old lady. I put the eggs into my

@@ -4477,70 +3780,48 @@ right and left pockets, four in each, with the same old red towel hung
 over my shoulder, my hands inside my coat, went to Masuya. I opened the

 shoji of the room and Porcupine greeted me with his Idaten-like face

 suddenly radiant, saying:

-

 "Say, there's hope! There's hope!" Up to last night, he had been

 downcast, and even I felt gloomy. But at his cheerful countenance, I too

 became cheerful, and before hearing anything, I cried, "Hooray! Hooray!"

-

 "About half past seven this evening," he said, "that geisha named Kosuzu

 has gone into Kadoya."

-

 "With Red Shirt?"

-

 "No."

-

 "That's no good then."

-

 "There were two geishas......seems to me somewhat hopeful."

-

 "How?"

-

 "How? Why, the sly old fox is likely to send his girls ahead[Q], and

 sneak round behind later."

-

 "That may be the case. About nine now, isn't it?"

-

 "About twelve minutes past nine," said he, pulling out a watch with

 a nickel case, "and, say put out the light. It would be funny to

 have two silhouettes of bonze heads on the shoji. The fox is too

 ready to suspect."

-

 I blew out the lamp which stood upon the lacquer-enameled table. The

 shoji alone was dimly plain by the star light. The moon has not come up

 yet. I and Porcupine put our faces close to the shoji, watching almost

 breathless. A wall clock somewhere rang half past nine.

-

 "Say, will he come to-night, do you think? If he doesn't show up, I

 quit."

-

 "I'm going to keep this up while my money lasts."

-

 "Money? How much have you?"

-

 "I've paid five yen and sixty sen up to to-day for eight days. I pay my

 bill every night, so I can jump out anytime."

-

 "That's well arranged. The people of this hotel must have been rather

 put out, I suppose."

-

 "That's all right with the hotel; only I can't take my mind off

 the house."

-

 "But you take some sleep in daytime."

-

 "Yes, I take a nap, but it's nuisance because I can't go out."

-

 "Heavenly chastisement is a hard job, I'm sure," I said. "If he gives

 us the slip after giving us such trouble, it would have been a

 thankless task."

-

 "Well, I'm sure he will come to-night...--... Look, look!" His voice

 changed to whisper and I was alert in a moment. A fellow with a black

 hat looked up at the gas light of Kadoya and passed on into the

 darkness. No, it was not Red Shirt. Disappointing, this! Meanwhile the

 clock at the office below merrily tinkled off ten. It seems to be

 another bum watch to-night.

-

 The streets everywhere had become quiet. The drum playing in the

 tenderloin reached our ears distinctively. The moon had risen from

 behind the hills of the hot springs. It is very light outside. Then

@@ -4548,37 +3829,24 @@ voices were heard below. We could not poke our heads out of the window,
 so were unable to see the owners of the voices, but they were evidently

 coming nearer. The dragging of komageta (a kind of wooden footwear) was

 heard. They approached so near we could see their shadows.

-

 "Everything is all right now. We've got rid of the stumbling block." It

 was undoubtedly the voice of Clown.

-

 "He only glories in bullying but has no tact." This from Red Shirt.

-

 "He is like that young tough, isn't he? Why, as to that young tough, he

 is a winsome, sporty Master Darling."

-

 "I don't want my salary raised, he says, or I want to tender

 resignation,--I'm sure something is wrong with his nerves."

-

 I was greatly inclined to open the window, jump out of the second story

 and make them see more stars than they cared to, but I restrained myself

 with some effort. The two laughed, and passed below the gas light, and

 into Kadoya.

-

 "Say."

-

 "Well."

-

 "He's here."

-

 "Yes, he has come at last."

-

 "I feel quite easy now."

-

 "Damned Clown called me a sporty Master Darling."

-

 "The stumbling[R] block means me. Hell!"

-

 I and Porcupine had to waylay them on their return. But we knew no more

 than the man in the moon when they would come out. Porcupine went down

 to the hotel office, notifying them to the probability of our going out

@@ -4586,7 +3854,6 @@ at midnight, and requesting them to leave the door unfastened so we
 could get out anytime. As I think about it now, it is wonderful how the

 hotel people complied with our request. In most cases, we would have

 been taken for burglars.

-

 It was trying to wait for the coming of Red Shirt, but it was still more

 trying to wait for his coming out again. We could not go to sleep, nor

 could we remain with our faces stuck to the shoji all the time our minds

@@ -4600,7 +3867,6 @@ different room. Supposing we do break into a room, we cannot tell of all
 those many rooms, where we can find him. There is no other way but to

 wait for him to come out, however tiresome it may be. So we sat up till

 five in the morning.

-

 The moment we saw them emerging from Kadoya, I and Porcupine followed

 them. It was some time before the first train started and they had to

 walk up to town. Beyond the limit of the hot springs town, there is a

@@ -4615,23 +3881,17 @@ double-quick time, and caught up with them. Wondering what was coming
 after them, they turned back, and we grabbed their shoulders. We cried,

 "Wait!" Clown, greatly rattled, attempted to escape, but I stepped in

 front of him to cut off his retreat.

-

 "What makes one holding the job of a head teacher stay over night at

 Kadoya!" Porcupine directly fired the opening gun.

-

 "Is there any rule that a head teacher should not stay over night at

 Kadoya?" Red Shirt met the attack in a polite manner. He looked a

 little pale.

-

 "Why the one who is so strict as to forbid others from going even to

 noodle house or dango shop as unbecoming to instructors, stayed over

 night at a hotel with a geisha!"

-

 Clown was inclined to run at the first opportunity; so kept I

 before him.

-

 "What's that Master Darling of a young tough!" I roared.

-

 "I didn't mean you. Sir. No, Sir, I didn't mean you, sure." He insisted

 on this brazen excuse. I happened to notice at that moment that I had

 held my pockets with both hands. The eggs in both pockets jerked so when

@@ -4646,24 +3906,17 @@ before I knew what I was doing. But seeing Clown down and finding my
 hand grenade successful, I banged the rest of the eggs on him,

 intermingled with "Darn you, you sonovagun!" The face of Clown was

 soaked in yellow.

-

 While I was bombarding Clown with the eggs, Porcupine was firing at

 Red[S] Shirt.

-

 "Is there any evidence that I stayed there over night with a geisha?"

-

 "I saw your favorite old chicken go there early in the evening, and am

 telling you so. You can't fool me!"

-

 "No need for us of fooling anybody. I stayed there with Mr. Yoshikawa,

 and whether any geisha had gone there early in the evening or not,

 that's none of my business."

-

 "Shut up!" Porcupine wallopped him one. Red Shirt tottered.

-

 "This is outrageous! It is rough to resort to force before deciding the

 right or wrong of it!"

-

 "Outrageous indeed!" Another clout. "Nothing but wallopping will be

 effective on you scheming guys." The remark was followed by a shower

 of blows. I soaked Clown at the same time, and made him think he saw

@@ -4671,26 +3924,20 @@ the way to the Kingdom-Come. Finally the two crawled and crouched at
 the foot of a cedar tree, and either from inability to move or to

 see, because their eyes had become hazy, they did not even attempt to

 break away.

-

 "Want more? If so, here goes some more!" With that we gave him more

 until he cried enough. "Want more? You?" we turned to Clown, and he

 answered "Enough, of course."

-

 "This is the punishment of heaven on you grovelling wretches. Keep

 this in your head and be more careful hereafter. You can never talk

 down justice."

-

 The two said nothing. They were so thoroughly cowed that they could

 not speak.

-

 "I'm going to neither, run away nor hide. You'll find me at Minato-ya on

 the beach up to five this evening. Bring police officers or any old

 thing you want," said Porcupine.

-

 "I'm not going to run away or hide either. Will wait for you at the same

 place with Hotta. Take the case to the police station if you like, or do

 as you damn please," I said, and we two walked our own way.

-

 It was a little before seven when I returned to my room. I started

 packing as soon as I was in the room, and the astonished old lady asked

 me what I was trying to do. I'm going to Tokyo to fetch my Madam, I

@@ -4699,26 +3946,21 @@ beach and found Porcupine asleep upstairs. I thought of writing my
 resignation, but not knowing how, just scribbled off that "because of

 personal affairs, I have to resign and return, to Tokyo. Yours truly,"

 and addressed and mailed it to the principal.

-

 The steamer leaves the harbor at six in the evening. Porcupine and I,

 tired out, slept like logs, and when we awoke it was two o'clock. We

 asked the maid if the police had called on us, and she said no. Red

 Shirt and Clown had not taken it to the police, eh? We laughed.

-

 That night I and Porcupine left the town. The farther the vessel steamed

 away from the shore, the more refreshed we felt. From Kobe to Tokyo we

 boarded a through train and when we made Shimbashi, we breathed as if we

 were once more in congenial human society. I parted from Porcupine at

 the station, and have not had the chance of meeting him since.

-

 I forgot to tell you about Kiyo. On my arrival at Tokyo, I rushed into

 her house swinging my valise, before going to a hotel, with "Hello,

 Kiyo, I'm back!"

-

 "How good of you to return so soon!" she cried and hot tears streamed

 down her cheeks. I was overjoyed, and declared that I would not go to

 the country any more but would start housekeeping with Kiyo in Tokyo.

-

 Some time afterward, some one helped me to a job as assistant engineer

 at the tram car office. The salary was 25 yen a month, and the house

 rent six. Although the house had not a magnificent front entrance, Kiyo

@@ -4727,11 +3969,8 @@ pneumonia and died in February this year. On the day preceding her
 death, she asked me to bedside, and said, "Please, Master Darling, if

 Kiyo is dead, bury me in the temple yard of Master Darling. I will be

 glad to wait in the grave for my Master Darling."

-

 So Kiyo's grave is in the Yogen temple at Kobinata.

-

 --(THE END)--

-

 [A: Insitent]

 [B: queershaped]

 [C: The original just had the Japanese character, Unicode U+5927, sans

@@ -4751,29 +3990,14 @@ So Kiyo's grave is in the Yogen temple at Kobinata.
 [P: girl shead]

 [Q: stumblieg]

 [R: Rad]

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

 End of Project Gutenberg's Botchan (Master Darling), by Kin-nosuke Natsume

-

 *** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BOTCHAN (MASTER DARLING) ***

-

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-

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-

 Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions

 will be renamed.

-

 Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no

 one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation

 (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without

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diff --git a/data/wagahaiwa_nekodearu.txt b/data/wagahaiwa_nekodearu.txt
index 3674b22..3c5986d 100644
--- a/data/wagahaiwa_nekodearu.txt
+++ b/data/wagahaiwa_nekodearu.txt
@@ -1,27 +1,20 @@
 吾輩は猫である

 夏目漱石

-

 -------------------------------------------------------

 【テキスト中に現れる記号について】

-

 《》：ルビ

 （例）吾輩《わがはい》は猫である

-

 ｜：ルビの付く文字列の始まりを特定する記号

 （例）一番｜獰悪《どうあく》な種族であった

-

 ［＃］：入力者注　主に外字の説明や、傍点の位置の指定

 　　　（数字は、JIS X 0213の面区点番号またはUnicode、底本のページと行数）

 （例）※［＃「言＋墟のつくり」、第4水準2-88-74］

-

 〔〕：アクセント分解された欧文をかこむ

 （例）〔Quid aliud est mulier nisi amicitiae& inimica〕

 アクセント分解についての詳細は下記URLを参照してください

 http://www.aozora.gr.jp/accent_separation.html

 -------------------------------------------------------

-

 ［＃８字下げ］一［＃「一」は中見出し］

-

 　吾輩《わがはい》は猫である。名前はまだ無い。

 　どこで生れたかとんと見当《けんとう》がつかぬ。何でも薄暗いじめじめした所でニャーニャー泣いていた事だけは記憶している。吾輩はここで始めて人間というものを見た。しかもあとで聞くとそれは書生という人間中で一番｜獰悪《どうあく》な種族であったそうだ。この書生というのは時々我々を捕《つかま》えて煮《に》て食うという話である。しかしその当時は何という考もなかったから別段恐しいとも思わなかった。ただ彼の掌《てのひら》に載せられてスーと持ち上げられた時何だかフワフワした感じがあったばかりである。掌の上で少し落ちついて書生の顔を見たのがいわゆる人間というものの見始《みはじめ》であろう。この時妙なものだと思った感じが今でも残っている。第一毛をもって装飾されべきはずの顔がつるつるしてまるで薬缶《やかん》だ。その後《ご》猫にもだいぶ逢《あ》ったがこんな片輪《かたわ》には一度も出会《でく》わした事がない。のみならず顔の真中があまりに突起している。そうしてその穴の中から時々ぷうぷうと煙《けむり》を吹く。どうも咽《む》せぽくて実に弱った。これが人間の飲む煙草《たばこ》というものである事はようやくこの頃知った。

 　この書生の掌の裏《うち》でしばらくはよい心持に坐っておったが、しばらくすると非常な速力で運転し始めた。書生が動くのか自分だけが動くのか分らないが無暗《むやみ》に眼が廻る。胸が悪くなる。到底《とうてい》助からないと思っていると、どさりと音がして眼から火が出た。それまでは記憶しているがあとは何の事やらいくら考え出そうとしても分らない。

@@ -59,9 +52,7 @@ http://www.aozora.gr.jp/accent_separation.html
 　赤松の間に二三段の紅《こう》を綴った紅葉《こうよう》は昔《むか》しの夢のごとく散ってつくばい［＃「つくばい」に傍点］に近く代る代る花弁《はなびら》をこぼした紅白《こうはく》の山茶花《さざんか》も残りなく落ち尽した。三間半の南向の椽側に冬の日脚が早く傾いて木枯《こがらし》の吹かない日はほとんど稀《まれ》になってから吾輩の昼寝の時間も狭《せば》められたような気がする。

 　主人は毎日学校へ行く。帰ると書斎へ立て籠《こも》る。人が来ると、教師が厭《いや》だ厭だという。水彩画も滅多にかかない。タカジヤスターゼも功能がないといってやめてしまった。小供は感心に休まないで幼稚園へかよう。帰ると唱歌を歌って、毬《まり》をついて、時々吾輩を尻尾《しっぽ》でぶら下げる。

 　吾輩は御馳走《ごちそう》も食わないから別段｜肥《ふと》りもしないが、まずまず健康で跛《びっこ》にもならずにその日その日を暮している。鼠は決して取らない。おさんは未《いま》だに嫌《きら》いである。名前はまだつけてくれないが、欲をいっても際限がないから生涯《しょうがい》この教師の家《うち》で無名の猫で終るつもりだ。

-

 ［＃８字下げ］二［＃「二」は中見出し］

-

 　吾輩は新年来多少有名になったので、猫ながらちょっと鼻が高く感ぜらるるのはありがたい。

 　元朝早々主人の許《もと》へ一枚の絵端書《えはがき》が来た。これは彼の交友某画家からの年始状であるが、上部を赤、下部を深緑《ふかみど》りで塗って、その真中に一の動物が蹲踞《うずくま》っているところをパステルで書いてある。主人は例の書斎でこの絵を、横から見たり、竪《たて》から眺めたりして、うまい色だなという。すでに一応感服したものだから、もうやめにするかと思うとやはり横から見たり、竪から見たりしている。からだを拗《ね》じ向けたり、手を延ばして年寄が三世相《さんぜそう》を見るようにしたり、または窓の方へむいて鼻の先まで持って来たりして見ている。早くやめてくれないと膝《ひざ》が揺れて険呑《けんのん》でたまらない。ようやくの事で動揺があまり劇《はげ》しくなくなったと思ったら、小さな声で一体何をかいたのだろうと云《い》う。主人は絵端書の色には感服したが、かいてある動物の正体が分らぬので、さっきから苦心をしたものと見える。そんな分らぬ絵端書かと思いながら、寝ていた眼を上品に半《なか》ば開いて、落ちつき払って見ると紛《まぎ》れもない、自分の肖像だ。主人のようにアンドレア・デル・サルトを極《き》め込んだものでもあるまいが、画家だけに形体も色彩もちゃんと整って出来ている。誰が見たって猫に相違ない。少し眼識のあるものなら、猫の中《うち》でも他《ほか》の猫じゃない吾輩である事が判然とわかるように立派に描《か》いてある。このくらい明瞭な事を分らずにかくまで苦心するかと思うと、少し人間が気の毒になる。出来る事ならその絵が吾輩であると云う事を知らしてやりたい。吾輩であると云う事はよし分らないにしても、せめて猫であるという事だけは分らしてやりたい。しかし人間というものは到底《とうてい》吾輩｜猫属《ねこぞく》の言語を解し得るくらいに天の恵《めぐみ》に浴しておらん動物であるから、残念ながらそのままにしておいた。

 　ちょっと読者に断っておきたいが、元来人間が何ぞというと猫々と、事もなげに軽侮の口調をもって吾輩を評価する癖があるははなはだよくない。人間の糟《かす》から牛と馬が出来て、牛と馬の糞から猫が製造されたごとく考えるのは、自分の無智に心付かんで高慢な顔をする教師などにはありがちの事でもあろうが、はたから見てあまり見っともいい者じゃない。いくら猫だって、そう粗末簡便には出来ぬ。よそ目には一列一体、平等無差別、どの猫も自家固有の特色などはないようであるが、猫の社会に這入《はい》って見るとなかなか複雑なもので十人｜十色《といろ》という人間界の語《ことば》はそのままここにも応用が出来るのである。目付でも、鼻付でも、毛並でも、足並でも、みんな違う。髯《ひげ》の張り具合から耳の立ち按排《あんばい》、尻尾《しっぽ》の垂れ加減に至るまで同じものは一つもない。器量、不器量、好き嫌い、粋無粋《すいぶすい》の数《かず》を悉《つ》くして千差万別と云っても差支えないくらいである。そのように判然たる区別が存しているにもかかわらず、人間の眼はただ向上とか何とかいって、空ばかり見ているものだから、吾輩の性質は無論｜相貌《そうぼう》の末を識別する事すら到底出来ぬのは気の毒だ。同類相求むとは昔《むか》しからある語《ことば》だそうだがその通り、餅屋《もちや》は餅屋、猫は猫で、猫の事ならやはり猫でなくては分らぬ。いくら人間が発達したってこればかりは駄目である。いわんや実際をいうと彼等が自《みずか》ら信じているごとくえらくも何ともないのだからなおさらむずかしい。またいわんや同情に乏しい吾輩の主人のごときは、相互を残りなく解するというが愛の第一義であるということすら分らない男なのだから仕方がない。彼は性の悪い牡蠣《かき》のごとく書斎に吸い付いて、かつて外界に向って口を開《ひら》いた事がない。それで自分だけはすこぶる達観したような面構《つらがまえ》をしているのはちょっとおかしい。達観しない証拠には現に吾輩の肖像が眼の前にあるのに少しも悟った様子もなく今年は征露の第二年目だから大方熊の画《え》だろうなどと気の知れぬことをいってすましているのでもわかる。

@@ -260,9 +251,7 @@ http://www.aozora.gr.jp/accent_separation.html
 　吾輩はその後《ご》野良が何百遍繰り返されたかを知らぬ。吾輩はこの際限なき談話を中途で聞き棄てて、布団《ふとん》をすべり落ちて椽側から飛び下りた時、八万八千八百八十本の毛髪を一度にたてて身震《みぶる》いをした。その後《ご》二絃琴《にげんきん》の御師匠さんの近所へは寄りついた事がない。今頃は御師匠さん自身が月桂寺さんから軽少な御回向《ごえこう》を受けているだろう。

 　近頃は外出する勇気もない。何だか世間が慵《もの》うく感ぜらるる。主人に劣らぬほどの無性猫《ぶしょうねこ》となった。主人が書斎にのみ閉じ籠《こも》っているのを人が失恋だ失恋だと評するのも無理はないと思うようになった。

 　鼠《ねずみ》はまだ取った事がないので、一時は御三《おさん》から放逐論《ほうちくろん》さえ呈出《ていしゅつ》された事もあったが、主人は吾輩の普通一般の猫でないと云う事を知っているものだから吾輩はやはりのらくらしてこの家《や》に起臥《きが》している。この点については深く主人の恩を感謝すると同時にその活眼《かつがん》に対して敬服の意を表するに躊躇《ちゅうちょ》しないつもりである。御三が吾輩を知らずして虐待をするのは別に腹も立たない。今に左甚五郎《ひだりじんごろう》が出て来て、吾輩の肖像を楼門《ろうもん》の柱に刻《きざ》み、日本のスタンランが好んで吾輩の似顔をカンヴァスの上に描《えが》くようになったら、彼等｜鈍瞎漢《どんかつかん》は始めて自己の不明を恥《は》ずるであろう。

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 ［＃８字下げ］三［＃「三」は中見出し］

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 　三毛子は死ぬ。黒は相手にならず、いささか寂寞《せきばく》の感はあるが、幸い人間に知己《ちき》が出来たのでさほど退屈とも思わぬ。せんだっては主人の許《もと》へ吾輩の写真を送ってくれと手紙で依頼した男がある。この間は岡山の名産｜吉備団子《きびだんご》をわざわざ吾輩の名宛で届けてくれた人がある。だんだん人間から同情を寄せらるるに従って、己《おのれ》が猫である事はようやく忘却してくる。猫よりはいつの間《ま》にか人間の方へ接近して来たような心持になって、同族を糾合《きゅうごう》して二本足の先生と雌雄《しゆう》を決しようなどと云《い》う量見は昨今のところ毛頭《もうとう》ない。それのみか折々は吾輩もまた人間世界の一人だと思う折さえあるくらいに進化したのはたのもしい。あえて同族を軽蔑《けいべつ》する次第ではない。ただ性情の近きところに向って一身の安きを置くは勢《いきおい》のしからしむるところで、これを変心とか、軽薄とか、裏切りとか評せられてはちと迷惑する。かような言語を弄《ろう》して人を罵詈《ばり》するものに限って融通の利《き》かぬ貧乏性の男が多いようだ。こう猫の習癖を脱化して見ると三毛子［＃「三毛子」に傍点］や黒［＃「黒」に傍点］の事ばかり荷厄介にしている訳には行かん。やはり人間同等の気位《きぐらい》で彼等の思想、言行を評隲《ひょうしつ》したくなる。これも無理はあるまい。ただそのくらいな見識を有している吾輩をやはり一般｜猫児《びょうじ》の毛の生《は》えたものくらいに思って、主人が吾輩に一言《いちごん》の挨拶もなく、吉備団子《きびだんご》をわが物顔に喰い尽したのは残念の次第である。写真もまだ撮《と》って送らぬ容子《ようす》だ。これも不平と云えば不平だが、主人は主人、吾輩は吾輩で、相互の見解が自然｜異《こと》なるのは致し方もあるまい。吾輩はどこまでも人間になりすましているのだから、交際をせぬ猫の動作は、どうしてもちょいと筆に上《のぼ》りにくい。迷亭、寒月諸先生の評判だけで御免｜蒙《こうむ》る事に致そう。

 　今日は上天気の日曜なので、主人はのそのそ書斎から出て来て、吾輩の傍《そば》へ筆硯《ふですずり》と原稿用紙を並べて腹這《はらばい》になって、しきりに何か唸《うな》っている。大方草稿を書き卸《おろ》す序開《じょびら》きとして妙な声を発するのだろうと注目していると、ややしばらくして筆太《ふでぶと》に「香一※［＃「火＋（麈−鹿）」、第3水準1-87-40］《こういっしゅ》」とかいた。はてな詩になるか、俳句になるか、香一※［＃「火＋（麈−鹿）」、第3水準1-87-40］とは、主人にしては少し洒落《しゃれ》過ぎているがと思う間もなく、彼は香一※［＃「火＋（麈−鹿）」、第3水準1-87-40］を書き放しにして、新たに行《ぎょう》を改めて「さっきから天然居士《てんねんこじ》の事をかこうと考えている」と筆を走らせた。筆はそれだけではたと留ったぎり動かない。主人は筆を持って首を捻《ひね》ったが別段名案もないものと見えて筆の穂を甞《な》めだした。唇が真黒になったと見ていると、今度はその下へちょいと丸をかいた。丸の中へ点を二つうって眼をつける。真中へ小鼻の開いた鼻をかいて、真一文字に口を横へ引張った、これでは文章でも俳句でもない。主人も自分で愛想《あいそ》が尽きたと見えて、そこそこに顔を塗り消してしまった。主人はまた行《ぎょう》を改める。彼の考によると行さえ改めれば詩か賛か語か録か何《なん》かになるだろうとただ宛《あて》もなく考えているらしい。やがて「天然居士は空間を研究し、論語を読み、焼芋《やきいも》を食い、鼻汁《はな》を垂らす人である」と言文一致体で一気呵成《いっきかせい》に書き流した、何となくごたごたした文章である。それから主人はこれを遠慮なく朗読して、いつになく「ハハハハ面白い」と笑ったが「鼻汁《はな》を垂らすのは、ちと酷《こく》だから消そう」とその句だけへ棒を引く。一本ですむところを二本引き三本引き、奇麗な併行線《へいこうせん》を描《か》く、線がほかの行《ぎょう》まで食《は》み出しても構わず引いている。線が八本並んでもあとの句が出来ないと見えて、今度は筆を捨てて髭《ひげ》を捻《ひね》って見る。文章を髭から捻り出して御覧に入れますと云う見幕《けんまく》で猛烈に捻ってはねじ上げ、ねじ下ろしているところへ、茶の間から妻君《さいくん》が出て来てぴたりと主人の鼻の先へ坐《す》わる。「あなたちょっと」と呼ぶ。「なんだ」と主人は水中で銅鑼《どら》を叩《たた》くような声を出す。返事が気に入らないと見えて妻君はまた「あなたちょっと」と出直す。「なんだよ」と今度は鼻の穴へ親指と人さし指を入れて鼻毛をぐっと抜く。「今月はちっと足りませんが……」「足りんはずはない、医者へも薬礼はすましたし、本屋へも先月払ったじゃないか。今月は余らなければならん」とすまして抜き取った鼻毛を天下の奇観のごとく眺《なが》めている。「それでもあなたが御飯を召し上らんで麺麭《パン》を御食《おた》べになったり、ジャムを御舐《おな》めになるものですから」「元来ジャムは幾缶《いくかん》舐めたのかい」「今月は八つ入《い》りましたよ」「八つ？　そんなに舐めた覚えはない」「あなたばかりじゃありません、子供も舐めます」「いくら舐めたって五六円くらいなものだ」と主人は平気な顔で鼻毛を一本一本丁寧に原稿紙の上へ植付ける。肉が付いているのでぴんと針を立てたごとくに立つ。主人は思わぬ発見をして感じ入った体《てい》で、ふっと吹いて見る。粘着力《ねんちゃくりょく》が強いので決して飛ばない。「いやに頑固《がんこ》だな」と主人は一生懸命に吹く。「ジャムばかりじゃないんです、ほかに買わなけりゃ、ならない物もあります」と妻君は大《おおい》に不平な気色《けしき》を両頬に漲《みなぎ》らす。「あるかも知れないさ」と主人はまた指を突っ込んでぐいと鼻毛を抜く。赤いのや、黒いのや、種々の色が交《まじ》る中に一本真白なのがある。大に驚いた様子で穴の開《あ》くほど眺めていた主人は指の股へ挟んだまま、その鼻毛を妻君の顔の前へ出す。「あら、いやだ」と妻君は顔をしかめて、主人の手を突き戻す。「ちょっと見ろ、鼻毛の白髪《しらが》だ」と主人は大に感動した様子である。さすがの妻君も笑いながら茶の間へ這入《はい》る。経済問題は断念したらしい。主人はまた天然居士《てんねんこじ》に取り懸《かか》る。

 　鼻毛で妻君を追払った主人は、まずこれで安心と云わぬばかりに鼻毛を抜いては原稿をかこうと焦《あせ》る体《てい》であるがなかなか筆は動かない。「焼芋を食う［＃「焼芋を食う」に傍点］も蛇足《だそく》だ、割愛《かつあい》しよう」とついにこの句も抹殺《まっさつ》する。「［＃傍点］香一※［＃「火＋（麈−鹿）」、第3水準1-87-40］［＃傍点終わり］もあまり唐突《とうとつ》だから已《や》めろ」と惜気もなく筆誅《ひっちゅう》する。余す所は「天然居士は空間を研究し論語を読む人である」と云う一句になってしまった。主人はこれでは何だか簡単過ぎるようだなと考えていたが、ええ面倒臭い、文章は御廃《おはい》しにして、銘だけにしろと、筆を十文字に揮《ふる》って原稿紙の上へ下手な文人画の蘭を勢よくかく。せっかくの苦心も一字残らず落第となった。それから裏を返して「空間に生れ、空間を究《きわ》め、空間に死す。空たり間たり天然居士《てんねんこじ》噫《ああ》」と意味不明な語を連《つら》ねているところへ例のごとく迷亭が這入《はい》って来る。迷亭は人の家《うち》も自分の家も同じものと心得ているのか案内も乞わず、ずかずか上ってくる、のみならず時には勝手口から飄然《ひょうぜん》と舞い込む事もある、心配、遠慮、気兼《きがね》、苦労、を生れる時どこかへ振り落した男である。

@@ -294,9 +283,7 @@ http://www.aozora.gr.jp/accent_separation.html
 　折柄《おりから》廊下を近《ちかづ》く足音がして障子を開ける音がする。誰か来たなと一生懸命に聞いていると「御嬢様、旦那様と奥様が呼んでいらっしゃいます」と小間使らしい声がする。「知らないよ」と令嬢は剣突《けんつく》を食わせる。「ちょっと用があるから嬢《じょう》を呼んで来いとおっしゃいました」「うるさいね、知らないてば」と令嬢は第二の剣突を食わせる。「……水島寒月さんの事で御用があるんだそうでございます」と小間使は気を利《き》かして機嫌を直そうとする。「寒月でも、水月でも知らないんだよ——大嫌いだわ、糸瓜《へちま》が戸迷《とまど》いをしたような顔をして」第三の剣突は、憐れなる寒月君が、留守中に頂戴する。「おや御前いつ束髪《そくはつ》に結《い》ったの」小間使はほっと一息ついて「今日《こんにち》」となるべく単簡《たんかん》な挨拶をする。「生意気だねえ、小間使の癖に」と第四の剣突を別方面から食わす。「そうして新しい半襟《はんえり》を掛けたじゃないか」「へえ、せんだって御嬢様からいただきましたので、結構過ぎて勿体《もったい》ないと思って行李《こうり》の中へしまっておきましたが、今までのがあまり汚《よご》れましたからかけ易《か》えました」「いつ、そんなものを上げた事があるの」「この御正月、白木屋へいらっしゃいまして、御求め遊ばしたので——鶯茶《うぐいすちゃ》へ相撲《すもう》の番附《ばんづけ》を染め出したのでございます。妾《あた》しには地味過ぎていやだから御前に上げようとおっしゃった、あれでございます」「あらいやだ。善く似合うのね。にくらしいわ」「恐れ入ります」「褒《ほ》めたんじゃない。にくらしいんだよ」「へえ」「そんなによく似合うものをなぜだまって貰ったんだい」「へえ」「御前にさえ、そのくらい似合うなら、妾《あた》しにだっておかしい事あないだろうじゃないか」「きっとよく御似合い遊ばします」「似あうのが分ってる癖になぜ黙っているんだい。そうしてすまして掛けているんだよ、人の悪い」剣突《けんつく》は留めどもなく連発される。このさき、事局はどう発展するかと謹聴している時、向うの座敷で「富子や、富子や」と大きな声で金田君が令嬢を呼ぶ。令嬢はやむを得ず「はい」と電話室を出て行く。吾輩より少し大きな狆《ちん》が顔の中心に眼と口を引き集めたような面《かお》をして付いて行く。吾輩は例の忍び足で再び勝手から往来へ出て、急いで主人の家に帰る。探険はまず十二分の成績《せいせき》である。

 　帰って見ると、奇麗な家《うち》から急に汚ない所へ移ったので、何だか日当りの善い山の上から薄黒い洞窟《どうくつ》の中へ入《はい》り込んだような心持ちがする。探険中は、ほかの事に気を奪われて部屋の装飾、襖《ふすま》、障子《しょうじ》の具合などには眼も留らなかったが、わが住居《すまい》の下等なるを感ずると同時に彼《か》のいわゆる月並《つきなみ》が恋しくなる。教師よりもやはり実業家がえらいように思われる。吾輩も少し変だと思って、例の尻尾《しっぽ》に伺いを立てて見たら、その通りその通りと尻尾の先から御託宣《ごたくせん》があった。座敷へ這入《はい》って見ると驚いたのは迷亭先生まだ帰らない、巻煙草《まきたばこ》の吸い殻を蜂の巣のごとく火鉢の中へ突き立てて、大胡坐《おおあぐら》で何か話し立てている。いつの間《ま》にか寒月君さえ来ている。主人は手枕をして天井の雨洩《あまもり》を余念もなく眺めている。あいかわらず太平の逸民の会合である。

 「寒月君、君の事を譫語《うわごと》にまで言った婦人の名は、当時秘密であったようだが、もう話しても善かろう」と迷亭がからかい出す。「御話しをしても、私だけに関する事なら差支《さしつか》えないんですが、先方の迷惑になる事ですから」「まだ駄目かなあ」「それに○○博士夫人に約束をしてしまったもんですから」「他言をしないと云う約束かね」「ええ」と寒月君は例のごとく羽織の紐《ひも》をひねくる。その紐は売品にあるまじき紫色である。「その紐の色は、ちと天保調《てんぽうちょう》だな」と主人が寝ながら云う。主人は金田事件などには無頓着である。「そうさ、到底《とうてい》日露戦争時代のものではないな。陣笠《じんがさ》に立葵《たちあおい》の紋の付いたぶっ割《さ》き羽織でも着なくっちゃ納まりの付かない紐だ。織田信長が聟入《むこいり》をするとき頭の髪を茶筌《ちゃせん》に結《い》ったと云うがその節用いたのは、たしかそんな紐だよ」と迷亭の文句はあいかわらず長い。「実際これは爺《じじい》が長州征伐の時に用いたのです」と寒月君は真面目である。「もういい加減に博物館へでも献納してはどうだ。首縊りの力学［＃「首縊りの力学」に傍点］の演者、理学士水島寒月君ともあろうものが、売れ残りの旗本のような出《い》で立《たち》をするのはちと体面に関する訳だから」「御忠告の通りに致してもいいのですが、この紐が大変よく似合うと云ってくれる人もありますので——」「誰だい、そんな趣味のない事を云うのは」と主人は寝返りを打ちながら大きな声を出す。「それは御存じの方なんじゃないんで——」「御存じでなくてもいいや、一体誰だい」「去る女性《にょしょう》なんです」「ハハハハハよほど茶人だなあ、当てて見ようか、やはり隅田川の底から君の名を呼んだ女なんだろう、その羽織を着てもう一返｜御駄仏《おだぶつ》を極《き》め込んじゃどうだい」と迷亭が横合から飛び出す。「へへへへへもう水底から呼んではおりません。ここから乾《いぬい》の方角にあたる清浄《しょうじょう》な世界で……」「あんまり清浄でもなさそうだ、毒々しい鼻だぜ」「へえ？」と寒月は不審な顔をする。「向う横丁の鼻がさっき押しかけて来たんだよ、ここへ、実に僕等二人は驚いたよ、ねえ苦沙弥君」「うむ」と主人は寝ながら茶を飲む。「鼻って誰の事です」「君の親愛なる久遠《くおん》の女性《にょしょう》の御母堂様だ」「へえー」「金田の妻《さい》という女が君の事を聞きに来たよ」と主人が真面目に説明してやる。驚くか、嬉しがるか、恥ずかしがるかと寒月君の様子を窺《うかが》って見ると別段の事もない。例の通り静かな調子で「どうか私に、あの娘を貰ってくれと云う依頼なんでしょう」と、また紫の紐をひねくる。「ところが大違さ。その御母堂なるものが偉大なる鼻の所有｜主《ぬし》でね……」迷亭が半《なか》ば言い懸けると、主人が「おい君、僕はさっきから、あの鼻について俳体詩《はいたいし》を考えているんだがね」と木に竹を接《つ》いだような事を云う。隣の室《へや》で妻君がくすくす笑い出す。「随分君も呑気《のんき》だなあ出来たのかい」「少し出来た。第一句がこの顔に鼻祭り［＃「この顔に鼻祭り」に傍点］と云うのだ」「それから？」「次がこの鼻に神酒供え［＃「この鼻に神酒供え」に傍点］というのさ」「次の句は？」「まだそれぎりしか出来ておらん」「面白いですな」と寒月君がにやにや笑う。「次へ穴二つ幽かなり［＃「穴二つ幽かなり」に傍点］と付けちゃどうだ」と迷亭はすぐ出来る。すると寒月が「奥深く毛も見えず［＃「奥深く毛も見えず」に傍点］はいけますまいか」と各々《おのおの》出鱈目《でたらめ》を並べていると、垣根に近く、往来で「今戸焼《いまどやき》の狸《たぬき》今戸焼の狸」と四五人わいわい云う声がする。主人も迷亭もちょっと驚ろいて表の方を、垣の隙《すき》からすかして見ると「ワハハハハハ」と笑う声がして遠くへ散る足の音がする。「今戸焼の狸というな何だい」と迷亭が不思議そうに主人に聞く。「何だか分らん」と主人が答える。「なかなか振《ふる》っていますな」と寒月君が批評を加える。迷亭は何を思い出したか急に立ち上って「吾輩は年来美学上の見地からこの鼻について研究した事がございますから、その一斑《いっぱん》を披瀝《ひれき》して、御両君の清聴を煩《わずら》わしたいと思います」と演舌の真似をやる。主人はあまりの突然にぼんやりして無言のまま迷亭を見ている。寒月は「是非｜承《うけたまわ》りたいものです」と小声で云う。「いろいろ調べて見ましたが鼻の起源はどうも確《しか》と分りません。第一の不審は、もしこれを実用上の道具と仮定すれば穴が二つでたくさんである。何もこんなに横風《おうふう》に真中から突き出して見る必用がないのである。ところがどうしてだんだん御覧のごとく斯様《かよう》にせり出して参ったか」と自分の鼻を抓《つま》んで見せる。「あんまりせり出してもおらんじゃないか」と主人は御世辞のないところを云う。「とにかく引っ込んではおりませんからな。ただ二個の孔《あな》が併《なら》んでいる状体と混同なすっては、誤解を生ずるに至るかも計られませんから、予《あらかじ》め御注意をしておきます。——で愚見によりますと鼻の発達は吾々人間が鼻汁《はな》をかむと申す微細なる行為の結果が自然と蓄積してかく著明なる現象を呈出したものでございます」「佯《いつわ》りのない愚見だ」とまた主人が寸評を挿入《そうにゅう》する。「御承知の通り鼻汁《はな》をかむ時は、是非鼻を抓みます、鼻を抓んで、ことにこの局部だけに刺激を与えますと、進化論の大原則によって、この局部はこの刺激に応ずるがため他に比例して不相当な発達を致します。皮も自然堅くなります、肉も次第に硬《かた》くなります。ついに凝《こ》って骨となります」「それは少し——そう自由に肉が骨に一足飛に変化は出来ますまい」と理学士だけあって寒月君が抗議を申し込む。迷亭は何喰わぬ顔で陳《の》べ続ける。「いや御不審はごもっともですが論より証拠この通り骨があるから仕方がありません。すでに骨が出来る。骨は出来ても鼻汁《はな》は出ますな。出ればかまずにはいられません。この作用で骨の左右が削《けず》り取られて細い高い隆起と変化して参ります——実に恐ろしい作用です。点滴《てんてき》の石を穿《うが》つがごとく、賓頭顱《びんずる》の頭が自《おのず》から光明を放つがごとく、不思議薫《ふしぎくん》不思議臭《ふしぎしゅう》の喩《たとえ》のごとく、斯様《かよう》に鼻筋が通って堅くなります」［＃「なります」」は底本では「なります。」］「それでも君のなんぞ、ぶくぶくだぜ」「演者自身の局部は回護《かいご》の恐れがありますから、わざと論じません。かの金田の御母堂の持たせらるる鼻のごときは、もっとも発達せるもっとも偉大なる天下の珍品として御両君に紹介しておきたいと思います」寒月君は思わずヒヤヤヤと云う。「しかし物も極度に達しますと偉観には相違ございませんが何となく怖《おそろ》しくて近づき難いものであります。あの鼻梁《びりょう》などは素晴しいには違いございませんが、少々｜峻嶮《しゅんけん》過ぎるかと思われます。古人のうちにてもソクラチス、ゴールドスミスもしくはサッカレーの鼻などは構造の上から云うと随分申し分はございましょうがその申し分のあるところに愛嬌《あいきょう》がございます。鼻高きが故に貴《たっと》からず、奇《き》なるがために貴しとはこの故でもございましょうか。下世話《げせわ》にも鼻より団子と申しますれば美的価値から申しますとまず迷亭くらいのところが適当かと存じます」寒月と主人は「フフフフ」と笑い出す。迷亭自身も愉快そうに笑う。「さてただ今《いま》まで弁じましたのは——」「先生弁じました［＃「弁じました」に傍点］は少し講釈師のようで下品ですから、よしていただきましょう」と寒月君は先日の復讐《ふくしゅう》をやる。「さようしからば顔を洗って出直しましょうかな。——ええ——これから鼻と顔の権衡《けんこう》に一言《いちごん》論及したいと思います。他に関係なく単独に鼻論をやりますと、かの御母堂などはどこへ出しても恥ずかしからぬ鼻——鞍馬山《くらまやま》で展覧会があっても恐らく一等賞だろうと思われるくらいな鼻を所有していらせられますが、悲しいかなあれは眼、口、その他の諸先生と何等の相談もなく出来上った鼻であります。ジュリアス・シーザーの鼻は大したものに相違ございません。しかしシーザーの鼻を鋏《はさみ》でちょん切って、当家の猫の顔へ安置したらどんな者でございましょうか。喩《たと》えにも猫の額《ひたい》と云うくらいな地面へ、英雄の鼻柱が突兀《とっこつ》として聳《そび》えたら、碁盤の上へ奈良の大仏を据《す》え付けたようなもので、少しく比例を失するの極、その美的価値を落す事だろうと思います。御母堂の鼻はシーザーのそれのごとく、正《まさ》しく英姿颯爽《えいしさっそう》たる隆起に相違ございません。しかしその周囲を囲繞《いにょう》する顔面的条件は如何《いかが》な者でありましょう。無論当家の猫のごとく劣等ではない。しかし癲癇病《てんかんや》みの御かめ［＃「御かめ」に傍点］のごとく眉《まゆ》の根に八字を刻んで、細い眼を釣るし上げらるるのは事実であります。諸君、この顔にしてこの鼻ありと嘆ぜざるを得んではありませんか」迷亭の言葉が少し途切れる途端《とたん》、裏の方で「まだ鼻の話しをしているんだよ。何てえ剛突《ごうつ》く張《ばり》だろう」と云う声が聞える。「車屋の神さんだ」と主人が迷亭に教えてやる。迷亭はまたやり初める。「計らざる裏手にあたって、新たに異性の傍聴者のある事を発見したのは演者の深く名誉と思うところであります。ことに宛転《えんてん》たる嬌音《きょうおん》をもって、乾燥なる講筵《こうえん》に一点の艶味《えんみ》を添えられたのは実に望外の幸福であります。なるべく通俗的に引き直して佳人淑女《かじんしゅくじょ》の眷顧《けんこ》に背《そむ》かざらん事を期する訳でありますが、これからは少々力学上の問題に立ち入りますので、勢《いきおい》御婦人方には御分りにくいかも知れません、どうか御辛防《ごしんぼう》を願います」寒月君は力学と云う語を聞いてまたにやにやする。「私の証拠立てようとするのは、この鼻とこの顔は到底調和しない。ツァイシングの黄金律［＃「黄金律」に傍点］を失していると云う事なんで、それを厳格に力学上の公式から演繹《えんえき》して御覧に入れようと云うのであります。まずＨを鼻の高さとします。αは鼻と顔の平面の交叉より生ずる角度であります。Ｗは無論鼻の重量と御承知下さい。どうです大抵お分りになりましたか。……」「分るものか」と主人が云う。「寒月君はどうだい」「私にもちと分りかねますな」「そりゃ困ったな。苦沙弥《くしゃみ》はとにかく、君は理学士だから分るだろうと思ったのに。この式が演説の首脳なんだからこれを略しては今までやった甲斐《かい》がないのだが——まあ仕方がない。公式は略して結論だけ話そう」「結論があるか」と主人が不思議そうに聞く。「当り前さ結論のない演舌は、デザートのない西洋料理のようなものだ、——いいか両君｜能《よ》く聞き給え、これからが結論だぜ。——さて以上の公式にウィルヒョウ、ワイスマン諸家の説を参酌して考えて見ますと、先天的形体の遺伝は無論の事許さねばなりません。またこの形体に追陪《ついばい》して起る心意的状況は、たとい後天性は遺伝するものにあらずとの有力なる説あるにも関せず、ある程度までは必然の結果と認めねばなりません。従ってかくのごとく身分に不似合なる鼻の持主の生んだ子には、その鼻にも何か異状がある事と察せられます。寒月君などは、まだ年が御若いから金田令嬢の鼻の構造において特別の異状を認められんかも知れませんが、かかる遺伝は潜伏期の長いものでありますから、いつ何時《なんどき》気候の劇変と共に、急に発達して御母堂のそれのごとく、咄嗟《とっさ》の間《かん》に膨脹《ぼうちょう》するかも知れません、それ故にこの御婚儀は、迷亭の学理的論証によりますと、今の中御断念になった方が安全かと思われます、これには当家の御主人は無論の事、そこに寝ておらるる猫又殿《ねこまたどの》にも御異存は無かろうと存じます」主人はようよう起き返って「そりゃ無論さ。あんなものの娘を誰が貰うものか。寒月君もらっちゃいかんよ」と大変熱心に主張する。吾輩もいささか賛成の意を表するためににゃーにゃーと二声ばかり鳴いて見せる。寒月君は別段騒いだ様子もなく「先生方の御意向がそうなら、私は断念してもいいんですが、もし当人がそれを気にして病気にでもなったら罪ですから——」「ハハハハハ艶罪《えんざい》と云う訳《わけ》だ」主人だけは大《おおい》にむきになって「そんな馬鹿があるものか、あいつの娘なら碌《ろく》な者でないに極《きま》ってらあ。初めて人のうちへ来ておれをやり込めに掛った奴だ。傲慢《ごうまん》な奴だ」と独《ひと》りでぷんぷんする。するとまた垣根のそばで三四人が「ワハハハハハ」と云う声がする。一人が「高慢ちきな唐変木《とうへんぼく》だ」と云うと一人が「もっと大きな家《うち》へ這入《はい》りてえだろう」と云う。また一人が「御気の毒だが、いくら威張ったって蔭弁慶《かげべんけい》だ」と大きな声をする。主人は椽側《えんがわ》へ出て負けないような声で「やかましい、何だわざわざそんな塀《へい》の下へ来て」と怒鳴《どな》る。「ワハハハハハサヴェジ・チーだ、サヴェジ・チーだ」と口々に罵《のの》しる。主人は大《おおい》に逆鱗《げきりん》の体《てい》で突然｜起《た》ってステッキを持って、往来へ飛び出す。迷亭は手を拍《う》って「面白い、やれやれ」と云う。寒月は羽織の紐を撚《ひね》ってにやにやする。吾輩は主人のあとを付けて垣の崩れから往来へ出て見たら、真中に主人が手持無沙汰にステッキを突いて立っている。人通りは一人もない、ちょっと狐《きつね》に抓《つま》まれた体《てい》である。

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 ［＃８字下げ］四［＃「四」は中見出し］

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 　例によって金田邸へ忍び込む。

 　例によって［＃「例によって」に傍点］とは今更《いまさら》解釈する必要もない。しばしば［＃「しばしば」に傍点］を自乗《じじょう》したほどの度合を示す語《ことば》である。一度やった事は二度やりたいもので、二度試みた事は三度試みたいのは人間にのみ限らるる好奇心ではない、猫といえどもこの心理的特権を有してこの世界に生れ出でたものと認定していただかねばならぬ。三度以上繰返す時始めて習慣なる語を冠せられて、この行為が生活上の必要と進化するのもまた人間と相違はない。何のために、かくまで足繁《あししげ》く金田邸へ通うのかと不審を起すならその前にちょっと人間に反問したい事がある。なぜ人間は口から煙を吸い込んで鼻から吐き出すのであるか、腹の足《た》しにも血の道の薬にもならないものを、恥《はず》かし気《げ》もなく吐呑《とどん》して憚《はば》からざる以上は、吾輩が金田に出入《しゅつにゅう》するのを、あまり大きな声で咎《とが》め立《だ》てをして貰いたくない。金田邸は吾輩の煙草《たばこ》である。

 　忍び込む［＃「忍び込む」に傍点］と云うと語弊がある、何だか泥棒か間男《まおとこ》のようで聞き苦しい。吾輩が金田邸へ行くのは、招待こそ受けないが、決して鰹《かつお》の切身《きりみ》をちょろまかしたり、眼鼻が顔の中心に痙攣的《けいれんてき》に密着している狆《ちん》君などと密談するためではない。——何探偵？——もってのほかの事である。およそ世の中に何が賤《いや》しい家業《かぎょう》だと云って探偵と高利貸ほど下等な職はないと思っている。なるほど寒月君のために猫にあるまじきほどの義侠心《ぎきょうしん》を起して、一度《ひとたび》は金田家の動静を余所《よそ》ながら窺《うかが》った事はあるが、それはただの一遍で、その後は決して猫の良心に恥ずるような陋劣《ろうれつ》な振舞を致した事はない。——そんなら、なぜ忍び込む［＃「忍び込む」に傍点］と云《い》うような胡乱《うろん》な文字を使用した？——さあ、それがすこぶる意味のある事だて。元来吾輩の考によると大空《たいくう》は万物を覆《おお》うため大地は万物を載《の》せるために出来ている——いかに執拗《しつよう》な議論を好む人間でもこの事実を否定する訳には行くまい。さてこの大空大地《たいくうだいち》を製造するために彼等人類はどのくらいの労力を費《つい》やしているかと云うと尺寸《せきすん》の手伝もしておらぬではないか。自分が製造しておらぬものを自分の所有と極《き》める法はなかろう。自分の所有と極めても差《さ》し支《つか》えないが他の出入《しゅつにゅう》を禁ずる理由はあるまい。この茫々《ぼうぼう》たる大地を、小賢《こざか》しくも垣を囲《めぐ》らし棒杭《ぼうぐい》を立てて某々所有地などと劃《かく》し限るのはあたかもかの蒼天《そうてん》に縄張《なわばり》して、この部分は我《われ》の天、あの部分は彼《かれ》の天と届け出るような者だ。もし土地を切り刻んで一坪いくらの所有権を売買するなら我等が呼吸する空気を一尺立方に割って切売をしても善い訳である。空気の切売が出来ず、空の縄張が不当なら地面の私有も不合理ではないか。如是観《にょぜかん》によりて、如是法《にょぜほう》を信じている吾輩はそれだからどこへでも這入《はい》って行く。もっとも行きたくない処へは行かぬが、志す方角へは東西南北の差別は入らぬ、平気な顔をして、のそのそと参る。金田ごときものに遠慮をする訳がない。——しかし猫の悲しさは力ずくでは到底《とうてい》人間には叶《かな》わない。強勢は権利なりとの格言さえあるこの浮世に存在する以上は、いかにこっちに道理があっても猫の議論は通らない。無理に通そうとすると車屋の黒のごとく不意に肴屋《さかなや》の天秤棒《てんびんぼう》を喰《くら》う恐れがある。理はこっちにあるが権力は向うにあると云う場合に、理を曲げて一も二もなく屈従するか、または権力の目を掠《かす》めて我理を貫くかと云えば、吾輩は無論後者を択《えら》ぶのである。天秤棒は避けざるべからざるが故に、忍［＃「忍」に傍点］ばざるべからず。人の邸内へは這入り込んで差支《さしつか》えなき故込［＃「込」に傍点］まざるを得ず。この故に吾輩は金田邸へ忍び込む［＃「忍び込む」に傍点］のである。

@@ -505,9 +492,7 @@ http://www.aozora.gr.jp/accent_separation.html
 「黙っていろ。サントブーヴだって俺だって同じくらいな学者だ」

 「大変な見識だな。しかし懐剣をもって歩行《ある》くだけはあぶないから真似《まね》ない方がいいよ。大学の教師が懐剣ならリードルの教師はまあ小刀《こがたな》くらいなところだな。しかしそれにしても刃物は剣呑《けんのん》だから仲見世《なかみせ》へ行っておもちゃの空気銃を買って来て背負《しょ》ってあるくがよかろう。愛嬌《あいきょう》があっていい。ねえ鈴木君」と云うと鈴木君はようやく話が金田事件を離れたのでほっと一息つきながら

 「相変らず無邪気で愉快だ。十年振りで始めて君等に逢ったんで何だか窮屈な路次《ろじ》から広い野原へ出たような気持がする。どうも我々仲間の談話は少しも油断がならなくてね。何を云うにも気をおかなくちゃならんから心配で窮屈で実に苦しいよ。話は罪がないのがいいね。そして昔しの書生時代の友達と話すのが一番遠慮がなくっていい。ああ今日は図《はか》らず迷亭君に遇《あ》って愉快だった。僕はちと用事があるからこれで失敬する」と鈴木君が立ち懸《か》けると、迷亭も「僕もいこう、僕はこれから日本橋の演芸《えんげい》矯風会《きょうふうかい》に行かなくっちゃならんから、そこまでいっしょに行こう」「そりゃちょうどいい久し振りでいっしょに散歩しよう」と両君は手を携《たずさ》えて帰る。

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 ［＃８字下げ］五［＃「五」は中見出し］

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 　二十四時間の出来事を洩《も》れなく書いて、洩れなく読むには少なくも二十四時間かかるだろう、いくら写生文を鼓吹《こすい》する吾輩でもこれは到底猫の企《くわだ》て及ぶべからざる芸当と自白せざるを得ない。従っていかに吾輩の主人が、二六時中精細なる描写に価する奇言奇行を弄《ろう》するにも関《かかわ》らず逐一これを読者に報知するの能力と根気のないのははなはだ遺憾《いかん》である。遺憾ではあるがやむを得ない。休養は猫といえども必要である。鈴木君と迷亭君の帰ったあとは木枯《こがら》しのはたと吹き息《や》んで、しんしんと降る雪の夜のごとく静かになった。主人は例のごとく書斎へ引き籠《こも》る。小供は六畳の間《ま》へ枕をならべて寝る。一間半の襖《ふすま》を隔てて南向の室《へや》には細君が数え年三つになる、めん子さんと添乳《そえぢ》して横になる。花曇りに暮れを急いだ日は疾《と》く落ちて、表を通る駒下駄の音さえ手に取るように茶の間へ響く。隣町《となりちょう》の下宿で明笛《みんてき》を吹くのが絶えたり続いたりして眠い耳底《じてい》に折々鈍い刺激を与える。外面《そと》は大方｜朧《おぼろ》であろう。晩餐に半《はん》ぺんの煮汁《だし》で鮑貝《あわびがい》をからにした腹ではどうしても休養が必要である。

 　ほのかに承《うけたま》われば世間には猫の恋とか称する俳諧《はいかい》趣味の現象があって、春さきは町内の同族共の夢安からぬまで浮かれ歩《あ》るく夜もあるとか云うが、吾輩はまだかかる心的変化に遭逢《そうほう》した事はない。そもそも恋は宇宙的の活力である。上《かみ》は在天の神ジュピターより下《しも》は土中に鳴く蚯蚓《みみず》、おけらに至るまでこの道にかけて浮身を窶《やつ》すのが万物の習いであるから、吾輩どもが朧《おぼろ》うれしと、物騒な風流気を出すのも無理のない話しである。回顧すればかく云《い》う吾輩も三毛子《みけこ》に思い焦《こ》がれた事もある。三角主義の張本金田君の令嬢阿倍川の富子さえ寒月君に恋慕したと云う噂《うわさ》である。それだから千金の春宵《しゅんしょう》を心も空に満天下の雌猫雄猫《めねこおねこ》が狂い廻るのを煩悩《ぼんのう》の迷《まよい》のと軽蔑《けいべつ》する念は毛頭ないのであるが、いかんせん誘われてもそんな心が出ないから仕方がない。吾輩目下の状態はただ休養を欲するのみである。こう眠くては恋も出来ぬ。のそのそと小供の布団《ふとん》の裾《すそ》へ廻って心地快《ここちよ》く眠る。……

 　ふと眼を開《あ》いて見ると主人はいつの間《ま》にか書斎から寝室へ来て細君の隣に延べてある布団《ふとん》の中にいつの間にか潜《もぐ》り込んでいる。主人の癖として寝る時は必ず横文字の小本《こほん》を書斎から携《たずさ》えて来る。しかし横になってこの本を二｜頁《ページ》と続けて読んだ事はない。ある時は持って来て枕元へ置いたなり、まるで手を触れぬ事さえある。一行も読まぬくらいならわざわざ提《さ》げてくる必要もなさそうなものだが、そこが主人の主人たるところでいくら細君が笑っても、止せと云っても、決して承知しない。毎夜読まない本をご苦労千万にも寝室まで運んでくる。ある時は慾張って三四冊も抱えて来る。せんだってじゅうは毎晩ウェブスターの大字典さえ抱えて来たくらいである。思うにこれは主人の病気で贅沢《ぜいたく》な人が竜文堂《りゅうぶんどう》に鳴る松風の音を聞かないと寝つかれないごとく、主人も書物を枕元に置かないと眠れないのであろう、して見ると主人に取っては書物は読む者ではない眠を誘う器械である。活版の睡眠剤である。

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 　吾輩が風呂場へ廻ると、敵は戸棚から馳け出し、戸棚を警戒すると流しから飛び上り、台所の真中に頑張《がんば》っていると三方面共少々ずつ騒ぎ立てる。小癪《こしゃく》と云おうか、卑怯《ひきょう》と云おうかとうてい彼等は君子の敵でない。吾輩は十五六回はあちら、こちらと気を疲らし心《しん》を労《つか》らして奔走努力して見たがついに一度も成功しない。残念ではあるがかかる小人《しょうじん》を敵にしてはいかなる東郷大将も施《ほど》こすべき策がない。始めは勇気もあり敵愾心《てきがいしん》もあり悲壮と云う崇高な美感さえあったがついには面倒と馬鹿気ているのと眠いのと疲れたので台所の真中へ坐ったなり動かない事になった。しかし動かんでも八方睨《はっぽうにら》みを極《き》め込んでいれば敵は小人だから大した事は出来んのである。目ざす敵と思った奴が、存外けちな野郎だと、戦争が名誉だと云う感じが消えて悪《に》くいと云う念だけ残る。悪《に》くいと云う念を通り過すと張り合が抜けてぼーとする。ぼーとしたあとは勝手にしろ、どうせ気の利《き》いた事は出来ないのだからと軽蔑《けいべつ》の極《きょく》眠《ねむ》たくなる。吾輩は以上の径路をたどって、ついに眠くなった。吾輩は眠る。休養は敵中に在《あ》っても必要である。

 　横向に庇《ひさし》を向いて開いた引窓から、また花吹雪《はなふぶき》を一塊《ひとかたま》りなげ込んで、烈しき風の吾を遶《めぐ》ると思えば、戸棚の口から弾丸のごとく飛び出した者が、避くる間《ま》もあらばこそ、風を切って吾輩の左の耳へ喰いつく。これに続く黒い影は後《うし》ろに廻るかと思う間もなく吾輩の尻尾《しっぽ》へぶら下がる。瞬《またた》く間の出来事である。吾輩は何の目的もなく器械的に跳上《はねあが》る。満身の力を毛穴に込めてこの怪物を振り落とそうとする。耳に喰い下がったのは中心を失ってだらりと吾が横顔に懸る。護謨管《ゴムかん》のごとき柔かき尻尾の先が思い掛なく吾輩の口に這入る。屈竟《くっきょう》の手懸《てがか》りに、砕《くだ》けよとばかり尾を啣《くわ》えながら左右にふると、尾のみは前歯の間に残って胴体は古新聞で張った壁に当って、揚板の上に跳《は》ね返る。起き上がるところを隙間《すきま》なく乗《の》し掛《かか》れば、毬《まり》を蹴《け》たるごとく、吾輩の鼻づらを掠《かす》めて釣り段の縁《ふち》に足を縮めて立つ。彼は棚の上から吾輩を見おろす、吾輩は板の間から彼を見上ぐる。距離は五尺。その中に月の光りが、大幅《おおはば》の帯を空《くう》に張るごとく横に差し込む。吾輩は前足に力を込めて、やっとばかり棚の上に飛び上がろうとした。前足だけは首尾よく棚の縁《ふち》にかかったが後足《あとあし》は宙にもがいている。尻尾には最前の黒いものが、死ぬとも離るまじき勢で喰い下っている。吾輩は危《あや》うい。前足を懸《か》け易《か》えて足懸《あしがか》りを深くしようとする。懸け易える度に尻尾の重みで浅くなる。二三分《にさんぶ》滑れば落ちねばならぬ。吾輩はいよいよ危うい。棚板を爪で掻《か》きむしる音ががりがりと聞える。これではならぬと左の前足を抜き易える拍子に、爪を見事に懸け損じたので吾輩は右の爪一本で棚からぶら下った。自分と尻尾に喰いつくものの重みで吾輩のからだがぎりぎりと廻わる。この時まで身動きもせずに覘《ねら》いをつけていた棚の上の怪物は、ここぞと吾輩の額を目懸けて棚の上から石を投ぐるがごとく飛び下りる。吾輩の爪は一縷《いちる》のかかりを失う。三つの塊《かた》まりが一つとなって月の光を竪《たて》に切って下へ落ちる。次の段に乗せてあった摺鉢《すりばち》と、摺鉢の中の小桶《こおけ》とジャムの空缶《あきかん》が同じく一塊《ひとかたまり》となって、下にある火消壺を誘って、半分は水甕《みずがめ》の中、半分は板の間の上へ転がり出す。すべてが深夜にただならぬ物音を立てて死物狂いの吾輩の魂をさえ寒からしめた。

 「泥棒！」と主人は胴間声《どうまごえ》を張り上げて寝室から飛び出して来る。見ると片手にはランプを提《さ》げ、片手にはステッキを持って、寝ぼけ眼《まなこ》よりは身分相応の炯々《けいけい》たる光を放っている。吾輩は鮑貝《あわびがい》の傍《そば》におとなしくして蹲踞《うずくま》る。二疋の怪物は戸棚の中へ姿をかくす。主人は手持無沙汰に「何だ誰だ、大きな音をさせたのは」と怒気を帯びて相手もいないのに聞いている。月が西に傾いたので、白い光りの一帯は半切《はんきれ》ほどに細くなった。

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 ［＃８字下げ］六［＃「六」は中見出し］

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 　こう暑くては猫といえどもやり切れない。皮を脱いで、肉を脱いで骨だけで涼みたいものだと英吉利《イギリス》のシドニー・スミスとか云う人が苦しがったと云う話があるが、たとい骨だけにならなくとも好いから、せめてこの淡灰色の斑入《ふいり》の毛衣《けごろも》だけはちょっと洗い張りでもするか、もしくは当分の中《うち》質にでも入れたいような気がする。人間から見たら猫などは年が年中同じ顔をして、春夏秋冬一枚看板で押し通す、至って単純な無事な銭《ぜに》のかからない生涯《しょうがい》を送っているように思われるかも知れないが、いくら猫だって相応に暑さ寒さの感じはある。たまには行水《ぎょうずい》の一度くらいあびたくない事もないが、何しろこの毛衣の上から湯を使った日には乾かすのが容易な事でないから汗臭いのを我慢してこの年になるまで洗湯の暖簾《のれん》を潜《くぐ》った事はない。折々は団扇《うちわ》でも使って見ようと云う気も起らんではないが、とにかく握る事が出来ないのだから仕方がない。それを思うと人間は贅沢《ぜいたく》なものだ。なまで食ってしかるべきものをわざわざ煮て見たり、焼いて見たり、酢《す》に漬《つ》けて見たり、味噌《みそ》をつけて見たり好んで余計な手数《てすう》を懸けて御互に恐悦している。着物だってそうだ。猫のように一年中同じ物を着通せと云うのは、不完全に生れついた彼等にとって、ちと無理かも知れんが、なにもあんなに雑多なものを皮膚の上へ載《の》せて暮さなくてもの事だ。羊の御厄介になったり、蚕《かいこ》の御世話になったり、綿畠の御情《おなさ》けさえ受けるに至っては贅沢《ぜいたく》は無能の結果だと断言しても好いくらいだ。衣食はまず大目に見て勘弁するとしたところで、生存上直接の利害もないところまでこの調子で押して行くのは毫《ごう》も合点《がてん》が行かぬ。第一頭の毛などと云うものは自然に生えるものだから、放《ほう》っておく方がもっとも簡便で当人のためになるだろうと思うのに、彼等は入らぬ算段をして種々雑多な恰好《かっこう》をこしらえて得意である。坊主とか自称するものはいつ見ても頭を青くしている。暑いとその上へ日傘をかぶる。寒いと頭巾《ずきん》で包む。これでは何のために青い物を出しているのか主意が立たんではないか。そうかと思うと櫛《くし》とか称する無意味な鋸様《のこぎりよう》の道具を用いて頭の毛を左右に等分して嬉しがってるのもある。等分にしないと七分三分の割合で頭蓋骨《ずがいこつ》の上へ人為的の区劃《くかく》を立てる。中にはこの仕切りがつむじ［＃「つむじ」に傍点］を通り過して後《うし》ろまで食《は》み出しているのがある。まるで贋造《がんぞう》の芭蕉葉《ばしょうは》のようだ。その次には脳天を平らに刈って左右は真直に切り落す。丸い頭へ四角な枠《わく》をはめているから、植木屋を入れた杉垣根の写生としか受け取れない。このほか五分刈、三分刈、一分刈さえあると云う話だから、しまいには頭の裏まで刈り込んでマイナス一分刈、マイナス三分刈などと云う新奇な奴が流行するかも知れない。とにかくそんなに憂身《うきみ》を窶《やつ》してどうするつもりか分らん。第一、足が四本あるのに二本しか使わないと云うのから贅沢だ。四本であるけばそれだけはかも行く訳だのに、いつでも二本ですまして、残る二本は到来の棒鱈《ぼうだら》のように手持無沙汰にぶら下げているのは馬鹿馬鹿しい。これで見ると人間はよほど猫より閑《ひま》なもので退屈のあまりかようないたずらを考案して楽んでいるものと察せられる。ただおかしいのはこの閑人《ひまじん》がよると障《さ》わると多忙だ多忙だと触れ廻わるのみならず、その顔色がいかにも多忙らしい、わるくすると多忙に食い殺されはしまいかと思われるほどこせつい［＃「こせつい」に傍点］ている。彼等のあるものは吾輩を見て時々あんなになったら気楽でよかろうなどと云うが、気楽でよければなるが好い。そんなにこせこせしてくれと誰も頼んだ訳でもなかろう。自分で勝手な用事を手に負えぬほど製造して苦しい苦しいと云うのは自分で火をかんかん起して暑い暑いと云うようなものだ。猫だって頭の刈り方を二十通りも考え出す日には、こう気楽にしてはおられんさ。気楽になりたければ吾輩のように夏でも毛衣《けごろも》を着て通されるだけの修業をするがよろしい。——とは云うものの少々熱い。毛衣では全く熱《あ》つ過ぎる。

 　これでは一手専売の昼寝も出来ない。何かないかな、永らく人間社会の観察を怠《おこた》ったから、今日は久し振りで彼等が酔興に齷齪《あくせく》する様子を拝見しようかと考えて見たが、生憎《あいにく》主人はこの点に関してすこぶる猫に近い性分《しょうぶん》である。昼寝は吾輩に劣らぬくらいやるし、ことに暑中休暇後になってからは何一つ人間らしい仕事をせんので、いくら観察をしても一向《いっこう》観察する張合がない。こんな時に迷亭でも来ると胃弱性の皮膚も幾分か反応を呈して、しばらくでも猫に遠ざかるだろうに、先生もう来ても好い時だと思っていると、誰とも知らず風呂場でざあざあ水を浴びるものがある。水を浴びる音ばかりではない、折々大きな声で相の手を入れている。「いや結構」「どうも良い心持ちだ」「もう一杯」などと家中《うちじゅう》に響き渡るような声を出す。主人のうちへ来てこんな大きな声と、こんな無作法《ぶさほう》な真似をやるものはほかにはない。迷亭に極《きま》っている。

 　いよいよ来たな、これで今日半日は潰《つぶ》せると思っていると、先生汗を拭《ふ》いて肩を入れて例のごとく座敷までずかずか上って来て「奥さん、苦沙弥《くしゃみ》君はどうしました」と呼ばわりながら帽子を畳の上へ抛《ほう》り出す。細君は隣座敷で針箱の側《そば》へ突っ伏して好い心持ちに寝ている最中にワンワンと何だか鼓膜へ答えるほどの響がしたのではっと驚ろいて、醒《さ》めぬ眼をわざと※［＃「目＋爭」、第3水準1-88-85］《みは》って座敷へ出て来ると迷亭が薩摩上布《さつまじょうふ》を着て勝手な所へ陣取ってしきりに扇使いをしている。

@@ -778,9 +761,7 @@ http://www.aozora.gr.jp/accent_separation.html
 「誰も口にせぬ者はないが、誰も見たものはない。誰も聞いた事はあるが、誰も遇《あ》った者がない。大和魂はそれ天狗《てんぐ》の類《たぐい》か」

 　主人は一結杳然《いっけつようぜん》と云うつもりで読み終ったが、さすがの名文もあまり短か過ぎるのと、主意がどこにあるのか分りかねるので、三人はまだあとがある事と思って待っている。いくら待っていても、うんとも、すんとも、云わないので、最後に寒月が「それぎりですか」と聞くと主人は軽《かろ》く「うん」と答えた。うんは少し気楽過ぎる。

 　不思議な事に迷亭はこの名文に対して、いつものようにあまり駄弁を振わなかったが、やがて向き直って、「君も短篇を集めて一巻として、そうして誰かに捧げてはどうだ」と聞いた。主人は事もなげに「君に捧げてやろうか」と聴くと迷亭は「真平《まっぴら》だ」と答えたぎり、先刻《さっき》細君に見せびらかした鋏《はさみ》をちょきちょき云わして爪をとっている。寒月君は東風君に向って「君はあの金田の令嬢を知ってるのかい」と尋ねる。「この春朗読会へ招待してから、懇意になってそれからは始終交際をしている。僕はあの令嬢の前へ出ると、何となく一種の感に打たれて、当分のうちは詩を作っても歌を詠《よ》んでも愉快に興が乗って出て来る。この集中にも恋の詩が多いのは全くああ云う異性の朋友《ほうゆう》からインスピレーションを受けるからだろうと思う。それで僕はあの令嬢に対しては切実に感謝の意を表しなければならんからこの機を利用して、わが集を捧げる事にしたのさ。昔《むか》しから婦人に親友のないもので立派な詩をかいたものはないそうだ」「そうかなあ」と寒月君は顔の奥で笑いながら答えた。いくら駄弁家の寄合でもそう長くは続かんものと見えて、談話の火の手は大分《だいぶ》下火になった。吾輩も彼等の変化なき雑談を終日聞かねばならぬ義務もないから、失敬して庭へ蟷螂《かまきり》を探しに出た。梧桐《あおぎり》の緑を綴《つづ》る間から西に傾く日が斑《まだ》らに洩《も》れて、幹にはつくつく法師《ぼうし》が懸命にないている。晩はことによると一雨かかるかも知れない。

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 ［＃８字下げ］七［＃「七」は中見出し］

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 　吾輩は近頃運動を始めた。猫の癖に運動なんて利《き》いた風だと一概に冷罵《れいば》し去る手合《てあい》にちょっと申し聞けるが、そう云《い》う人間だってつい近年までは運動の何者たるを解せずに、食って寝るのを天職のように心得ていたではないか。無事是貴人《ぶじこれきにん》とか称《とな》えて、懐手《ふところで》をして座布団《ざぶとん》から腐れかかった尻を離さざるをもって旦那の名誉と脂下《やにさが》って暮したのは覚えているはずだ。運動をしろの、牛乳を飲めの冷水を浴びろの、海の中へ飛び込めの、夏になったら山の中へ籠《こも》って当分霞を食《くら》えのとくだらぬ注文を連発するようになったのは、西洋から神国へ伝染しした輓近《ばんきん》の病気で、やはりペスト、肺病、神経衰弱の一族と心得ていいくらいだ。もっとも吾輩は去年生れたばかりで、当年とって一歳だから人間がこんな病気に罹《かか》り出した当時の有様は記憶に存しておらん、のみならずその砌《みぎ》りは浮世の風中《かざなか》にふわついておらなかったに相違ないが、猫の一年は人間の十年に懸《か》け合うと云ってもよろしい。吾等の寿命は人間より二倍も三倍も短いに係《かかわ》らず、その短日月の間に猫一疋の発達は十分｜仕《つかまつ》るところをもって推論すると、人間の年月と猫の星霜《せいそう》を同じ割合に打算するのははなはだしき誤謬《ごびゅう》である。第一、一歳何ヵ月に足らぬ吾輩がこのくらいの見識を有しているのでも分るだろう。主人の第三女などは数え年で三つだそうだが、智識の発達から云うと、いやはや鈍いものだ。泣く事と、寝小便をする事と、おっぱいを飲む事よりほかに何にも知らない。世を憂い時を憤《いきどお》る吾輩などに較《くら》べると、からたわいのない者だ。それだから吾輩が運動、海水浴、転地療養の歴史を方寸のうちに畳み込んでいたって毫《ごう》も驚くに足りない。これしきの事をもし驚ろく者があったなら、それは人間と云う足の二本足りない野呂間《のろま》に極《きま》っている。人間は昔から野呂間である。であるから近頃に至って漸々《ようよう》運動の功能を吹聴《ふいちょう》したり、海水浴の利益を喋々《ちょうちょう》して大発明のように考えるのである。吾輩などは生れない前からそのくらいな事はちゃんと心得ている。第一海水がなぜ薬になるかと云えばちょっと海岸へ行けばすぐ分る事じゃないか。あんな広い所に魚が何｜疋《びき》おるか分らないが、あの魚が一疋も病気をして医者にかかった試《ため》しがない。みんな健全に泳いでいる。病気をすれば、からだが利《き》かなくなる。死ねば必ず浮く。それだから魚の往生をあがる［＃「あがる」に傍点］と云って、鳥の薨去《こうきょ》を、落ちる［＃「落ちる」に傍点］と唱《とな》え、人間の寂滅《じゃくめつ》をごねる［＃「ごねる」に傍点］と号している。洋行をして印度洋を横断した人に君、魚の死ぬところを見た事がありますかと聞いて見るがいい、誰でもいいえと答えるに極っている。それはそう答える訳だ。いくら往復したって一匹も波の上に今｜呼吸《いき》を引き取った——呼吸《いき》ではいかん、魚の事だから潮《しお》を引き取ったと云わなければならん——潮を引き取って浮いているのを見た者はないからだ。あの渺々《びょうびょう》たる、あの漫々《まんまん》たる、大海《たいかい》を日となく夜となく続けざまに石炭を焚《た》いて探《さ》がしてあるいても古往｜今来《こんらい》一匹も魚が上がっ［＃「上がっ」に傍点］ておらんところをもって推論すれば、魚はよほど丈夫なものに違ないと云う断案はすぐに下す事が出来る。それならなぜ魚がそんなに丈夫なのかと云えばこれまた人間を待ってしかる後《のち》に知らざるなりで、訳《わけ》はない。すぐ分る。全く潮水《しおみず》を呑んで始終海水浴をやっているからだ。海水浴の功能はしかく魚に取って顕著《けんちょ》である。魚に取って顕著である以上は人間に取っても顕著でなくてはならん。一七五〇年にドクトル・リチャード・ラッセルがブライトンの海水に飛込めば四百四病｜即席《そくせき》全快と大袈裟《おおげさ》な広告を出したのは遅い遅いと笑ってもよろしい。猫といえども相当の時機が到着すれば、みんな鎌倉あたりへ出掛けるつもりでいる。但《ただ》し今はいけない。物には時機がある。御維新前《ごいっしんまえ》の日本人が海水浴の功能を味わう事が出来ずに死んだごとく、今日《こんにち》の猫はいまだ裸体で海の中へ飛び込むべき機会に遭遇《そうぐう》しておらん。せいては事を仕損《しそ》んずる、今日のように築地《つきじ》へ打っちゃられに行った猫が無事に帰宅せん間は無暗《むやみ》に飛び込む訳には行かん。進化の法則で吾等猫輩の機能が狂瀾怒濤《きょうらんどとう》に対して適当の抵抗力を生ずるに至るまでは——換言すれば猫が死［＃「死」に傍点］んだと云う代りに猫が上［＃「上」に傍点］がったと云う語が一般に使用せらるるまでは——容易に海水浴は出来ん。

 　海水浴は追って実行する事にして、運動だけは取りあえずやる事に取り極《き》めた。どうも二十世紀の今日《こんにち》運動せんのはいかにも貧民のようで人聞きがわるい。運動をせんと、運動せんのではない。運動が出来んのである、運動をする時間がないのである、余裕がないのだと鑑定される。昔は運動したものが折助《おりすけ》と笑われたごとく、今では運動をせぬ者が下等と見做《みな》されている。吾人の評価は時と場合に応じ吾輩の眼玉のごとく変化する。吾輩の眼玉はただ小さくなったり大きくなったりするばかりだが、人間の品隲《ひんしつ》とくると真逆《まっさ》かさまにひっくり返る。ひっくり返っても差《さ》し支《つか》えはない。物には両面がある、両端《りょうたん》がある。両端を叩《たた》いて黒白《こくびゃく》の変化を同一物の上に起こすところが人間の融通のきくところである。方寸［＃「方寸」に傍点］を逆《さ》かさまにして見ると寸方［＃「寸方」に傍点］となるところに愛嬌《あいきょう》がある。天《あま》の橋立《はしだて》を股倉《またぐら》から覗《のぞ》いて見るとまた格別な趣《おもむき》が出る。セクスピヤも千古万古セクスピヤではつまらない。偶《たま》には股倉からハムレットを見て、君こりゃ駄目だよくらいに云う者がないと、文界も進歩しないだろう。だから運動をわるく云った連中が急に運動がしたくなって、女までがラケットを持って往来をあるき廻ったって一向《いっこう》不思議はない。ただ猫が運動するのを利《き》いた風だなどと笑いさえしなければよい。さて吾輩の運動はいかなる種類の運動かと不審を抱《いだ》く者があるかも知れんから一応説明しようと思う。御承知のごとく不幸にして機械を持つ事が出来ん。だからボールもバットも取り扱い方に困窮する。次には金がないから買う訳《わけ》に行かない。この二つの源因からして吾輩の選んだ運動は一文《いちもん》いらず器械なしと名づくべき種類に属する者と思う。そんなら、のそのそ歩くか、あるいは鮪《まぐろ》の切身を啣《くわ》えて馳《か》け出す事と考えるかも知れんが、ただ四本の足を力学的に運動させて、地球の引力に順《したが》って、大地を横行するのは、あまり単簡《たんかん》で興味がない。いくら運動と名がついても、主人の時々実行するような、読んで字のごとき運動はどうも運動の神聖を汚《け》がす者だろうと思う。勿論《もちろん》ただの運動でもある刺激の下《もと》にはやらんとは限らん。鰹節競争《かつぶしきょうそう》、鮭探《しゃけさが》しなどは結構だがこれは肝心《かんじん》の対象物があっての上の事で、この刺激を取り去ると索然《さくぜん》として没趣味なものになってしまう。懸賞的興奮剤がないとすれば何か芸のある運動がして見たい。吾輩はいろいろ考えた。台所の廂《ひさし》から家根《やね》に飛び上がる方、家根の天辺《てっぺん》にある梅花形《ばいかがた》の瓦《かわら》の上に四本足で立つ術、物干竿《ものほしざお》を渡る事——これはとうてい成功しない、竹がつるつる滑《す》べって爪が立たない。後《うし》ろから不意に小供に飛びつく事、——これはすこぶる興味のある運動の一《ひとつ》だが滅多《めった》にやるとひどい目に逢うから、高々《たかだか》月に三度くらいしか試みない。紙袋《かんぶくろ》を頭へかぶせらるる事——これは苦しいばかりではなはだ興味の乏《とぼ》しい方法である。ことに人間の相手がおらんと成功しないから駄目。次には書物の表紙を爪で引き掻《か》く事、——これは主人に見付かると必ずどやされる危険があるのみならず、割合に手先の器用ばかりで総身の筋肉が働かない。これらは吾輩のいわゆる旧式運動なる者である。新式のうちにはなかなか興味の深いのがある。第一に蟷螂狩《とうろうが》り。——蟷螂狩りは鼠狩《ねずみが》りほどの大運動でない代りにそれほどの危険がない。夏の半《なかば》から秋の始めへかけてやる遊戯としてはもっとも上乗のものだ。その方法を云うとまず庭へ出て、一匹の蟷螂《かまきり》をさがし出す。時候がいいと一匹や二匹見付け出すのは雑作《ぞうさ》もない。さて見付け出した蟷螂君の傍《そば》へはっと風を切って馳《か》けて行く。するとすわこそと云う身構《みがまえ》をして鎌首をふり上げる。蟷螂でもなかなか健気《けなげ》なもので、相手の力量を知らんうちは抵抗するつもりでいるから面白い。振り上げた鎌首を右の前足でちょっと参る。振り上げた首は軟かいからぐにゃり横へ曲る。この時の蟷螂君の表情がすこぶる興味を添える。おやと云う思い入れが充分ある。ところを一足《いっそく》飛びに君《きみ》の後《うし》ろへ廻って今度は背面から君の羽根を軽《かろ》く引き掻《か》く。あの羽根は平生大事に畳《たた》んであるが、引き掻き方が烈《はげ》しいと、ぱっと乱れて中から吉野紙のような薄色の下着があらわれる。君は夏でも御苦労千万に二枚重ねで乙《おつ》に極《き》まっている。この時君の長い首は必ず後ろに向き直る。ある時は向ってくるが、大概の場合には首だけぬっと立てて立っている。こっちから手出しをするのを待ち構えて見える。先方がいつまでもこの態度でいては運動にならんから、あまり長くなるとまたちょいと一本参る。これだけ参ると眼識のある蟷螂なら必ず逃げ出す。それを我無洒落《がむしゃら》に向ってくるのはよほど無教育な野蛮的蟷螂である。もし相手がこの野蛮な振舞をやると、向って来たところを覘《ねら》いすまして、いやと云うほど張り付けてやる。大概は二三尺飛ばされる者である。しかし敵がおとなしく背面に前進すると、こっちは気の毒だから庭の立木を二三度飛鳥のごとく廻ってくる。蟷螂君《かまきりくん》はまだ五六寸しか逃げ延びておらん。もう吾輩の力量を知ったから手向いをする勇気はない。ただ右往左往へ逃げ惑《まど》うのみである。しかし吾輩も右往左往へ追っかけるから、君はしまいには苦しがって羽根を振《ふる》って一大活躍を試みる事がある。元来蟷螂の羽根は彼の首と調和して、すこぶる細長く出来上がったものだが、聞いて見ると全く装飾用だそうで、人間の英語、仏語、独逸語《ドイツご》のごとく毫《ごう》も実用にはならん。だから無用の長物を利用して一大活躍を試みたところが吾輩に対してあまり功能のありよう訳がない。名前は活躍だが事実は地面の上を引きずってあるくと云うに過ぎん。こうなると少々気の毒な感はあるが運動のためだから仕方がない。御免蒙《ごめんこうむ》ってたちまち前面へ馳《か》け抜ける。君は惰性で急廻転が出来ないからやはりやむを得ず前進してくる。その鼻をなぐりつける。この時蟷螂君は必ず羽根を広げたまま仆《たお》れる。その上をうんと前足で抑《おさ》えて少しく休息する。それからまた放す。放しておいてまた抑える。七擒七縦《しちきんしちしょう》孔明《こうめい》の軍略で攻めつける。約三十分この順序を繰り返して、身動きも出来なくなったところを見すましてちょっと口へ啣《くわ》えて振って見る。それからまた吐き出す。今度は地面の上へ寝たぎり動かないから、こっちの手で突っ付いて、その勢で飛び上がるところをまた抑えつける。これもいやになってから、最後の手段としてむしゃむしゃ食ってしまう。ついでだから蟷螂を食った事のない人に話しておくが、蟷螂はあまり旨《うま》い物ではない。そうして滋養分も存外少ないようである。蟷螂狩《とうろうが》りに次いで蝉取《せみと》りと云う運動をやる。単に蝉と云ったところが同じ物ばかりではない。人間にも油野郎《あぶらやろう》、みんみん野郎、おしいつくつく野郎があるごとく、蝉にも油蝉、みんみん、おしいつくつくがある。油蝉はしつこくて行《い》かん。みんみんは横風《おうふう》で困る。ただ取って面白いのはおしいつくつくである。これは夏の末にならないと出て来ない。八《や》つ口《くち》の綻《ほころ》びから秋風《あきかぜ》が断わりなしに膚《はだ》を撫《な》でてはっくしょ風邪《かぜ》を引いたと云う頃｜熾《さかん》に尾を掉《ふ》り立ててなく。善《よ》く鳴く奴で、吾輩から見ると鳴くのと猫にとられるよりほかに天職がないと思われるくらいだ。秋の初はこいつを取る。これを称して蝉取り運動と云う。ちょっと諸君に話しておくがいやしくも蝉と名のつく以上は、地面の上に転《ころ》がってはおらん。地面の上に落ちているものには必ず蟻《あり》がついている。吾輩の取るのはこの蟻の領分に寝転んでいる奴ではない。高い木の枝にとまって、おしいつくつくと鳴いている連中を捕《とら》えるのである。これもついでだから博学なる人間に聞きたいがあれはおしいつくつくと鳴くのか、つくつくおしいと鳴くのか、その解釈次第によっては蝉の研究上少なからざる関係があると思う。人間の猫に優《まさ》るところはこんなところに存するので、人間の自《みずか》ら誇る点もまたかような点にあるのだから、今即答が出来ないならよく考えておいたらよかろう。もっとも蝉取り運動上はどっちにしても差《さ》し支《つか》えはない。ただ声をしるべに木を上《のぼ》って行って、先方が夢中になって鳴いているところをうんと捕えるばかりだ。これはもっとも簡略な運動に見えてなかなか骨の折れる運動である。吾輩は四本の足を有しているから大地を行く事においてはあえて他の動物には劣るとは思わない。少なくとも二本と四本の数学的智識から判断して見て人間には負けないつもりである。しかし木登りに至っては大分《だいぶ》吾輩より巧者な奴がいる。本職の猿は別物として、猿の末孫《ばっそん》たる人間にもなかなか侮《あなど》るべからざる手合《てあい》がいる。元来が引力に逆らっての無理な事業だから出来なくても別段の恥辱《ちじょく》とは思わんけれども、蝉取り運動上には少なからざる不便を与える。幸に爪と云う利器があるので、どうかこうか登りはするものの、はたで見るほど楽ではござらん。のみならず蝉は飛ぶものである。蟷螂君《かまきりくん》と違って一たび飛んでしまったが最後、せっかくの木登りも、木登らずと何の択《えら》むところなしと云う悲運に際会する事がないとも限らん。最後に時々蝉から小便をかけられる危険がある。あの小便がややともすると眼を覘《ねら》ってしょぐってくるようだ。逃げるのは仕方がないから、どうか小便ばかりは垂れんように致したい。飛ぶ間際《まぎわ》に溺《いば》りを仕《つかまつ》るのは一体どう云う心理的状態の生理的器械に及ぼす影響だろう。やはりせつなさのあまりかしらん。あるいは敵の不意に出でて、ちょっと逃げ出す余裕を作るための方便か知らん。そうすると烏賊《いか》の墨を吐き、ベランメーの刺物《ほりもの》を見せ、主人が羅甸語《ラテンご》を弄する類《たぐい》と同じ綱目《こうもく》に入るべき事項となる。これも蝉学上｜忽《ゆる》かせにすべからざる問題である。充分研究すればこれだけでたしかに博士論文の価値はある。それは余事だから、そのくらいにしてまた本題に帰る。蝉のもっとも集注するのは——集注がおかしければ集合だが、集合は陳腐《ちんぷ》だからやはり集注にする。——蝉のもっとも集注するのは青桐《あおぎり》である。漢名を梧桐《ごとう》と号するそうだ。ところがこの青桐は葉が非常に多い、しかもその葉は皆｜団扇《うちわ》くらいな大《おおき》さであるから、彼等が生《お》い重なると枝がまるで見えないくらい茂っている。これがはなはだ蝉取り運動の妨害になる。声はすれども姿は見えずと云う俗謡《ぞくよう》はとくに吾輩のために作った者ではなかろうかと怪しまれるくらいである。吾輩は仕方がないからただ声を知るべに行く。下から一間ばかりのところで梧桐は注文通り二叉《ふたまた》になっているから、ここで一休息《ひとやすみ》して葉裏から蝉の所在地を探偵する。もっともここまで来るうちに、がさがさと音を立てて、飛び出す気早な連中がいる。一羽飛ぶともういけない。真似をする点において蝉は人間に劣らぬくらい馬鹿である。あとから続々飛び出す。漸々《ようよう》二叉《ふたまた》に到着する時分には満樹｜寂《せき》として片声《へんせい》をとどめざる事がある。かつてここまで登って来て、どこをどう見廻わしても、耳をどう振っても蝉気《せみけ》がないので、出直すのも面倒だからしばらく休息しようと、叉《また》の上に陣取って第二の機会を待ち合せていたら、いつの間《ま》にか眠くなって、つい黒甜郷裡《こくてんきょうり》に遊んだ。おやと思って眼が醒《さ》めたら、二叉の黒甜郷裡《こくてんきょうり》から庭の敷石の上へどたりと落ちていた。しかし大概は登る度に一つは取って来る。ただ興味の薄い事には樹の上で口に啣《くわ》えてしまわなくてはならん。だから下へ持って来て吐き出す時は大方《おおかた》死んでいる。いくらじゃらしても引っ掻《か》いても確然たる手答がない。蝉取りの妙味はじっと忍んで行っておしい君《くん》が一生懸命に尻尾《しっぽ》を延ばしたり縮《ちぢ》ましたりしているところを、わっと前足で抑《おさ》える時にある。この時つくつく君《くん》は悲鳴を揚げて、薄い透明な羽根を縦横無尽に振う。その早い事、美事なる事は言語道断、実に蝉世界の一偉観である。余はつくつく君を抑える度《たび》にいつでも、つくつく君に請求してこの美術的演芸を見せてもらう。それがいやになるとご免を蒙《こうむ》って口の内へ頬張《ほおば》ってしまう。蝉によると口の内へ這入《はい》ってまで演芸をつづけているのがある。蝉取りの次にやる運動は松滑《まつすべ》りである。これは長くかく必要もないから、ちょっと述べておく。松滑りと云うと松を滑るように思うかも知れんが、そうではないやはり木登りの一種である。ただ蝉取りは蝉を取るために登り、松滑りは、登る事を目的として登る。これが両者の差である。元来松は常磐《ときわ》にて最明寺《さいみょうじ》の御馳走《ごちそう》をしてから以来｜今日《こんにち》に至るまで、いやにごつごつしている。従って松の幹ほど滑らないものはない。手懸りのいいものはない。足懸りのいいものはない。——換言すれば爪懸《つまがか》りのいいものはない。その爪懸りのいい幹へ一気呵成《いっきかせい》に馳《か》け上《あが》る。馳け上っておいて馳け下がる。馳け下がるには二法ある。一はさかさになって頭を地面へ向けて下りてくる。一は上《のぼ》ったままの姿勢をくずさずに尾を下にして降りる。人間に問うがどっちがむずかしいか知ってるか。人間のあさはかな了見《りょうけん》では、どうせ降りるのだから下向《したむき》に馳け下りる方が楽だと思うだろう。それが間違ってる。君等は義経が鵯越《ひよどりごえ》を落《お》としたことだけを心得て、義経でさえ下を向いて下りるのだから猫なんぞは無論｜下《し》た向きでたくさんだと思うのだろう。そう軽蔑《けいべつ》するものではない。猫の爪はどっちへ向いて生《は》えていると思う。みんな後《うし》ろへ折れている。それだから鳶口《とびぐち》のように物をかけて引き寄せる事は出来るが、逆に押し出す力はない。今吾輩が松の木を勢よく馳け登ったとする。すると吾輩は元来地上の者であるから、自然の傾向から云えば吾輩が長く松樹の巓《いただき》に留《とど》まるを許さんに相違ない、ただおけば必ず落ちる。しかし手放しで落ちては、あまり早過ぎる。だから何等かの手段をもってこの自然の傾向を幾分かゆるめなければならん。これ即《すなわ》ち降りるのである。落ちるのと降りるのは大変な違のようだが、その実思ったほどの事ではない。落ちるのを遅くすると降りるので、降りるのを早くすると落ちる事になる。落ちると降りるのは、ち［＃「ち」に傍点］とり［＃「り」に傍点］の差である。吾輩は松の木の上から落ちるのはいやだから、落ちるのを緩《ゆる》めて降りなければならない。即《すなわ》ちあるものをもって落ちる速度に抵抗しなければならん。吾輩の爪は前《ぜん》申す通り皆｜後《うし》ろ向きであるから、もし頭を上にして爪を立てればこの爪の力は悉《ことごと》く、落ちる勢に逆《さから》って利用出来る訳である。従って落ちるが変じて降りるになる。実に見易《みやす》き道理である。しかるにまた身を逆《さか》にして義経流に松の木｜越《ごえ》をやって見給え。爪はあっても役には立たん。ずるずる滑って、どこにも自分の体量を持ち答える事は出来なくなる。ここにおいてかせっかく降りようと企《くわだ》てた者が変化して落ちる事になる。この通り鵯越《ひよどりごえ》はむずかしい。猫のうちでこの芸が出来る者は恐らく吾輩のみであろう。それだから吾輩はこの運動を称して松滑りと云うのである。最後に垣巡《かきめぐ》りについて一言《いちげん》する。主人の庭は竹垣をもって四角にしきられている。椽側《えんがわ》と平行している一片《いっぺん》は八九間もあろう。左右は双方共四間に過ぎん。今吾輩の云った垣巡りと云う運動はこの垣の上を落ちないように一周するのである。これはやり損《そこな》う事もままあるが、首尾よく行くとお慰《なぐさみ》になる。ことに所々に根を焼いた丸太が立っているから、ちょっと休息に便宜《べんぎ》がある。今日は出来がよかったので朝から昼までに三｜返《べん》やって見たが、やるたびにうまくなる。うまくなる度《たび》に面白くなる。とうとう四返繰り返したが、四返目に半分ほど巡《まわ》りかけたら、隣の屋根から烏が三羽飛んで来て、一間ばかり向うに列を正してとまった。これは推参な奴だ。人の運動の妨《さまたげ》をする、ことにどこの烏だか籍《せき》もない分在《ぶんざい》で、人の塀へとまるという法があるもんかと思ったから、通るんだおい除《の》きたまえと声をかけた。真先の烏はこっちを見てにやにや笑っている。次のは主人の庭を眺《なが》めている。三羽目は嘴《くちばし》を垣根の竹で拭《ふ》いている。何か食って来たに違ない。吾輩は返答を待つために、彼等に三分間の猶予《ゆうよ》を与えて、垣の上に立っていた。烏は通称を勘左衛門と云うそうだが、なるほど勘左衛門だ。吾輩がいくら待ってても挨拶もしなければ、飛びもしない。吾輩は仕方がないから、そろそろ歩き出した。すると真先の勘左衛門がちょいと羽を広げた。やっと吾輩の威光に恐れて逃げるなと思ったら、右向から左向に姿勢をかえただけである。この野郎！　地面の上ならその分に捨ておくのではないが、いかんせん、たださえ骨の折れる道中に、勘左衛門などを相手にしている余裕がない。といってまた立留まって三羽が立ち退《の》くのを待つのもいやだ。第一そう待っていては足がつづかない。先方は羽根のある身分であるから、こんな所へはとまりつけている。従って気に入ればいつまでも逗留《とうりゅう》するだろう。こっちはこれで四返目だたださえ大分《だいぶ》労《つか》れている。いわんや綱渡りにも劣らざる芸当兼運動をやるのだ。何等の障害物がなくてさえ落ちんとは保証が出来んのに、こんな黒装束《くろしょうぞく》が、三個も前途を遮《さえぎ》っては容易ならざる不都合だ。いよいよとなれば自《みずか》ら運動を中止して垣根を下りるより仕方がない。面倒だから、いっそさよう仕ろうか、敵は大勢の事ではあるし、ことにはあまりこの辺には見馴れぬ人体《にんてい》である。口嘴《くちばし》が乙《おつ》に尖《とん》がって何だか天狗《てんぐ》の啓《もう》し子《ご》のようだ。どうせ質《たち》のいい奴でないには極《きま》っている。退却が安全だろう、あまり深入りをして万一落ちでもしたらなおさら恥辱だ。と思っていると左向《ひだりむけ》をした烏が阿呆《あほう》と云った。次のも真似をして阿呆と云った。最後の奴は御鄭寧《ごていねい》にも阿呆阿呆と二声叫んだ。いかに温厚なる吾輩でもこれは看過《かんか》出来ない。第一自己の邸内で烏輩《からすはい》に侮辱されたとあっては、吾輩の名前にかかわる。名前はまだないから係わりようがなかろうと云うなら体面に係わる。決して退却は出来ない。諺《ことわざ》にも烏合《うごう》の衆と云うから三羽だって存外弱いかも知れない。進めるだけ進めと度胸を据《す》えて、のそのそ歩き出す。烏は知らん顔をして何か御互に話をしている様子だ。いよいよ肝癪《かんしゃく》に障《さわ》る。垣根の幅がもう五六寸もあったらひどい目に合せてやるんだが、残念な事にはいくら怒《おこ》っても、のそのそとしかあるかれない。ようやくの事｜先鋒《せんぽう》を去る事約五六寸の距離まで来てもう一息だと思うと、勘左衛門は申し合せたように、いきなり羽搏《はばたき》をして一二尺飛び上がった。その風が突然余の顔を吹いた時、はっと思ったら、つい踏み外《は》ずして、すとんと落ちた。これはしくじったと垣根の下から見上げると、三羽共元の所にとまって上から嘴《くちばし》を揃《そろ》えて吾輩の顔を見下している。図太い奴だ。睨《にら》めつけてやったが一向《いっこう》利《き》かない。背を丸くして、少々｜唸《うな》ったが、ますます駄目だ。俗人に霊妙なる象徴詩がわからぬごとく、吾輩が彼等に向って示す怒りの記号も何等の反応を呈出しない。考えて見ると無理のないところだ。吾輩は今まで彼等を猫として取り扱っていた。それが悪るい。猫ならこのくらいやればたしかに応《こた》えるのだが生憎《あいにく》相手は烏だ。烏の勘公とあって見れば致し方がない。実業家が主人｜苦沙弥《くしゃみ》先生を圧倒しようとあせるごとく、西行《さいぎょう》に銀製の吾輩を進呈するがごとく、西郷隆盛君の銅像に勘公が糞《ふん》をひるようなものである。機を見るに敏なる吾輩はとうてい駄目と見て取ったから、奇麗さっぱりと椽側へ引き上げた。もう晩飯の時刻だ。運動もいいが度を過ごすと行《い》かぬ者で、からだ全体が何となく緊《しま》りがない、ぐたぐたの感がある。のみならずまだ秋の取り付きで運動中に照り付けられた毛ごろもは、西日を思う存分吸収したと見えて、ほてってたまらない。毛穴から染《し》み出す汗が、流れればと思うのに毛の根に膏《あぶら》のようにねばり付く。背中《せなか》がむずむずする。汗でむずむずするのと蚤《のみ》が這《は》ってむずむずするのは判然と区別が出来る。口の届く所なら噛《か》む事も出来る、足の達する領分は引き掻《か》く事も心得にあるが、脊髄《せきずい》の縦に通う真中と来たら自分の及ぶ限《かぎり》でない。こう云う時には人間を見懸けて矢鱈《やたら》にこすり付けるか、松の木の皮で充分摩擦術を行うか、二者その一を択《えら》ばんと不愉快で安眠も出来兼ねる。人間は愚《ぐ》なものであるから、猫なで声で——猫なで声は人間の吾輩に対して出す声だ。吾輩を目安《めやす》にして考えれば猫なで声ではない、なでられ声である——よろしい、とにかく人間は愚なものであるから撫《な》でられ声で膝の傍《そば》へ寄って行くと、大抵の場合において彼もしくは彼女を愛するものと誤解して、わが為《な》すままに任せるのみか折々は頭さえ撫《な》でてくれるものだ。しかるに近来吾輩の毛中《もうちゅう》にのみと号する一種の寄生虫が繁殖したので滅多《めった》に寄り添うと、必ず頸筋《くびすじ》を持って向うへ抛《ほう》り出される。わずかに眼に入《い》るか入《い》らぬか、取るにも足らぬ虫のために愛想《あいそ》をつかしたと見える。手を翻《ひるがえ》せば雨、手を覆《くつがえ》せば雲とはこの事だ。高がのみの千｜疋《びき》や二千疋でよくまあこんなに現金な真似が出来たものだ。人間世界を通じて行われる愛の法則の第一条にはこうあるそうだ。——自己の利益になる間は、すべからく人を愛すべし。——人間の取り扱が俄然豹変《がぜんひょうへん》したので、いくら痒《か》ゆくても人力を利用する事は出来ん。だから第二の方法によって松皮《しょうひ》摩擦法《まさつほう》をやるよりほかに分別はない。しからばちょっとこすって参ろうかとまた椽側《えんがわ》から降りかけたが、いやこれも利害相償わぬ愚策だと心付いた。と云うのはほかでもない。松には脂《やに》がある。この脂《やに》たるすこぶる執着心の強い者で、もし一たび、毛の先へくっ付けようものなら、雷が鳴ってもバルチック艦隊が全滅しても決して離れない。しかのみならず五本の毛へこびりつくが早いか、十本に蔓延《まんえん》する。十本やられたなと気が付くと、もう三十本引っ懸っている。吾輩は淡泊《たんぱく》を愛する茶人的猫《ちゃじんてきねこ》である。こんな、しつこい、毒悪な、ねちねちした、執念深《しゅうねんぶか》い奴は大嫌だ。たとい天下の美猫《びみょう》といえどもご免蒙る。いわんや松脂《まつやに》においてをやだ。車屋の黒の両眼から北風に乗じて流れる目糞と択《えら》ぶところなき身分をもって、この淡灰色《たんかいしょく》の毛衣《けごろも》を大《だい》なしにするとは怪《け》しからん。少しは考えて見るがいい。といったところできゃつなかなか考える気遣《きづかい》はない。あの皮のあたりへ行って背中をつけるが早いか必ずべたりとおいでになるに極《きま》っている。こんな無分別な頓痴奇《とんちき》を相手にしては吾輩の顔に係わるのみならず、引いて吾輩の毛並に関する訳だ。いくら、むずむずしたって我慢するよりほかに致し方はあるまい。しかしこの二方法共実行出来んとなるとはなはだ心細い。今において一工夫《ひとくふう》しておかんとしまいにはむずむず、ねちねちの結果病気に罹《かか》るかも知れない。何か分別はあるまいかなと、後《あ》と足《あし》を折って思案したが、ふと思い出した事がある。うちの主人は時々手拭と石鹸《シャボン》をもって飄然《ひょうぜん》といずれへか出て行く事がある、三四十分して帰ったところを見ると彼の朦朧《もうろう》たる顔色《がんしょく》が少しは活気を帯びて、晴れやかに見える。主人のような汚苦《むさくる》しい男にこのくらいな影響を与えるなら吾輩にはもう少し利目《ききめ》があるに相違ない。吾輩はただでさえこのくらいな器量だから、これより色男になる必要はないようなものの、万一病気に罹《かか》って一歳｜何《なん》が月《げつ》で夭折《ようせつ》するような事があっては天下の蒼生《そうせい》に対して申し訳がない。聞いて見るとこれも人間のひま潰《つぶ》しに案出した洗湯《せんとう》なるものだそうだ。どうせ人間の作ったものだから碌《ろく》なものでないには極《きま》っているがこの際の事だから試しに這入《はい》って見るのもよかろう。やって見て功験がなければよすまでの事だ。しかし人間が自己のために設備した浴場へ異類の猫を入れるだけの洪量《こうりょう》があるだろうか。これが疑問である。主人がすまして這入《はい》るくらいのところだから、よもや吾輩を断わる事もなかろうけれども万一お気の毒様を食うような事があっては外聞がわるい。これは一先《ひとま》ず容子《ようす》を見に行くに越した事はない。見た上でこれならよいと当りが付いたら、手拭を啣《くわ》えて飛び込んで見よう。とここまで思案を定めた上でのそのそと洗湯へ出掛けた。

 　横町を左へ折れると向うに高いとよ竹のようなものが屹立《きつりつ》して先から薄い煙を吐いている。これ即《すなわ》ち洗湯である。吾輩はそっと裏口から忍び込んだ。裏口から忍び込むのを卑怯《ひきょう》とか未練とか云うが、あれは表からでなくては訪問する事が出来ぬものが嫉妬《しっと》半分に囃《はや》し立てる繰《く》り言《ごと》である。昔から利口な人は裏口から不意を襲う事にきまっている。紳士養成｜方《ほう》の第二巻第一章の五ページにそう出ているそうだ。その次のページには裏口は紳士の遺書にして自身徳を得るの門なりとあるくらいだ。吾輩は二十世紀の猫だからこのくらいの教育はある。あんまり軽蔑《けいべつ》してはいけない。さて忍び込んで見ると、左の方に松を割って八寸くらいにしたのが山のように積んであって、その隣りには石炭が岡のように盛ってある。なぜ松薪《まつまき》が山のようで、石炭が岡のようかと聞く人があるかも知れないが、別に意味も何もない、ただちょっと山と岡を使い分けただけである。人間も米を食ったり、鳥を食ったり、肴《さかな》を食ったり、獣《けもの》を食ったりいろいろの悪《あく》もの食いをしつくしたあげくついに石炭まで食うように堕落したのは不憫《ふびん》である。行き当りを見ると一間ほどの入口が明け放しになって、中を覗《のぞ》くとがんがらがんのがあんと物静かである。その向側《むこうがわ》で何かしきりに人間の声がする。いわゆる洗湯はこの声の発する辺《へん》に相違ないと断定したから、松薪と石炭の間に出来てる谷あいを通り抜けて左へ廻って、前進すると右手に硝子窓《ガラスまど》があって、そのそとに丸い小桶《こおけ》が三角形｜即《すなわ》ちピラミッドのごとく積みかさねてある。丸いものが三角に積まれるのは不本意千万だろうと、ひそかに小桶諸君の意を諒《りょう》とした。小桶の南側は四五尺の間《あいだ》板が余って、あたかも吾輩を迎うるもののごとく見える。板の高さは地面を去る約一メートルだから飛び上がるには御誂《おあつら》えの上等である。よろしいと云いながらひらりと身を躍《おど》らすといわゆる洗湯は鼻の先、眼の下、顔の前にぶらついている。天下に何が面白いと云って、未《いま》だ食わざるものを食い、未だ見ざるものを見るほどの愉快はない。諸君もうちの主人のごとく一週三度くらい、この洗湯界に三十分｜乃至《ないし》四十分を暮すならいいが、もし吾輩のごとく風呂と云うものを見た事がないなら、早く見るがいい。親の死目《しにめ》に逢《あ》わなくてもいいから、これだけは是非見物するがいい。世界広しといえどもこんな奇観《きかん》はまたとあるまい。

@@ -840,9 +821,7 @@ http://www.aozora.gr.jp/accent_separation.html
 「大変だと云うならよしてやるから、その代りもう少し夫《おっと》を大事にして、そうして晩に、もっと御馳走を食わせろ」

 「これが精一杯のところですよ」

 「そうかしらん。それじゃ道楽は追って金が這入《はい》り次第やる事にして、今夜はこれでやめよう」と飯茶椀を出す。何でも茶漬を三ぜん食ったようだ。吾輩はその夜《よ》豚肉｜三片《みきれ》と塩焼の頭を頂戴した。

-

 ［＃８字下げ］八［＃「八」は中見出し］

-

 　垣巡《かきめぐ》りと云《い》う運動を説明した時に、主人の庭を結《ゆ》い繞《めぐ》らしてある竹垣の事をちょっと述べたつもりであるが、この竹垣の外がすぐ隣家、即ち南隣《みなみどなり》の次郎《じろ》ちゃんとこと思っては誤解である。家賃は安いがそこは苦沙弥《くしゃみ》先生である。与《よ》っちゃんや次郎ちゃんなどと号する、いわゆるちゃん付きの連中と、薄っ片《ぺら》な垣一重を隔てて御隣り同志の親密なる交際は結んでおらぬ。この垣の外は五六間の空地《あきち》であって、その尽くるところに檜《ひのき》が蓊然《こんもり》と五六本｜併《なら》んでいる。椽側《えんがわ》から拝見すると、向うは茂った森で、ここに往む先生は野中の一軒家に、無名の猫を友にして日月《じつげつ》を送る江湖《こうこ》の処士《しょし》であるかのごとき感がある。但《ただ》し檜の枝は吹聴《ふいちょう》するごとく密生しておらんので、その間《あいだ》から群鶴館《ぐんかくかん》という、名前だけ立派な安下宿の安屋根が遠慮なく見えるから、しかく先生を想像するのにはよほど骨の折れるのは無論である。しかしこの下宿が群鶴館なら先生の居《きょ》はたしかに臥竜窟《がりょうくつ》くらいな価値はある。名前に税はかからんから御互にえらそうな奴を勝手次第に付ける事として、この幅五六間の空地が竹垣を添うて東西に走る事約十間、それから、たちまち鉤《かぎ》の手に屈曲して、臥竜窟の北面を取り囲んでいる。この北面が騒動の種である。本来なら空地を行き尽してまたあき地、とか何とか威張ってもいいくらいに家の二側《ふたがわ》を包んでいるのだが、臥竜窟《がりょうくつ》の主人は無論窟内の霊猫《れいびょう》たる吾輩すらこのあき地には手こずっている。南側に檜《ひのき》が幅を利《き》かしているごとく、北側には桐《きり》の木が七八本行列している。もう周囲一尺くらいにのびているから下駄屋さえ連れてくればいい価《ね》になるんだが、借家《しゃくや》の悲しさには、いくら気が付いても実行は出来ん。主人に対しても気の毒である。せんだって学校の小使が来て枝を一本切って行ったが、そのつぎに来た時は新らしい桐の俎下駄《まないたげた》を穿《は》いて、この間の枝でこしらえましたと、聞きもせんのに吹聴《ふいちょう》していた。ずるい奴だ。桐はあるが吾輩及び主人家族にとっては一文にもならない桐である。玉を抱《いだ》いて罪ありと云う古語があるそうだが、これは桐を生《は》やして銭《ぜに》なしと云ってもしかるべきもので、いわゆる宝の持ち腐《ぐさ》れである。愚《ぐ》なるものは主人にあらず、吾輩にあらず、家主《やぬし》の伝兵衛である。いないかな、いないかな、下駄屋はいないかなと桐の方で催促しているのに知らん面《かお》をして屋賃《やちん》ばかり取り立てにくる。吾輩は別に伝兵衛に恨《うらみ》もないから彼の悪口《あっこう》をこのくらいにして、本題に戻ってこの空地《あきち》が騒動の種であると云う珍譚《ちんだん》を紹介｜仕《つかまつ》るが、決して主人にいってはいけない。これぎりの話しである。そもそもこの空地に関して第一の不都合なる事は垣根のない事である。吹き払い、吹き通し、抜け裏、通行御免天下晴れての空地である。ある［＃「ある」に傍点］と云うと嘘をつくようでよろしくない。実を云うとあった［＃「あった」に傍点］のである。しかし話しは過去へ溯《さかのぼ》らんと源因が分からない。源因が分からないと、医者でも処方《しょほう》に迷惑する。だからここへ引き越して来た当時からゆっくりと話し始める。吹き通しも夏はせいせいして心持ちがいいものだ、不用心だって金のないところに盗難のあるはずはない。だから主人の家に、あらゆる塀《へい》、垣、乃至《ないし》は乱杭《らんぐい》、逆茂木《さかもぎ》の類は全く不要である。しかしながらこれは空地の向うに住居《すまい》する人間もしくは動物の種類｜如何《いかん》によって決せらるる問題であろうと思う。従ってこの問題を決するためには勢い向う側に陣取っている君子の性質を明かにせんければならん。人間だか動物だか分らない先に君子と称するのははなはだ早計のようではあるが大抵君子で間違はない。梁上《りょうじょう》の君子などと云って泥棒さえ君子と云う世の中である。但《ただ》しこの場合における君子は決して警察の厄介になるような君子ではない。警察の厄介にならない代りに、数でこなした者と見えて沢山いる。うじゃうじゃいる。落雲館《らくうんかん》と称する私立の中学校——八百の君子をいやが上に君子に養成するために毎月二円の月謝を徴集する学校である。名前が落雲館だから風流な君子ばかりかと思うと、それがそもそもの間違になる。その信用すべからざる事は群鶴館《ぐんかくかん》に鶴の下りざるごとく、臥竜窟に猫がいるようなものである。学士とか教師とか号するものに主人苦沙弥君のごとき気違のある事を知った以上は落雲館の君子が風流漢ばかりでないと云う事がわかる訳《わけ》だ。それがわからんと主張するならまず三日ばかり主人のうちへ宿《とま》りに来て見るがいい。

 　前《ぜん》申すごとく、ここへ引き越しの当時は、例の空地《あきち》に垣がないので、落雲館の君子は車屋の黒のごとく、のそのそと桐畠《きりばたけ》に這入《はい》り込んできて、話をする、弁当を食う、笹《ささ》の上に寝転《ねころ》ぶ——いろいろの事をやったものだ。それからは弁当の死骸｜即《すなわ》ち竹の皮、古新聞、あるいは古草履《ふるぞうり》、古下駄、ふると云う名のつくものを大概ここへ棄てたようだ。無頓着なる主人は存外平気に構えて、別段抗議も申し込まずに打ち過ぎたのは、知らなかったのか、知っても咎《とが》めんつもりであったのか分らない。ところが彼等諸君子は学校で教育を受くるに従って、だんだん君子らしくなったものと見えて、次第に北側から南側の方面へ向けて蚕食《さんしょく》を企だてて来た。蚕食と云う語が君子に不似合ならやめてもよろしい。但《ただ》しほかに言葉がないのである。彼等は水草《すいそう》を追うて居を変ずる沙漠《さばく》の住民のごとく、桐《きり》の木を去って檜《ひのき》の方に進んで来た。檜のある所は座敷の正面である。よほど大胆なる君子でなければこれほどの行動は取れんはずである。一両日の後《のち》彼等の大胆はさらに一層の大を加えて大々胆《だいだいたん》となった。教育の結果ほど恐しいものはない。彼等は単に座敷の正面に逼《せま》るのみならず、この正面において歌をうたいだした。何と云う歌か忘れてしまったが、決して三十一文字《みそひともじ》の類《たぐい》ではない、もっと活溌《かっぱつ》で、もっと俗耳《ぞくじ》に入り易《やす》い歌であった。驚ろいたのは主人ばかりではない、吾輩までも彼等君子の才芸に嘆服《たんぷく》して覚えず耳を傾けたくらいである。しかし読者もご案内であろうが、嘆服と云う事と邪魔と云う事は時として両立する場合がある。この両者がこの際｜図《はか》らずも合して一となったのは、今から考えて見ても返す返す残念である。主人も残念であったろうが、やむを得ず書斎から飛び出して行って、ここは君等の這入《はい》る所ではない、出給えと云って、二三度追い出したようだ。ところが教育のある君子の事だから、こんな事でおとなしく聞く訳がない。追い出されればすぐ這入る。這入れば活溌なる歌をうたう。高声《こうせい》に談話をする。しかも君子の談話だから一風《いっぷう》違って、おめえ［＃「おめえ」に傍点］だの知らねえ［＃「知らねえ」に傍点］のと云う。そんな言葉は御維新前《ごいっしんまえ》は折助《おりすけ》と雲助《くもすけ》と三助《さんすけ》の専門的知識に属していたそうだが、二十世紀になってから教育ある君子の学ぶ唯一の言語であるそうだ。一般から軽蔑《けいべつ》せられたる運動が、かくのごとく今日《こんにち》歓迎せらるるようになったのと同一の現象だと説明した人がある。主人はまた書斎から飛び出してこの君子流の言葉にもっとも堪能《かんのう》なる一人を捉《つら》まえて、なぜここへ這入るかと詰問したら、君子はたちまち「おめえ［＃「おめえ」に傍点］、知らねえ［＃「知らねえ」に傍点］」の上品な言葉を忘れて「ここは学校の植物園かと思いました」とすこぶる下品な言葉で答えた。主人は将来を戒《いまし》めて放してやった。放してやるのは亀の子のようでおかしいが、実際彼は君子の袖《そで》を捉《とら》えて談判したのである。このくらいやかましく云ったらもうよかろうと主人は思っていたそうだ。ところが実際は女※［＃「女＋咼」、第3水準1-15-89］氏《じょかし》の時代から予期と違うもので、主人はまた失敗した。今度は北側から邸内を横断して表門から抜ける、表門をがらりとあけるから御客かと思うと桐畠の方で笑う声がする。形勢はますます不穏である。教育の功果はいよいよ顕著になってくる。気の毒な主人はこいつは手に合わんと、それから書斎へ立て籠《こも》って、恭《うやうや》しく一書を落雲館校長に奉って、少々御取締をと哀願した。校長も鄭重《ていちょう》なる返書を主人に送って、垣をするから待ってくれと云った。しばらくすると二三人の職人が来て半日ばかりの間に主人の屋敷と、落雲館の境に、高さ三尺ばかりの四つ目垣が出来上がった。これでようよう安心だと主人は喜こんだ。主人は愚物である。このくらいの事で君子の挙動の変化する訳がない。

 　全体人にからかうのは面白いものである。吾輩のような猫ですら、時々は当家の令嬢にからかって遊ぶくらいだから、落雲館の君子が、気の利《き》かない苦沙弥先生にからかうのは至極《しごく》もっともなところで、これに不平なのは恐らく、からかわれる当人だけであろう。からかうと云う心理を解剖して見ると二つの要素がある。第一からかわれる当人が平気ですましていてはならん。第二からかう者が勢力において人数において相手より強くなくてはいかん。この間主人が動物園から帰って来てしきりに感心して話した事がある。聞いて見ると駱駝《らくだ》と小犬の喧嘩を見たのだそうだ。小犬が駱駝の周囲を疾風のごとく廻転して吠《ほ》え立てると、駱駝は何の気もつかずに、依然として背中《せなか》へ瘤《こぶ》をこしらえて突っ立ったままであるそうだ。いくら吠えても狂っても相手にせんので、しまいには犬も愛想《あいそ》をつかしてやめる、実に駱駝は無神経だと笑っていたが、それがこの場合の適例である。いくらからかうものが上手でも相手が駱駝と来ては成立しない。さればと云って獅子《しし》や虎《とら》のように先方が強過ぎても者にならん。からかいかけるや否や八つ裂きにされてしまう。からかうと歯をむき出して怒《おこ》る、怒る事は怒るが、こっちをどうする事も出来ないと云う安心のある時に愉快は非常に多いものである。なぜこんな事が面白いと云うとその理由はいろいろある。まずひまつぶしに適している。退屈な時には髯《ひげ》の数さえ勘定して見たくなる者だ。昔《むか》し獄に投ぜられた囚人の一人は無聊《ぶりょう》のあまり、房《へや》の壁に三角形を重ねて画《か》いてその日をくらしたと云う話がある。世の中に退屈ほど我慢の出来にくいものはない、何か活気を刺激する事件がないと生きているのがつらいものだ。からかう［＃「からかう」に傍点］と云うのもつまりこの刺激を作って遊ぶ一種の娯楽である。但《ただ》し多少先方を怒らせるか、じらせるか、弱らせるかしなくては刺激にならんから、昔しからからかう［＃「からかう」に傍点］と云う娯楽に耽《ふけ》るものは人の気を知らない馬鹿大名のような退屈の多い者、もしくは自分のなぐさみ以外は考うるに暇《いとま》なきほど頭の発達が幼稚で、しかも活気の使い道に窮する少年かに限っている。次には自己の優勢な事を実地に証明するものにはもっとも簡便な方法である。人を殺したり、人を傷《きずつ》けたり、または人を陥《おとしい》れたりしても自己の優勢な事は証明出来る訳であるが、これらはむしろ殺したり、傷けたり、陥れたりするのが目的のときによるべき手段で、自己の優勢なる事はこの手段を遂行《すいこう》した後《のち》に必然の結果として起る現象に過ぎん。だから一方には自分の勢力が示したくって、しかもそんなに人に害を与えたくないと云う場合には、からかう［＃「からかう」に傍点］のが一番｜御恰好《おかっこう》である。多少人を傷けなければ自己のえらい［＃「えらい」に傍点］事は事実の上に証拠だてられない。事実になって出て来ないと、頭のうちで安心していても存外快楽のうすいものである。人間は自己を恃《たの》むものである。否恃み難い場合でも恃みたいものである。それだから自己はこれだけ恃める者だ、これなら安心だと云う事を、人に対して実地に応用して見ないと気がすまない。しかも理窟《りくつ》のわからない俗物や、あまり自己が恃みになりそうもなくて落ちつきのない者は、あらゆる機会を利用して、この証券を握ろうとする。柔術使が時々人を投げて見たくなるのと同じ事である。柔術の怪しいものは、どうか自分より弱い奴に、ただの一｜返《ぺん》でいいから出逢って見たい、素人《しろうと》でも構わないから抛《な》げて見たいと至極危険な了見を抱《いだ》いて町内をあるくのもこれがためである。その他にも理由はいろいろあるが、あまり長くなるから略する事に致す。聞きたければ鰹節《かつぶし》の一折《ひとおり》も持って習いにくるがいい、いつでも教えてやる。以上に説くところを参考して推論して見ると、吾輩の考《かんがえ》では奥山《おくやま》の猿《さる》と、学校の教師がからかうには一番手頃である。学校の教師をもって、奥山の猿に比較しては勿体《もったい》ない。——猿に対して勿体ないのではない、教師に対して勿体ないのである。しかしよく似ているから仕方がない、御承知の通り奥山の猿は鎖《くさり》で繋《つな》がれている。いくら歯をむき出しても、きゃっきゃっ騒いでも引き掻《か》かれる気遣《きづかい》はない。教師は鎖で繋がれておらない代りに月給で縛られている。いくらからかったって大丈夫、辞職して生徒をぶんなぐる事はない。辞職をする勇気のあるようなものなら最初から教師などをして生徒の御守《おも》りは勤めないはずである。主人は教師である。落雲館の教師ではないが、やはり教師に相違ない。からかう［＃「からかう」に傍点］には至極《しごく》適当で、至極｜安直《あんちょく》で、至極無事な男である。落雲館の生徒は少年である。からかう［＃「からかう」に傍点］事は自己の鼻を高くする所以《ゆえん》で、教育の功果として至当に要求してしかるべき権利とまで心得ている。のみならずからかい［＃「からかい」に傍点］でもしなければ、活気に充《み》ちた五体と頭脳を、いかに使用してしかるべきか十分《じっぷん》の休暇中｜持《も》てあまして困っている連中である。これらの条件が備われば主人は自《おのず》からからかわれ［＃「からかわれ」に傍点］、生徒は自からからかう［＃「からかう」に傍点］、誰から云わしても毫《ごう》も無理のないところである。それを怒《おこ》る主人は野暮《やぼ》の極、間抜の骨頂でしょう。これから落雲館の生徒がいかに主人にからかったか、これに対して主人がいかに野暮を極めたかを逐一かいてご覧に入れる。

@@ -1026,9 +1005,7 @@ http://www.aozora.gr.jp/accent_separation.html
 「ぴん助やきしゃごが何を云ったって知らん顔をしておればいいじゃないか。どうせ下らんのだから。中学の生徒なんか構う価値があるものか。なに妨害になる。だって談判しても、喧嘩をしてもその妨害はとれんのじゃないか。僕はそう云う点になると西洋人より昔《むか》しの日本人の方がよほどえらいと思う。西洋人のやり方は積極的積極的と云って近頃｜大分《だいぶ》流行《はや》るが、あれは大《だい》なる欠点を持っているよ。第一積極的と云ったって際限がない話しだ。いつまで積極的にやり通したって、満足と云う域とか完全と云う境《さかい》にいけるものじゃない。向《むこう》に檜《ひのき》があるだろう。あれが目障《めざわ》りになるから取り払う。とその向うの下宿屋がまた邪魔になる。下宿屋を退去させると、その次の家が癪《しゃく》に触る。どこまで行っても際限のない話しさ。西洋人の遣《や》り口《くち》はみんなこれさ。ナポレオンでも、アレキサンダーでも勝って満足したものは一人もないんだよ。人が気に喰わん、喧嘩をする、先方が閉口しない、法庭《ほうてい》へ訴える、法庭で勝つ、それで落着と思うのは間違さ。心の落着は死ぬまで焦《あせ》ったって片付く事があるものか。寡人政治《かじんせいじ》がいかんから、代議政体《だいぎせいたい》にする。代議政体がいかんから、また何かにしたくなる。川が生意気だって橋をかける、山が気に喰わんと云って隧道《トンネル》を堀る。交通が面倒だと云って鉄道を布《し》く。それで永久満足が出来るものじゃない。さればと云って人間だものどこまで積極的に我意を通す事が出来るものか。西洋の文明は積極的、進取的かも知れないがつまり不満足で一生をくらす人の作った文明さ。日本の文明は自分以外の状態を変化させて満足を求めるのじゃない。西洋と大《おおい》に違うところは、根本的に周囲の境遇は動かすべからざるものと云う一大仮定の下《もと》に発達しているのだ。親子の関係が面白くないと云って欧洲人のようにこの関係を改良して落ちつきをとろうとするのではない。親子の関係は在来のままでとうてい動かす事が出来んものとして、その関係の下《もと》に安心を求むる手段を講ずるにある。夫婦君臣の間柄もその通り、武士町人の区別もその通り、自然その物を観《み》るのもその通り。——山があって隣国へ行かれなければ、山を崩すと云う考を起す代りに隣国へ行かんでも困らないと云う工夫をする。山を越さなくとも満足だと云う心持ちを養成するのだ。それだから君見給え。禅家《ぜんけ》でも儒家《じゅか》でもきっと根本的にこの問題をつらまえる。いくら自分がえらくても世の中はとうてい意のごとくなるものではない、落日《らくじつ》を回《めぐ》らす事も、加茂川を逆《さか》に流す事も出来ない。ただ出来るものは自分の心だけだからね。心さえ自由にする修業をしたら、落雲館の生徒がいくら騒いでも平気なものではないか、今戸焼の狸でも構わんでおられそうなものだ。ぴん助なんか愚《ぐ》な事を云ったらこの馬鹿野郎とすましておれば仔細《しさい》なかろう。何でも昔しの坊主は人に斬《き》り付けられた時｜電光影裏《でんこうえいり》に春風《しゅんぷう》を斬るとか、何とか洒落《しゃ》れた事を云ったと云う話だぜ。心の修業がつんで消極の極に達するとこんな霊活な作用が出来るのじゃないかしらん。僕なんか、そんなむずかしい事は分らないが、とにかく西洋人風の積極主義ばかりがいいと思うのは少々誤まっているようだ。現に君がいくら積極主義に働いたって、生徒が君をひやかしにくるのをどうする事も出来ないじゃないか。君の権力であの学校を閉鎖するか、または先方が警察に訴えるだけのわるい事をやれば格別だが、さもない以上は、どんなに積極的に出たったて勝てっこないよ。もし積極的に出るとすれば金の問題になる。多勢《たぜい》に無勢《ぶぜい》の問題になる。換言すると君が金持に頭を下げなければならんと云う事になる。衆を恃《たの》む小供に恐れ入らなければならんと云う事になる。君のような貧乏人でしかもたった一人で積極的に喧嘩をしようと云うのがそもそも君の不平の種さ。どうだい分ったかい」

 　主人は分ったとも、分らないとも言わずに聞いていた。珍客が帰ったあとで書斎へ這入《はい》って書物も読まずに何か考えていた。

 　鈴木の藤《とう》さんは金と衆とに従えと主人に教えたのである。甘木先生は催眠術で神経を沈めろと助言《じょごん》したのである。最後の珍客は消極的の修養で安心を得ろと説法したのである。主人がいずれを択《えら》ぶかは主人の随意である。ただこのままでは通されないに極《き》まっている。

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 ［＃８字下げ］九［＃「九」は中見出し］

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 　主人は痘痕面《あばたづら》である。御維新前《ごいっしんまえ》はあばた［＃「あばた」に傍点］も大分《だいぶ》流行《はや》ったものだそうだが日英同盟の今日《こんにち》から見ると、こんな顔はいささか時候｜後《おく》れの感がある。あばた［＃「あばた」に傍点］の衰退は人口の増殖と反比例して近き将来には全くその迹《あと》を絶つに至るだろうとは医学上の統計から精密に割り出されたる結論であって、吾輩のごとき猫といえども毫《ごう》も疑を挟《さしはさ》む余地のないほどの名論である。現今地球上にあばたっ面《つら》を有して生息している人間は何人くらいあるか知らんが、吾輩が交際の区域内において打算して見ると、猫には一匹もない。人間にはたった一人ある。しかしてその一人が即《すなわ》ち主人である。はなはだ気の毒である。

 　吾輩は主人の顔を見る度に考える。まあ何の因果でこんな妙な顔をして臆面《おくめん》なく二十世紀の空気を呼吸しているのだろう。昔なら少しは幅も利《き》いたか知らんが、あらゆるあばた［＃「あばた」に傍点］が二の腕へ立ち退《の》きを命ぜられた昨今、依然として鼻の頭や頬の上へ陣取って頑《がん》として動かないのは自慢にならんのみか、かえってあばた［＃「あばた」に傍点］の体面に関する訳だ。出来る事なら今のうち取り払ったらよさそうなものだ。あばた［＃「あばた」に傍点］自身だって心細いに違いない。それとも党勢不振の際、誓って落日を中天《ちゅうてん》に挽回《ばんかい》せずんばやまずと云う意気込みで、あんなに横風《おうふう》に顔一面を占領しているのか知らん。そうするとこのあばた［＃「あばた」に傍点］は決して軽蔑《けいべつ》の意をもって視《み》るべきものでない。滔々《とうとう》たる流俗に抗する万古不磨《ばんこふま》の穴の集合体であって、大《おおい》に吾人の尊敬に値する凸凹《でこぼこ》と云って宜《よろ》しい。ただきたならしいのが欠点である。

 　主人の小供のときに牛込の山伏町に浅田宗伯《あさだそうはく》と云う漢法の名医があったが、この老人が病家を見舞うときには必ずかご［＃「かご」に傍点］に乗ってそろりそろりと参られたそうだ。ところが宗伯老が亡くなられてその養子の代になったら、かご［＃「かご」に傍点］がたちまち人力車に変じた。だから養子が死んでそのまた養子が跡を続《つ》いだら葛根湯《かっこんとう》がアンチピリンに化けるかも知れない。かご［＃「かご」に傍点］に乗って東京市中を練りあるくのは宗伯老の当時ですらあまり見っともいいものでは無かった。こんな真似をして澄《すま》していたものは旧弊な亡者《もうじゃ》と、汽車へ積み込まれる豚と、宗伯老とのみであった。

@@ -1265,9 +1242,7 @@ http://www.aozora.gr.jp/accent_separation.html
 「こう自分と気狂《きちがい》ばかりを比較して類似の点ばかり勘定していては、どうしても気狂の領分を脱する事は出来そうにもない。これは方法がわるかった。気狂を標準にして自分をそっちへ引きつけて解釈するからこんな結論が出るのである。もし健康な人を本位にしてその傍《そば》へ自分を置いて考えて見たらあるいは反対の結果が出るかも知れない。それにはまず手近から始めなくてはいかん。第一に今日来たフロックコートの伯父さんはどうだ。心をどこに置こうぞ……あれも少々怪しいようだ。第二に寒月はどうだ。朝から晩まで弁当持参で球《たま》ばかり磨いている。これも棒組《ぼうぐみ》だ。第三にと……迷亭？　あれはふざけ廻るのを天職のように心得ている。全く陽性の気狂に相違ない。第四はと……金田の妻君。あの毒悪な根性《こんじょう》は全く常識をはずれている。純然たる気じるしに極《きま》ってる。第五は金田君の番だ。金田君には御目に懸った事はないが、まずあの細君を恭《うやうや》しくおっ立てて、琴瑟《きんしつ》調和しているところを見ると非凡の人間と見立てて差支《さしつか》えあるまい。非凡は気狂の異名《いみょう》であるから、まずこれも同類にしておいて構わない。それからと、——まだあるある。落雲館の諸君子だ、年齢から云うとまだ芽生えだが、躁狂《そうきょう》の点においては一世を空《むな》しゅうするに足る天晴《あっぱれ》な豪《ごう》のものである。こう数え立てて見ると大抵のものは同類のようである。案外心丈夫になって来た。ことによると社会はみんな気狂の寄り合かも知れない。気狂が集合して鎬《しのぎ》を削《けず》ってつかみ合い、いがみ合い、罵《ののし》り合い、奪い合って、その全体が団体として細胞のように崩《くず》れたり、持ち上ったり、持ち上ったり、崩れたりして暮して行くのを社会と云うのではないか知らん。その中で多少｜理窟《りくつ》がわかって、分別のある奴はかえって邪魔になるから、瘋癲院《ふうてんいん》というものを作って、ここへ押し込めて出られないようにするのではないかしらん。すると瘋癲院に幽閉されているものは普通の人で、院外にあばれているものはかえって気狂である。気狂も孤立している間はどこまでも気狂にされてしまうが、団体となって勢力が出ると、健全の人間になってしまうのかも知れない。大きな気狂が金力や威力を濫用《らんよう》して多くの小気狂《しょうきちがい》を使役《しえき》して乱暴を働いて、人から立派な男だと云われている例は少なくない。何が何だか分らなくなった」

 　以上は主人が当夜｜煢々《けいけい》たる孤灯の下《もと》で沈思熟慮した時の心的作用をありのままに描《えが》き出したものである。彼の頭脳の不透明なる事はここにも著るしくあらわれている。彼はカイゼルに似た八字髯《はちじひげ》を蓄《たくわ》うるにもかかわらず狂人と常人の差別さえなし得ぬくらいの凡倉《ぼんくら》である。のみならず彼はせっかくこの問題を提供して自己の思索力に訴えながら、ついに何等の結論に達せずしてやめてしまった。何事によらず彼は徹底的に考える脳力のない男である。彼の結論の茫漠《ぼうばく》として、彼の鼻孔から迸出《ほうしゅつ》する朝日の煙のごとく、捕捉《ほそく》しがたきは、彼の議論における唯一の特色として記憶すべき事実である。

 　吾輩は猫である。猫の癖にどうして主人の心中をかく精密に記述し得るかと疑うものがあるかも知れんが、このくらいな事は猫にとって何でもない。吾輩はこれで読心術を心得ている。いつ心得たなんて、そんな余計な事は聞かんでもいい。ともかくも心得ている。人間の膝《ひざ》の上へ乗って眠っているうちに、吾輩は吾輩の柔かな毛衣《けごろも》をそっと人間の腹にこすり付ける。すると一道の電気が起って彼の腹の中のいきさつが手にとるように吾輩の心眼に映ずる。せんだってなどは主人がやさしく吾輩の頭を撫《な》で廻しながら、突然この猫の皮を剥《は》いでちゃんちゃん［＃「ちゃんちゃん」に傍点］にしたらさぞあたたかでよかろうと飛んでもない了見《りょうけん》をむらむらと起したのを即座に気取《けど》って覚えずひやっとした事さえある。怖《こわ》い事だ。当夜主人の頭のなかに起った以上の思想もそんな訳合《わけあい》で幸《さいわい》にも諸君にご報道する事が出来るように相成ったのは吾輩の大《おおい》に栄誉とするところである。但《ただ》し主人は「何が何だか分らなくなった」まで考えてそのあとはぐうぐう寝てしまったのである、あすになれば何をどこまで考えたかまるで忘れてしまうに違ない。向後《こうご》もし主人が気狂《きちがい》について考える事があるとすれば、もう一｜返《ぺん》出直して頭から考え始めなければならぬ。そうすると果してこんな径路《けいろ》を取って、こんな風に「何が何だか分らなくなる」かどうだか保証出来ない。しかし何返考え直しても、何条《なんじょう》の径路をとって進もうとも、ついに「何が何だか分らなくなる」だけはたしかである。

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 ［＃８字下げ］十［＃「十」は中見出し］

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 「あなた、もう七時ですよ」と襖越《ふすまご》しに細君が声を掛けた。主人は眼がさめているのだか、寝ているのだか、向うむきになったぎり返事もしない。返事をしないのはこの男の癖である。ぜひ何とか口を切らなければならない時はうん［＃「うん」に傍点］と云《い》う。このうん［＃「うん」に傍点］も容易な事では出てこない。人間も返事がうるさくなるくらい無精《ぶしょう》になると、どことなく趣《おもむき》があるが、こんな人に限って女に好かれた試しがない。現在連れ添う細君ですら、あまり珍重しておらんようだから、その他は推《お》して知るべしと云っても大した間違はなかろう。親兄弟に見離され、あかの他人の傾城《けいせい》に、可愛がらりょうはずがない、とある以上は、細君にさえ持てない主人が、世間一般の淑女に気に入るはずがない。何も異性間に不人望な主人をこの際ことさらに暴露《ばくろ》する必要もないのだが、本人において存外な考え違をして、全く年廻りのせいで細君に好かれないのだなどと理窟をつけていると、迷《まよい》の種であるから、自覚の一助にもなろうかと親切心からちょっと申し添えるまでである。

 　言いつけられた時刻に、時刻がきたと注意しても、先方がその注意を無にする以上は、向《むこう》をむいてうん［＃「うん」に傍点］さえ発せざる以上は、その曲《きょく》は夫にあって、妻にあらずと論定したる細君は、遅くなっても知りませんよと云う姿勢で箒《ほうき》とはたき［＃「はたき」に傍点］を担《かつ》いで書斎の方へ行ってしまった。やがてぱたぱた書斎中を叩《たた》き散らす音がするのは例によって例のごとき掃除を始めたのである。一体掃除の目的は運動のためか、遊戯のためか、掃除の役目を帯びぬ吾輩の関知するところでないから、知らん顔をしていれば差《さ》し支《つか》えないようなものの、ここの細君の掃除法のごときに至ってはすこぶる無意義のものと云わざるを得ない。何が無意義であるかと云うと、この細君は単に掃除のために掃除をしているからである。はたき［＃「はたき」に傍点］を一通り障子《しょうじ》へかけて、箒を一応畳の上へ滑《すべ》らせる。それで掃除は完成した者と解釈している。掃除の源因及び結果に至っては微塵《みじん》の責任だに背負っておらん。かるが故に奇麗な所は毎日奇麗だが、ごみ［＃「ごみ」に傍点］のある所、ほこり［＃「ほこり」に傍点］の積っている所はいつでもごみ［＃「ごみ」に傍点］が溜《たま》ってほこり［＃「ほこり」に傍点］が積っている。告朔《こくさく》の※［＃「飲のへん＋氣」、第4水準2-92-67］羊《きよう》と云う故事《こじ》もある事だから、これでもやらんよりはましかも知れない。しかしやっても別段主人のためにはならない。ならないところを毎日毎日御苦労にもやるところが細君のえらいところである。細君と掃除とは多年の習慣で、器械的の連想をかたちづくって頑《がん》として結びつけられているにもかかわらず、掃除の実《じつ》に至っては、妻君がいまだ生れざる以前のごとく、はたき［＃「はたき」に傍点］と箒が発明せられざる昔のごとく、毫《ごう》も挙《あが》っておらん。思うにこの両者の関係は形式論理学の命題における名辞のごとくその内容のいかんにかかわらず結合せられたものであろう。

 　吾輩は主人と違って、元来が早起の方だから、この時すでに空腹になって参った。とうていうちのものさえ膳《ぜん》に向わぬさきから、猫の身分をもって朝めしに有りつける訳のものではないが、そこが猫の浅ましさで、もしや煙の立った汁の香《におい》が鮑貝《あわびがい》の中から、うまそうに立ち上っておりはすまいかと思うと、じっとしていられなくなった。はかない事を、はかないと知りながら頼みにするときは、ただその頼みだけを頭の中に描いて、動かずに落ちついている方が得策であるが、さてそうは行かぬ者で、心の願と実際が、合うか合わぬか是非とも試験して見たくなる。試験して見れば必ず失望するにきまってる事ですら、最後の失望を自《みずか》ら事実の上に受取るまでは承知出来んものである。吾輩はたまらなくなって台所へ這出《はいだ》した。まずへっつい［＃「へっつい」に傍点］の影にある鮑貝《あわびがい》の中を覗《のぞ》いて見ると案に違《たが》わず、夕《ゆう》べ舐《な》め尽したまま、闃然《げきぜん》として、怪しき光が引窓を洩《も》る初秋《はつあき》の日影にかがやいている。御三《おさん》はすでに炊《た》き立《たて》の飯を、御櫃《おはち》に移して、今や七輪《しちりん》にかけた鍋《なべ》の中をかきまぜつつある。釜《かま》の周囲には沸《わ》き上がって流れだした米の汁が、かさかさに幾条《いくすじ》となくこびりついて、あるものは吉野紙を貼《は》りつけたごとくに見える。もう飯も汁も出来ているのだから食わせてもよさそうなものだと思った。こんな時に遠慮するのはつまらない話だ、よしんば自分の望通りにならなくったって元々で損は行かないのだから、思い切って朝飯の催促をしてやろう、いくら居候《いそうろう》の身分だってひもじいに変りはない。と考え定めた吾輩はにゃあにゃあと甘えるごとく、訴うるがごとく、あるいはまた怨《えん》ずるがごとく泣いて見た。御三はいっこう顧みる景色《けしき》がない。生れついてのお多角《たかく》だから人情に疎《うと》いのはとうから承知の上だが、そこをうまく泣き立てて同情を起させるのが、こっちの手際《てぎわ》である。今度はにゃごにゃごとやって見た。その泣き声は吾ながら悲壮の音《おん》を帯びて天涯《てんがい》の遊子《ゆうし》をして断腸の思あらしむるに足ると信ずる。御三は恬《てん》として顧《かえり》みない。この女は聾《つんぼ》なのかも知れない。聾では下女が勤まる訳《わけ》がないが、ことによると猫の声だけには聾なのだろう。世の中には色盲《しきもう》というのがあって、当人は完全な視力を具えているつもりでも、医者から云わせると片輪《かたわ》だそうだが、この御三は声盲《せいもう》なのだろう。声盲だって片輪に違いない。片輪のくせにいやに横風《おうふう》なものだ。夜中なぞでも、いくらこっちが用があるから開けてくれろと云っても決して開けてくれた事がない。たまに出してくれたと思うと今度はどうしても入れてくれない。夏だって夜露は毒だ。いわんや霜《しも》においてをやで、軒下に立ち明かして、日の出を待つのは、どんなに辛《つら》いかとうてい想像が出来るものではない。この間しめ出しを食った時なぞは野良犬の襲撃を蒙《こうむ》って、すでに危うく見えたところを、ようやくの事で物置の家根《やね》へかけ上《あが》って、終夜｜顫《ふる》えつづけた事さえある。これ等は皆御三の不人情から胚胎《はいたい》した不都合である。こんなものを相手にして鳴いて見せたって、感応《かんのう》のあるはずはないのだが、そこが、ひもじい時の神頼み、貧のぬすみに恋のふみと云うくらいだから、たいていの事ならやる気になる。にゃごおうにゃごおうと三度目には、注意を喚起するためにことさらに複雑なる泣き方をして見た。自分ではベトヴェンのシンフォニーにも劣らざる美妙の音《おん》と確信しているのだが御三には何等の影響も生じないようだ。御三は突然膝をついて、揚げ板を一枚はね除《の》けて、中から堅炭の四寸ばかり長いのを一本つかみ出した。それからその長い奴を七輪《しちりん》の角でぽんぽんと敲《たた》いたら、長いのが三つほどに砕けて近所は炭の粉で真黒くなった。少々は汁の中へも這入《はい》ったらしい。御三はそんな事に頓着する女ではない。直ちにくだけたる三個の炭を鍋《なべ》の尻から七輪の中へ押し込んだ。とうてい吾輩のシンフォニーには耳を傾けそうにもない。仕方がないから悄然《しょうぜん》と茶の間の方へ引きかえそうとして風呂場の横を通り過ぎると、ここは今女の子が三人で顔を洗ってる最中で、なかなか繁昌《はんじょう》している。

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 「ええちょっと用事が出来たんです。——ともかくも出ようじゃありませんか」

 「そう。それじゃ出ようか」

 「さあ行きましょう。今日は私が晩餐《ばんさん》を奢《おご》りますから、——それから運動をして上野へ行くとちょうど好い刻限です」としきりに促《うな》がすものだから、主人もその気になって、いっしょに出掛けて行った。あとでは細君と雪江さんが遠慮のない声でげらげらけらけらからからと笑っていた。

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 ［＃８字下げ］十一［＃「十一」は中見出し］

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 　床の間の前に碁盤を中に据《す》えて迷亭君と独仙君が対坐している。

 「ただはやらない。負けた方が何か奢《おご》るんだぜ。いいかい」と迷亭君が念を押すと、独仙君は例のごとく山羊髯《やぎひげ》を引っ張りながら、こう云《い》った。

 「そんな事をすると、せっかくの清戯《せいぎ》を俗了《ぞくりょう》してしまう。かけなどで勝負に心を奪われては面白くない。成敗《せいはい》を度外において、白雲の自然に岫《しゅう》を出でて冉々《ぜんぜん》たるごとき心持ちで一局を了してこそ、個中《こちゅう》の味《あじわい》はわかるものだよ」

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 　その時苦しいながら、こう考えた。こんな呵責《かしゃく》に逢うのはつまり甕から上へあがりたいばかりの願である。あがりたいのは山々であるが上がれないのは知れ切っている。吾輩の足は三寸に足らぬ。よし水の面《おもて》にからだが浮いて、浮いた所から思う存分前足をのばしたって五寸にあまる甕の縁に爪のかかりようがない。甕のふちに爪のかかりようがなければいくらも掻《が》いても、あせっても、百年の間身を粉《こ》にしても出られっこない。出られないと分り切っているものを出ようとするのは無理だ。無理を通そうとするから苦しいのだ。つまらない。自《みずか》ら求めて苦しんで、自ら好んで拷問《ごうもん》に罹《かか》っているのは馬鹿気ている。

 「もうよそう。勝手にするがいい。がりがりはこれぎりご免蒙《めんこうむ》るよ」と、前足も、後足も、頭も尾も自然の力に任せて抵抗しない事にした。

 　次第に楽になってくる。苦しいのだかありがたいのだか見当がつかない。水の中にいるのだか、座敷の上にいるのだか、判然しない。どこにどうしていても差支《さしつか》えはない。ただ楽である。否《いな》楽そのものすらも感じ得ない。日月《じつげつ》を切り落し、天地を粉韲《ふんせい》して不可思議の太平に入る。吾輩は死ぬ。死んでこの太平を得る。太平は死ななければ得られぬ。南無阿弥陀仏《なむあみだぶつ》南無阿弥陀仏。ありがたいありがたい。

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 底本：「夏目漱石全集1」ちくま文庫、筑摩書房

 　　　1987（昭和62）年9月29日第1刷発行

 底本の親本：「筑摩全集類聚版夏目漱石全集」筑摩書房